Parents are self esteem killers

Oh cherea...youd be surprise. Look back on my old posts. I got worse than what you see from being criticized. I just dont get bothered by it. it makes me laugh. Idiots.

my mom's not really bothering me about a job. Im looking here and there. I think because we're getting closer to getting on disability

Its sad when im getting judged at interviews. I have schooling, i have experience, I got a good personality but the druggie after me gets the job and i see it all the time. full on idiots get jobs before me. Yeah im gonna be emotional because my disability is catching up with me and i dont want it to

i have a few people to talk to but they never seem to give me good comforting advice. I just keep my head up the best i can and partly come here for advice

 

I know, Stacy. You know what they say, don't feed the troll. :biggrin:

What do you mean by catching up?

 

I know

Its catching up by it getting noticed as the first thing. Im real stubborn to say i have a disability because honestly you really cant notice it. I have a "normal brain" and I can function well. Just my speech impediment and my inability to lift over 50 lbs but then again what girl my size can?

Well since i have to get serious and get a job and the way this ecomony is...they want the best of the best. Im not that. I have limits and thats how its catching up

 

From what I read, you definitely need to have the guts to take charge and do what you want to do anyway...even if that's (for some reason) insulting to your parents. Don't let that shit hold you back.

 

I know. I should really take my skills out on them like I treat men in the bedroom

"GIVE ME SOME FUCKING RESPECT DAMNIT!"

 

yeah, i grew up with that same type of from my "parents."
growing up with that type of shit taught me one thing... never get married and, never have kids.
i never have and never will either.

 

Why must you insist on always calling me an idiot? Like I've told you before, if you don't want an opinion on something that YOU PUT OUT THERE, then keep it to yourself.
What makes you think you deserve it? Like I said, when you're out on your own, mommy and daddy won't be there to pay you for taking out the trash or cleaning your room.
And, yes, it DOES sound bratty to me.

And, judging soley by your posts, you are like any other teenager. A teenager that bitches about their parents. A teenager that bitches because their parents bitch about them not having a job.
And, YOU let them get you down about not getting back into school. You don't NEED a job to get into school....if you wanted it bad enough, there are ALWAYS student loans. Unless you have an excuse for not having one of those, aside from having to pay it back, of course.

Just for the record, I'm NOT judging you on your age, but your bratty post.

 

not your opinion. you're assuming that im lazy

yeah i kinda know that broad. its the best i can do to get some money for the time being or do you want me to sit on my ass all day?

again I came here for advice because I dont get it from my rents. they kill my self esteem, Im not bitching. i just dnt wanna spend a grand for a psychologist. get the fuck out of my thread if you're just here to criticize me because thats all you do to me now

and i already did all that shit with the loans. i got denied otherwise id be in college

I just help out to help out. they give me money every now and then. how is that bratty to you??

 

I don't just criticize you. That's just how you take my posts.

That was in my first post, or did you skip over that? That isn't criticizing you. That's encouraging you to get out there and prove your mother wrong. The only way to get them OFF your back is to show them THEY are the ones with the problem.

And, no ma'am I will not avoid a thread just because you start it. If I have an opinion, I will give it. Because, YES I had an opinion, not an assumption.

Where did you apply for your loans? Through a bank or through the financial aid department at your school? I've not known of ANYONE to get turned down a loan through the financial aid department....not saying you won't, just they don't do that HERE. I had to sign an agreement that the money could be deducted out of my taxes each year after I'm through with college if I don't make my payments like I'm supposed to. Maybe ask them about something like that....
Apply for grants and things through your school. At the college I attend, they have special grants for 'disabled' people. Maybe you may qualify. Maybe not. You can't give up before you try EVERYTHING.

 

Girl, your stress levels are way too high. I had a mother who I was sure loved to see me suffer. I just got out on my own.

It's a pain in the butt to support yourself financially, but it's worth every ounce of energy it takes to liberate yourself from an emotionally oppressive environment.

To start, you need to do what makes you feel good. For me it would be some tea, and fruit and good stretches to make me feel whole.

"Follow your bliss" is a healthy cliche.

If you want to go back to school, do it. And make sure it is for something you really want in your life.

I went back to school. I'm studying to be a math teacher and I'm a math tutor at my school in the Chicago burbs. I am willing to help you out if you are struggling with math.

Get out of that toxic environment and you will see how beautiful life can be.

 

stacy, you say you want advice but all you really want and it is obvious is pity and people to agree with you about how rotten and pathetic your life is.. Most here will give you just that as you can see from all the posts thus far.. However a few of us will actually give you good advice and you chalk it up to us being mean and cruel.. Typical really for one that just wants to play the victim role..

 

dili, i respect your advice, and typically its what I would've given as well...

but i see a girl suffering (whether it be at the hands of other's or at her own hands is neither here nor there) and sometimes when a person is at that point it's redundant to play the tough love role, as that is what she seems to be getting wherever she turns....

some people are very fragile and only respond to "kid glove" treatment, crushing her self esteem any further by being stone cold blunt could be detrimental to any progress she thinks she may have made.

in most ways i come from the old school like you, where it comes down to kill or be killed survival of the fittest type mentality but sometimes these people hit close to home and i have a soft spot.

