Yea This shit is pretty Pathetic but idk any more

Well, not sure if this is the right place to post or if anyone really gives a fuck but i dunno just needed to say sumtin to somebody if this post even gets read, im 18 almost 19, single and a virgin.
To make things worse, i've never had a girlfreind and have only been on 2 dates in my life with one person, i have been pondering alot recently and have been thinking about my situation being 18 single a virgin and no real way to meet new girls or talk to the ones i went to school with and i began to think to myself.
Now im not even sure if this is possible but I am begining to think that my lack of relationship has in a way desensitized me over time, i feel as if i have become a cold person, im not desensitzed only in the matters of relationship but in all matters of life.
I feel as if not having a realtion ship has taken my ability to feel for others or even have feelings for others, the only feelings I have for women are the normal aroused sexual feelings and non others like love and the such.
Im angry alot, don't have any1 to relate to and have been for awhile starting to feel alone, not alone as in like having company or having a girlfriend cause i wouldn't know what that feels like to begin with but i feel as if im the black sheep, becoming more distanced from society.
And i begin to think to myself maybe i'll be that guy who is the manager of some shit store who goes home everynight to his single apartment when hes 40 years old watch's t.v. jacks off and goes to bed then gets up and repeats until the day he dies.
Some people tell me "one day you'll meet some one" well guess fucking what, the day's go by motherfuckers and its the same shit i never talk to any girls and no girls ever talk to me, why would they, they got shit to do and im just a guy with a dick and were a dime a dozen. My family tells me that i'll find some girl, well i wake up go to work and come back home, there aint alot of fucking opportunity.
Honestly i don't wanna sound emo or anything or trying to get peoples sympathy cause it aint like that but if my life is set to be like this id rather be dead than live till 40 and live a life like i explained, i aint gunna kill myself no worries and i aint gunna go gunhoe and shootup a place so don't worry. Im just dead inside these days.
and for those of you who think im just a horny asshole jerk kinda guy.... FUCK YOU!

 

Well, if your 18, it's natural to be horny. I'll let slide the fact that your simplified age section said 22. You must have had a reason to raise your age a little when you joined. Not necessarily my concern there.

Now, what I think is... You gotta chill dude! This is coming from one virgin to another. And let me tell you, I'm old enough to be your father...technically speaking anyway. But I think what you first need to do is deal with your anger. I can understand why all this can be frustrating because I HAVE been there myself...only I don't really recall ever being angry to that extent. But hey, at least you're venting, and venting is healthier than keeping anger bottled inside.

By the way, there is no absolute FUCKIN' way you could ever be so bloody damned sure that you'd end up being that 40 year old. BUT, that WILL be your life IF you let it. You my friend must take responsibility for your own life. If you don't think you can meet new people, then think of some ways. Find a hobby or two, hang out a local coffee shop and befriend some of the regulars there. At least where I come from, coffee shops are great place to meet new people. So why shouldn't this work for you, right?

And seriously, if you're 18, 19, and worried about still being a virgin, then here's one word for ya... Don't. It's true, man, lol. I was frustrated a week before my 20th birthday, but then when I turned 20 the way I perceived sex and virginity changed. Just. Like. That. Maybe I'm an odd one out(and I like it that way, lol) but I started thinking, "Fuck, what was I thinking?? I have my entire life to do this!" That's right, you have PLENTY of time to achieve this thing that you so wish to achieve.

While I'm on a roll(LOL), I'd like to add that you may consider waiting until you met someone special, that "right" girl... I'm NOT saying someone you'll marry, no. I'm all for premarital sex, I'm no prude. I'm just saying someone you love and care about. It'll make your first time sex that much sweeter, more touching, and more meaningful. On the other hand, you know those stories of people who rushed it... Nah, you wouldn't want to go down that road I don't think.

So like I said, relax, deal with your negative feelings toward people and life, and and above all, LOVE THYSELF. I wish you all the best!

 

I think you're reading way to much into this... You're only 18 there are lots of guys who are single and virgins at your age. I dunno maybe instead of sitting in front of the T.V and wacking off you could venture into the real world and communicate with real people.

