ok here's my situation.. i'm in a band with 3 of my good friendsC, M, and J. I started the band with the closest of the 3, C and we had everything planned out or whatever i'd be vocalist he'd be lead guitar(he had been going to guitar lessons for about a year and had been telling me he was really good and whatnot) and we'd find a rhythm guitarist,bassist and drummer. Cool. Found M our other guitarist from my horticulture class, and J to play bass cus he used to go to my middle school and we were talking about jamming for a long time. Put M on lead and C on rhythm and J was playing bass and me on vocals. All good. Everyone notices C isn't so good and isn't really even practicing his parts/songs we cover/improving/etc. So I mention to M that we might have to do something about it and he agrees, and so does J I asked him how he felt about it as well. Started talking to this kid R who is a monster at bass and the new plan is to have R on bass, M on lead, J on rhythm, me on vocals, and we'll keep using the drum machine we use for drums until we get a drummer. My problem is that C is one of my best friends that i hang out with regularly. We've been decided what we want to do for about 2 weeks but I don't know how to tell him. I don't want to lose him as a friend but I don't wanna be a little plotting jerk behind his back, and i don't even know how to bring it up to him. Anyone got advice? sorry for all the writing im really high
he was for about a year, and he wasnt even improving or anything, and he's one of those people that has a big ego and cant take advice. J is alot better than him and has a better playing chemistry with M
tell him to get better or you are gonna have to kick him out. or get the rest of your band to tell him, then you can agree
Hahaha "sorry for all the writing I'm really high" Well have you told C that he needs to practice and shit? Maybe he lied about how long he's been playing, or whatever. But if you're good friends with him you'd know. I'd go top his house, alone, and talk to him yourself about him practicing and getting better. Did you even try that before fin ding someone else behind his back? That's not gonna make him happy, in fact it'll make him feel very betrayed. You have a hot situation on your hands.
Dude, your best bet is to be honest with him. It might hurt your relationship with him but you made that choice when you started the band in the first place. I guess your decision is based upon what is more important to you. His friendship or the band. Tell him your concerns about the amount of time he is putting into the band and that he might not have the skills to be a rock star. You know him better than I do but I am sure you will find a good way to say it to him without hurting his feelings. You could start this out in one of several ways. For example, ask him how he thinks things are going with the band. Ask his opinion. Ask him if he feels he has enough time to spend on practice and such. Tell him you had the same conversation with the other guys and don't name names but be sure to tell him the truth. The only other things I could say would be to be positive about it. Don't turn it into a you suck conversation just say that you don't feel the sound is mixing well. Not everyone can be a rock star. Just be his friend and talk to him like his friend. Another thing you might want to consider is if there is another way he can help out with the band. Just a thought. I know this sucks but the sooner you have your conversation the better.
Sucks man. The band I had in high school, we all were good friends with the kid who played bass for us, and we still kicked him out lol. He was pissed, but really it wasn't personal. We told him we were sorry and a couple of us told him if he practiced, we'd start another band with him because it's always fun to play music. That's the best you can do. He was still pissed and didn't take us up on our offer, and a lot of times he acted like a bitch about it, but he still came to all the shows and shit. Then we kicked out our singer too for a better friend of ours who was much better. The original singer, we weren't very good friends with him, he was really weird and could never practice anyways.
It's always best to do these things sooner and probably best if he hears it from you. It's best if he hears it from you before he starts to get 'the idea' from other people. But remember he's your friend. Include him in things. Make sure you go out of your way to hang out with him. Include him in band things. "Hey were having a practice this afternoon and we're all hanging out afterwards" You could start of the talk with him "Have you ever heard the name Pete Best?" Sorry just kidding.
well, to everyone saying i should tell him to practice more, the thing is, we all WANT him out of the band because it's kind of like we have to write songs to his ability..M and J just go so much better together. at this point it feels like he is holding us back, and he plans on joining the marines right out of school anyway when we're going to be playing shows and shit so..this will just be better for the band im going to try and tell him this weekend, and it is what it is, if he's mad then he's mad, but im going to make sure he knows it's nothing personal i still wanna be his boy and shit, but things just didnt work out
