I tripped for the first time on Halloween of this year. I lost perceptions of pain, words didn't make sense to me and my ego was ripped out of my chest. After this I went on a massive absurd existentialist quest that led me back to my true inner nature because of the amazement I viewed my new world in that didn't answer any questions, getting panic attacks at simple things such as cars and people -- If you want to read my immediate desperation read my other posts. After 2 months I've realized that this world runs and feeds off ego and it's false definitions of emotions. I then turned to spirituality, specifically Zen. I understood what Buddha was trying to teach in detaching oneself to definitions and eventually reaching a state of no self and no mind. Have any of you reached this peak I suppose in any of your trips? Mine was the perfect storm.. depressive existentialist state, first time - two tabs, by myself on Halloween with only one or two friends to reach to if anything went wrong -- Thankfully I found my best friend on campus whilst in my most desperate almost suicidal (deluded ego) moments. I am now reaching the state of pure awareness. My emotional death has led me to almost a peace and calm where although deluded by the voices in my head I do not act on them because I cannot define emotion and rather let my body and spirit take over and continue to eat, sleep and drink. What's your opinion on this quote: "It's clearly a crisis of two things: of consciousness and conditioning. These are the two things that the psychedelics attack. We have the technological power, the engineering skills to save our planet, to cure disease, to feed the hungry, to end war; But we lack the intellectual vision, the ability to change our minds. We must decondition ourselves from 10,000 years of bad behavior. And, it's not easy." —Terence McKenna, "This World...and Its Double" I think it hits the nail on the head. Thank you for reading and please let me know your techniques if you've ever been in a similar situation post-trip so I may learn to align back into the western world properly.
after a rather intence mushroom trip, and texts like osho's book of secrets, i went through a time period that sounds similar to yours. existentialism turned into crippleing nihalism, the smallest things, like eye contact with a stranger would set me off and bring me to tears. "ahhhh its all so empty!!!" it was an increadibly valuable (though difficult) chapter in my life. illusions were slain, which meant my dreams too disapeared. i came out far more centered and calm, but more empty inside. i came to a point where it was nessesary to recognize that there is somthing here. there is, though i know not what it is. its enough to observe and strive to entrain myself with this natual rhythm. keep looking out with your real eyes, keep reflecting them out into other peoples eyes. it means somthing.
damn it's interesting that you say that your dreams disappeared.. i had a deluded dream last night.. i think when you awaken even dreams aren't deluded anymore.. that's awesome man glad to hear that you're still moving and trying to improve your true nature.. i'm trying to practice with martial arts.
by dreams i mean hopes and aspirations. martial arts sound great, im into other kinds of movement practises and iv always been drawn to the idea of somthing like kung fu. i could use (and enjoy) that kind of disapline...but iv yet to motivate and do it already. lol.
This is exactly the goal we are going for. Well, a good amount of us are going for. What I personally feel however is that taking psychedelic substances does not directly lead us to that in our lives. For an extended period of time we can experience that exact death of ego, and receive the visions. Hopefully we can take out positive attitudes, and expanded view points on the matter out from our psychedelic experiences. For me atleast, It will take much spiritual practice and devotion (dharma) to reach such a state. Many people take psychedelics for fun, yet remain in denial about certain aspects of things, and still choose a life opposite of what we really desire. Archemitis, I have gone through and in many ways still go through those feelings of emptiness as a result from my experiences, however it is an illusion that this is a state of pain. The pain is not easy to overcome, that's why we seek to be one with god and enlightenment.
as far as i can tell pain is one of the few things that is not illusion. im okay with it though, id rather feel it and dissolve it then suppress it. certainly we are capable of adjusting our attitutes in a way that deflects unnessesary pain, but there is still the human expirience and pain that cannot be numbed in a healthy way...deep heart pain, its somthing that is valid and valuable.
Physical pain is not easy to overcome.. sensations are not easy -- that's what I'm trying to do with martial arts, but as far as feelings go thankfully I'm past that.. but that too is also a practice as I got angry at this girl for judging me yesterday lol.. so if I experienced emotional death where did the anger come from? Ha.. I have a ways to go.. Thank you for understanding my question sir, and you are quite right psychedelics are a tool to understanding our true nature.. On a topic I posted earlier this guy said that I should consider myself blessed. Now that I understand, I understand why. Some people take 100's of trips, and I realized it in 1.. but now I must use it to improve.
Archemetis It is valuable indeed for it is there to learn from. I definitely think you are right, and the pain that is not illusion is the Yin forces in your body, especially when it comes to processing events. However the pain that is an illusion is eternal pain, and not being able to easily let things go and move forward on your path using what you learned. That's wonderful Ravkes. Tonight I realized that it may be hard to reach the highest level of enlightenment and oneness with god and that is my goal. But what is available for us is not only a positive and open attitude but a connection with the beyond, although one may not be completely one with it yet. Psychedelics help with this, by igniting new perspectives that stick.
Learn. That's exactly what we're talking about doing, and what we think we've learned. Thanks for the input.
Well put my friend, well put. Looks like we're on similar paths, I hope to see you sometime in eternity.