 

Thx alternative thinker, it's just difficult somestimes when your peers talk to you about experiences you can't relate to or even just ridicule you, i mean like im not just a guy who sits on the coch all day and watches t.v. and jacks off as missedit implied.
If i went to a coffee shop and chilled, it would be embarassing because i would sit their and nobody would talk to me and i wouldn't really have a reason to talk to a stranger getting coffee, And it's when i start to feel embarassed that i get angry because like most people, i don't like being made to look like a fool.
You could say "get out more, go places" but what makes it so diffrent, i know i don't really talk to strangers so why would they wanna talk to me. I havent ever had a relationship with girls so that makes it more difficult to approch them and talk with them, when i do talk to girls i sound like a tool cause i have nothing to say and it always ends up being awkward. I don't care about getting my nut, goin so long without having sex makes it so that you don't really have a need for it because you don't even know what its like. And then you think about later down the road, IF you ever get in a relationship and eventually have sex, or even simplified just have sex with a girl the embarassment that follows when you last 10 seconds. Maybe i think too much about it but it's a rut that im stuck in and it doen't look easy to get out of.

 

Unfortunately I can say I have been there. And have been in the same way in some respects.. Me sitting there at a coffee shop would just make me look like a fool lol and The bar thing just had me looking ridiculous overall. Even If you go there to chat half the time your just sitting there with groups of friends to the left and right of you and feeling out of place in all respects.

Its to easy to look at all the negative things there are.. and its easier yet for them to compound upon each other. But realize your not the only one out there with the same issues. There are tons of people there, Both genders included. My job takes me between 4 states, I've been to thousands apon thousands of homes.. Theres alot of people liveing alone out there. Majority of which is actually women.

Searching online for realities is a lie theres to many connotations out there that people build apon as some sort of "outlook" that is mainly baseless and petty.

The solution unfortunately is just not to think on it. Keep active into doing things you like, whether its online or anywhere, just to keep a positive outlook to things.. its as murphy's law says .. When you are not looking for it, it ends up appearing for you.. But when searching endlessly ..you will remain that way.

The negatives will drag you down with no avail.. As an example .. I was a virgin until age 28. Live in a basement of my parents home. Have only been through 2 relationships in my life. Considering this in relation to the crap said online.. I could easily say a failure.. However the positives are what only counts in the long run. which is:

I Pay 2k a month in upkeep for this home in which was needed to help out my parents keep afloat. I will own this house. I will have another inhereted home down the line. Which Makes me completely stable in never actually believing I will be left on the road somewhere.. I have great family in whole and visit those I can all the time. I live in the biggest part of this house I signed for and built it by scratch. My money is not going into a nowhere rent situation bill and I have enough to save up and travel to places I want to go and see. Just hope i can find someone with the same traveling desire

Just know.. There is no "Standard" out there. and your not an outcast do to what your lacking, that others have been through. And the Sex thing depends apon the person.. My first time.. since so used to myself.. Last way to long lol. Pure logically being used to yourself. You probably will not get off your first time.. or it will be hard long thing to do.

 

Hmmm... The coffee shop idea isn't good? Man, I thought that was a rockin' idea! *snaps fingers* LOL I swear to god, I must come from like a twilight zone because everyone freakin' hangs out at coffee shops and meet new people where I come from(not telling where, sorry ), lol. In fact, the majority of my friends are those I met at my favorite coffee shop. But then when I go there, I don't just sit there and be quiet, I go up to people and strike up a conversation, be they the workers there or the customers. Of course, that's more or less how everyone else rolls there too, so I certainly haven't had the risk of looking weird for being the only one trying to talk to random people.

But I suppose it would be a little harder to do the same thing where I am right now(different country)...in a franchised coffee shop type setting at least. But then it isn't hard to meet people in general. What's hard is meeting the right kind of people for you. And to meet the right kind of people for you, you must meet people in general as a start.

You know what, though? What's the big deal about making an ass of yourself, anyway? EVERYONE of us makes an ass of ourselves from time to time. We're all humans, we do that. Plus, random people don't know you unless either you or they make an effort to change that, so who cares? If they aren't interested, then they'll soon forget about some random dude at a public place like a coffee shop(doesn't have to be coffee shops, it could be anywhere really). So you might as well stop worrying about those people. But if they ARE interested in getting to know you, then you wouldn't be a looking like a fool now would ya? Mind you, it IS fun to act like a complete idiot from time to time. It all depends on how you look at it, really.

