Does he like me? Or is he playing games?

BTW Before you read this, I'm 27, Gay and I live in London.

I've been out on a few dates with this guy.

When I go out on dates, it usually leads to sex, not always on the first date, sometimes the 2nd. Then it just fizzles out and nothing happens.

But about 6 or 7 weeks ago, I met this Italian guy, we'll call him 'Mr Italy'. At first, I thought he was being friendly, asking me out, I know he's new to London and I thought 'great maybe he's looking for friendship', I did obviously notice how attractive he was, but to be honest, I didn't think he'd be interested in me.

Anyway, we had our date, we came back to mine to smoke some weed, I did want to kiss him, but I didn't really feel that vibe. So after a few hours he left, we didn't even kiss on the cheek. But it felt really good and we made arrangements to meet up at the following weekend.

Anyway, due to unforseen circumstances we didn't meet up that weekend, but a few weeks later we arranged to meet up.
He asked me to go out with his italian 'friends' who had just arrived in London too, to be honest I just assumed one would have been his boyfriend, but I wanted to go because I though 'Ok he might want to be friends, I'll settle for that'. But the two italian mates weren't involved with him, they were actually just friends.

We all had a good night out, he was snogging (kissing) other guys in the club we were at, to be honest I wasn't devestated or anything, or hurt, but I just felt a little weird, he also kissed me that night too.

We went out last weekend again, with some more mates he introduced me too, this time he played it up big time in the club, he snogged loads of guys, even got one's number, when I went over to ask him for a cigarette he asked me to wait until he got this guys number.

When we were all standing outside having a cigarette later (well we were actually smoking a spliff hahaha!! in the club smoking area - pissheads I know), I was talking to his friend (a girl from sweden that he brought along) about this perfect guy I know, I was showing her pictures of him in my phone, and Mr Italy seemed very bothered about this, saying something along the lines of 'I'm Mr Perfect!, It's me you should have on your phone', obviously he was jesting (half joking), but I did think ok then.

What else I've noticed is, he always snogs a guy right in front of me, but I'm the one he walks home at the end of the night, I'm the one he leaves with, btw we haven't kissed since that first time. But we have hugged.

At the bus stop home, last friday, it was just me and him and he gave me a kiss on the cheek and said 'I'll txt you', once I got home he txted 'I hope you got home safe xx', I dunno what to think really?

Does he like me? Or should I just settle for friendship?

To be honest, I've never had to really chase a guy, I'm scared that if I don't tell him how I feel, then he could get serious with someone else?

But also I'm scared that, ok he might want to have sex with me and be a friend, but he doesn't want anything else? Too be honest I don't know if I do either.

I would like to have sex with him, but also I want to be a friend.

What do you guys think?

 

He is probably flirting with you but not 'chasing' you as such.. Probably just having fun, and does obviously care about you if he walks you home! I wouldn't fret about it, just go with the flow and see what happens. If you want to chase him, chase him. I wouldn't go blurting your heart out to him though

 

Ah yes, the male ego, just as silly in the gay world as it is in the straight world.

If he gets angry / bitchy if you snog other guys in front of him, does sound like you are important to him, but by the same token he'll snog guys in front of you to try make you jealous.

Its just fear, fear that if things get serious, you might end up getting bored with him /reject him, plus fear about exclusivity which may be a new concept for him - that if he tries exclusivity you are going to end up living on the couch together watching TV / picking out matching dinner sets together and his clubbing days will be over.

At 27, is it really time for you to head down that settle down road?, just cos most of your straight friends might be doing that, doesnt mean the same applies to you. Hetero and Homo dont live on the same time line (no matter what anyone else says). Why not wait till your 50s or beyond, when you actually will need hip replacement surgery to end your clubbing days, then you'll still have plenty of time to sit on the couch together and talk crap

I went through a similar stage in my late 20s, influenced largely by the majority of straight friends same age doing the settling down / baby thing. Didnt last long, once their adorable newborns turned into screaming snotty 4 yr olds, and they became eternally cranky from the 4 yrs of no sleep, I was glad I had skipped all that and was still able to pop a pill and shake it till the break of dawn whenever I wanted to.

Anyway, why do you need to get serious anyway? Most of the gay guys your age wont start settling down for another 10,20, even 30 years anyway

 

No I wouldn't do that, I wouldn't blurt my heart out.

To be fair though, I'm not desperately in love (or lust) with him, but I do really like him.

 

I know I'm too young to settle down, but In the long term I do want a partner and children, I don't want to be in my late 30's or early 40's before that happens.

I want to begin to be settled by around 33-34.
By 38 have two or three kids and a civil partner.
We'll see.

 

I would suggest just going with the flow. If he comes onto you, play along. You'll find out sooner or later what he wants from you.

 

yess !!!! thats a good reply