need to sort myself out, what are your interpretations?

here's my situation: i recently started dating someone who i've been interested in for a while. i really like him- he is incredibly smart, driven, funny and i'm very attracted to him. i'm pretty sure he has similar feelings. we had gone out a couple times, and kissed only once or twice. a few days ago we got together, drank way to much, and had MIND BLOWING sex...totally out of this world.
but, i find it hard to be open and close to him without having at least a little (but the more the better) to drink. i think this is because i'm kinda shy when it comes to physical-ness, unless there's some alcohol involved. i just find it hard to be confident and carefree...which is really starting to worry me because i don't want him to think i don't like him, or that i need to be drunk to want him. i would love to fuck him completely sober, but it's just hard to get there without being nerovous. when we are just sitting and talking, i'm fine, and feel totally at ease being around him. i know that this is probably all in my head, but this is really starting to bug me about myself.

what do you guys think? is this bad? will i ever be confident without alcohol? should i just keep drinkin and having mind blowing sex with him???

 

Alcohol is a dangerous territory because what it can do is intensify your feelings and actions, sometimes in an excessive manner. I've been drunk enough over the last several years to know this firsthand, lol.

I have two suggestions that you may or may not benefit from.. One, how about you tell your boyfriend exactly what you just told us? It's important to be honest in a relationship. And two, maybe take things a bit more slowly? If you're not comfortable with the physical aspect of your relationship unless you've had a bit to drink, then you might not be ready to take that step with him yet. You said it yourself, you two had only kissed one or twice before you had sex. To me, that sounds like the sex had happened prematurely, as in you two didn't get to fully develop the physical closeness before you took that step.

Will you ever be confident without alcohol? Yes, but you'd basically need to love yourself the way you are. It's like what people say, "you can't love others unless you love yourself". I totally believe this to be true. And no, avoid relying on alcohol. The negative outcomes outweigh the positive ones!

All the best!

 

wow thank you. i totally agree with you 100%. that was my hunch. so can this be fixed? i mean i really don't want to give him the wrong idea, but honestly i think that before i'm "that comfortable" to get that intimate again, i'm going to need some time to get to know him better. i guess i'll have to tell him my feelings, and that's pretty scary. i definately do not regret having sex with him, but you're totally right that it happened to soon, and maybe not under the best circumstances.
thanks so much for your reply!

 

You're welcome! In the words of Lenny Kravitz, "if you want it, you got it. you just got to believe... believe in yourself".