In the meantime, why not actually STUDY sex while you wait for that special moment? Speaking from my own experience, this is a great idea because you tend to gain self confidence as you gain the knowledge on different aspects of sex. The internet is great for this because there's a shitload of information on there. You have to make sure the things you're learning are in fact reliable and accurate, though. You know there's just as much bullshit on the internet as there is accurate information. BUT, the good stuff IS out there. You'll most likely be jerking off a lot in the process by the way, but then that's also a part of the fun. And what fun it is! LOL

 

I can see where the coffee shop thing is a good idea.. Unfortunately its Dependant on area that you live in though.. My Case its in the northern states where its busy as hell.. We have all franchise stores and its the get in and get out mentality here. (Welcome to the corporate world ~)

Though my trips to the southern states have been eye opening with it being a better atmosphere of people in general.. Just never had that type of place to live in.

It's always been rush in and rush out ~ have 20 places to be at by yesteryear and the grind is so common that you have your days planned out exactly like it lol.

 

Good point. *sigh* I must say my hometown is definitely not busy... Well, it's still a pretty happening place depending on how you look at it, like, it's expanded so much in the last 20 years. But it's still not a huge city and I guess people must be that much more laid back because of it. It is common for some coffee shops there to have certain group of customers form a big circle(something like 15 people!) around an outside table or in the patio area. I've grown used to that but, when I think about it in an objective fashion, I can see it being a bit of a crazy phenomenon.

I guess one of the main factors is that people living in busy areas tend to take "mind your own business" concept very seriously. Rekno himself has said it before that he has no reason to talk to strangers. The greater the number of people who think this way in an environment, the lesser the chance of random interactions between people to take place in that particular environment. Conversely, people in my town would be more like, "well, we may have no reason to talk to strangers, but since they are there, we might as well talk to them just for the hell of it", lol.

Rekno, perhaps joining a circle of some sort may help nurture your social skills. Because, in such a setting, interaction with people becomes a necessity. Being a recluse could help you get in touch with your inner self which is healthy, but it could also keep you from interacting with other people face to face. If you're naturally a social person and haven't had the opportunity to talk to people recently, then getting back out there may be easy because you're already comfortable being around people to begin with. But if you're naturally a non-talkative person and would like to improve your social skills, then simply not having contact with other people while maintaining a negative mindset toward various aspects of life may be unhealthy in a long run. I turn into a recluse from time to time(mostly for work related reasons in my case) so I know this shit first hand.

 

I guess i could try to get into a "Circle" but that sounds awkward at best and i don't know how i would do it or what kind of circle i would get into, what do you mean by joining a "circle"?

 

You're absolutely right, "circle" sounds rather vague and ambiguous! lol. Well, I basically meant something sort of a group that is available to public. I remember seeing a bunch of fliers for various groups at a rec centre recruiting members to join. You might consider taking a look.

As to what kind of "circle" you should join... Well, that's for you to decide, really. You might go for something you know you like, or try something you've never done and are curious about.

 

i dunno man, i've never been an 18yo virgin. but i've moved around a lot and had to make new friends every 6 months for years and years. there was a while when i was just so not confident. it was completely unfounded insecurity too, because i'm the shiznt.

so here's what i learned. when nobody knows you, then you have to be ready to put yourself out there. some people will like you, some will hate you, and some people take a long time to decide. i met a cool group of friends at work. at first they didn't seem so cool, but i tried to look at them with fresh eyes every time we worked and eventually we became a tight group. we see each other at work, we see each other at the gym, we party it up together.

i like to meet new people all the time. but here's the thing. i want to see people at their best. so i like to meet people at the gym or at my cycling club. sometimes i go to the park or the coffee shop and bring my sketchpad and just draw people for a few hours. sometimes i ask the pretty girls if i can do a portrait real quick. i can usually get a free cup of coffee out of that and i learn their name and who they are.


i go to concerts and small shows on the weekends. even if no one wants to go with me. i party really hard and i feel like i own the venue/anyone at the venue is fair game for talking or dancing or hanging out afterwards. go crazy man, don't hold back, be wild, be free.


so thats what i do to meet people. but thats because i got over rejection a long time ago. i used to sell a lot of drugs and look like a total scumbag. so i would literally walk up to all types of people and try to sel them weed at all hours of the day in all types of places. talking to people always, talking to every girl, trying to get her to buy some weed, convince the kids at art school to smoke a blunt. the point is that i was out all the time talking and getting rejected. i stopped caring what others thought and just did my own thing . even though i stopped selling drugs and smoking i still have that "hey what it is" that essence that i'm just doing me and i don't give a fuck.

so go find your trial, go run the gauntlet and get over your shit so you can start doing you without prejudice.