I know a girl (i've grown up with her) who also suffers from a mild form of cerebral palsy, i dont know how similar her and stacy are but i can tell you cognitive development can be very delayed in these cases and she may not be fully able to grasp many concepts. I know she hates her age mentioned but the fact is, disability or not her brain still isnt fully developed and a lot of reasoning skills won't come for a couple of years.

she asked advice because she can't reason for herself fully, and doesnt trust herself yet either....

from her other posts (which i wont pick apart) she does lack the abililty to make sound decisions without someone telling her she is right or good.


and there is the end of my train of thought..lol, fuck i was a roll there.. i guess what im sayin is you cant expect everyone to be independent and able without proper direction which she doesnt seem to have.

 

I never said i wanted that. I said i wanted guidance somehow and all you guys did was criticize and telling me that im lazy or making excuses to be on my own and im not going to let that get away with me. I speak my mind very clearly but you guys still need to criticize.

again not good "parenting"

I think mary nailed it on the head. I dont want any more tough love then im already getting here at the house. obviously it doesnt work out for me. I need support from other people so i can regain confidence and try again. I cant get that here

and if you think about it...what 19 y.o has proper direction at this age? a lot of young people need support and motivation to do what they want to do

my brain is scattered everywhere in the career field. Im kinda glad im not in college yet or else id be pissing away a lot of money just trying to pick a career but right now im looking at ultrasound tech and im asking people if they see me in that and luckily i get a lot of positive answers because it really wont be so hard on my disability

and i get criticizers and let downers like some people here and my parents and thats really NOT what im looking for. i get it enough

believe me i tried everything with college. i got denied for aid and i got denied for a loan because i have no credit built up and my parents income is enough for me to live on them for college. i know its stupid but i kinda need a job which i cant get right now so im getting on disability

 

stacy-i can understand to a point BUT i am one that has a disability myself AND i will not allow anything stop me. My mother was not very supportive. i was always told i couldn't do this couldn't do that i'm in my second year of college with 80's 90's and mom still can't believe it . The first time she ever said she loved me was on my wedding day 3.5 years ago. I never had the opprotunity to have a childhood a tennage life because of my seizures after my 16 th birthday my parents said well time to get a job , i held 3 jobs part time school babysat my nephews and i still yet to enjoy my teenage years and i'm 27. What i'm trying to say is NO matter what anyone says you can do whtever you want its all up to you .. you have all the power don't let someone take the power away from you.

 

Did it ever occur to you that they, your parents, could also be under stress and in need of emotional help and comfort?
What did you do for them, to ease their discomfort and stress, how did you help them out so far?

You are 19 y.o. lad (or girl, w/e). If you think you can go to college then just go and do it.
Why do you need somebody to tell you how well you gonna make it?
Did you watch too many b.s. movies, with crowds chanting "you can do it!!!" and "hero" doing it precisely because of that? Well, that's only in the movies or simply staged for show effects, they write those scripts to sell the tickets at the box-offices.

Now, welcome to the real world!
If you really believe in yourself then nobody can discourage you from doing what you set your mind to do, just as nobody can help you do it if the task is far beyond your reach.
There will be plenty of "ill wishers", for sure (and I am not talking about your parents, who probably wish you were better than them and all they probably see is the mirror reflection of their own youth in you. What a pain it must be for them to see you unable to pass the simple math test at school! Just prove them wrong about college and see how happy they will be).

So be prepared. In real life there will be many of those who will do all they can to obstruct and prevent any advancement in your life if you occupy the lower steps of social ladder, if try to climb it alone (without strong family support) and do it steadfastly.
Remember, most people are foolish, live in a fantasy world and do sinserely belive that you deserve and earned what you have got, as if the life conditions you have at any given moment were not like a lottery ticket thrown at you in random (which in most cases it really is), but a result of some sort of divine meritocracy with just God or some other superpower dutifully in charge and giving everyone their due.

The mechanics of the whole process is sufficiently simple to grasp though, it's indeed what you can call the "water pressure effect" : the lower you are under the surface of the water, the greater pressure gets. Same law applies in society. Nothing more to it.

And it's no joke. You will be beaten to ground and obliterated, even may be killed or broken down for good if you are not capable of beating the odds and elevating yourself relying on yourself and yourself only!

Don't listen to shrinks, most of them know no shit, they just try to climb the same ladder as you do, only they are a little more clever and much above your level (and couldn't care less if you permanently stay at the bottom of it).

Listen to your instincts, fight for your survival and be ready to face the outcome, whatever it might be.

Good luck.

 

recognize the situation way too much, though I moved out now. So sad how people who are supposed to set an example for you can behave.

 

I agree on taking initiative more than anything else in the world, but damn dude, that's harsh. You don't know the details so you shouldn't be so quick to judge! He wasn't crying over the bread, he was crying over the way his mother treated him. People aren't made of stone! It is hard enough not to be affected when a complete stranger makes those statements, but when family, esp your own parents, makes those statements, even bhuddha himself would be hurt.

 

Good advice. I hope I can sum up the courage to do just that.

 

Oh yes you are. And you are making a lot of assumptions too! You assume he hasn't tried everything for instance...

 

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