 

You do have some points mmg and i appreciate your post, but i think just talking to people and selling them drugs is diffrent, i smoke weed and as of current i see no reason to stop. I don't really care what people think of me thats almost part of the reason i don't really associate with people is because i don't care anymore.

 

I mean like want to associate with people i guess even though that sounds kinda weird, it's just that people don't really look like they wanna talk ever if anyone can look like that i guess i could try and join a group but i dunno if iu have the time to do that but i suppose i can try to look into it. I like being social i just find it hard to engage in conversations with girls without feeling completley awkward and then i start to get embarassed and then from their i get angry because i think we can all agree no one likes being embarassed.

 

Boom. Pot, quite literally, is the one thing that led me to meet almost all of my friends. Question: this job you have, are you working with people your age? If so, ask them if they want to get together and smoke sometime, doesn't have to be girls, just people you don't know much about. If you're a fairly good looking individual, try to keep as care-free and non-violent as you can and people drift towards you.

Are you in college? If so, class is the place to meet people. Ask any question pertaining to the subject, even if you know the answer, and go from there, eventually bring up pot. If they like to smoke, offer to smoke them up! If not, move on! Its all the thought that goes into talking to girls that ruins people's chances.

What about this job you have? Are there chicks there? I work at a burrito place and after the first couple days I just used partying as a way to meet all the Front of the House chicks. Invited them to come drink at my house (for free of course) and the coitus came naturally, now we're all great friends.

Don't let it get you down man, that'll only make it harder. Keep your spirits high and just try to act as laid back as you can, ask a lot of questions and eventually try to smoke them up. They'll love you

 

lol i like your idea march of the meanies, only if the majority of people wanted to smoke pot then it could work, i don't go to school yet but am going to go next year, this job I have has nobody my age and absolutley no girls there, all the other technichians are guys in teir 40's, i do oil changes and change tires and crap, i guess i'll try and keep a laid back attitude, i think i already do have a laid back kinda attitude though, i'll try to be care free and non violent even though im not like randomly violent angry, noone really looks like they wanna talk to me even when i do see girls at work so it kinda makes me feel like i shouldn't go out of my way to talk to them if they don't talk to me and initiate the conversation.

 

Well, if you cant find it in yourself to be more outgoing or to find some local social group's with similar interests to your's, maybe you should take a vacation, go to Nevada, get a legal hooker with a health card and bust that nut once and for all?? It might make approaching women allot easier for you once you break that big V barrier.

 

Cause chicks suck dude. They almost never initiate conversation. If you go to the mall and randomly start talking to girls, I'd say a good, at least, 30% will be cool and at least respond. And thats just a terrible shot in the dark. A fun thing to do is to go to a public place where girls your age hang out, maybe bring a friend or something, separate and hunt. Start with relevant conversation, throw some funny in there, keep smooth, bring up pot, if they like to smoke tell them you'll smoke them up and you'll guaranteed have at least a hand full of people who'll be down. I love smoking with strangers .

Just get out there. Anywhere you go to meet people is better than your house

 

I am 19 and a virgin. I have no qualms with that at all. Its fine with me. I see people having sex early and suffering the consequences of it all the time. I decided when I was a kid to not have sex until I was out of my parents house. And that day is coming soon.............. and even when it does, I will not be running wild having sex with every chick I can get into my place. A lot of girls think its interesting for me to be a virgin and always joke around about how they would looooove to teach me the ropes if I wanted.

 

well i don't even care about getting my nut, i mean it would be nice obviously but it's not dragging me down it's just that i can't really talk to girls that are complete strangers.
I want a relationship more than sex but lets face it we all want sex, and even when i do manage to talk to girls conversations are short and go nowhere, i know your suppose to ask questions n shit but theirs only so much you can ask and then you might creep them out by asking to much, and then after i'va talked to them and asked a few questions when the conversation has like a silence in it i feel like a tool and pretty much stop talking to them. My family has even recently started asking me if im ever goin to get a girlfriend and sometimes they joke about my V card between themselves and sometimes with other people. This makes me so mad they don't even understand.

 

try eharmony