Working parents...hmm?

I have a question I can't ask to anyone in person...lol. My good friend is a stay at home mom. her husband makes under 40,000.Not alot to support 3 people. They live modestly, and my friend thinks nothing of it. She wants to be home with her son, and raise him. I should also note that they do enjoy yearly vacations. On the other side of the coin I know many working moms who love to complain how they "HAVE TO WORK" yet they are living in homes that are 300,000 plus, have designer everything etc. It makes me wonder how many married moms have to work TO KEEP THE WATER RUNNING, and how many have to work to KEEP UP WITH THE JONSES? I also wonder why someone would want children only to have them raised by a daycare worker. Let's face it the daycare worker will most likely hear the first words, see their 1st steps..etc.? I always wondered about this stuff, but it would be rude to ask someone. what do you all think?

 

Some parents need to work, thats just a fact of life. In my books 40, 000 a year is more than enough to support 3 people if you know how to manage your money.

 

i helped to raise my sisters boys w/ her working 12-14 hr shifts and i seen both her boys take their first step and say they first words. I called her up on the phone at work just so she can hear her sons say mama
when they could say wuv u i did that again. Being either a dual earner or single parent you have to make ends meet either way right? Whether or not they wear designer clothes nails done 200,000 house ? The kids ARE under that roof ? Kids ARE being fed? Bills ARE being paid? And on top of that the designer clothes makes the kids, and parents happy - would you like to wear sweats to work? or bummy running shoes? It makes your self worth go up as well as your self image . Its time to think about positive things here. Money can only go so far but if you budget properly you can do a heck of a lot more with it.

 

I make way less than 30k and am the only one working right now. we seem comfortable. its not that hard.

525 rent
100 electric
100 gas (average. it goes up and down)
30 water
30 internet
god knows how much on my 3 cars
food gets paid for by mom but if she cant do it i would qualify for food stamps anyway
thats 800 a month i neeed for bills and suuch
9600 a year is what i need any extra goes toward cars and beer and clothes and weed and thrift store shopping sprees

 

I don't want kids , but was just making an observation. Anyway, rent in NJ (to live someplace clean and quiet is at least $900. And good for you that your mom is able to help with food.

 

* I should mention that rent often includes gas though!

 

i think 40,000 is enough to support 3 people...
i don't know if it varies in area but if she needs help financially with her child, she can get wick. other than that i feel like that is moderately a normal salary... we make less in my home with 4 people.

 

different people have different priorities.. if someone is content with little then good for them.. if someone wants expensive stuff and wants to make the sacrifices for it, then good for them too. if someone is complaining about working so much just to keep up with the joneses, well that just tells you where their priorities are. if they dont want to work and dont have to work, but are working and complaining about it, well they are making their own decisions and it seems silly to complain about.
my kids were never in daycare but i do work part time. my husband works during the day and i work at night/ on weekends. we could get by if i didnt work but it's nice to have a little bit of extra income and it's nice to get out of the house too.

 

Some people make lifestyle choices pre-having children and "burden" themselves with loans and mortgages. Once signed, they're not to easy to get out of, without some blue sky thinking. You may be right that some people do not need to work, they are making a choice, but they may not be able to see that because of the way they've always viewed life.

Not a straightforward one.

 

I am the sole worker in my household. I make well under 40,000 a year and support my wife and three children. Sometimes it gets tricky, but it just means you can't be lazy. We used cloth diapers on all three of the kids, breast fed, don't buy prepackaged food. do an initial investment in some basic supplies. Make bread from scratch instead of buying it by the loaf. Instead of buying lunch meat, buy the whole ham or whatever and slice it your self. Most of what we enjoy doing as a family doesn't cost hardly anything at all. Granted we don't live like royalty, but we are happy. It's all a matter of not living beyond you means. I pay for everything in cash, don't even own a credit card. If I can't afford to buy it, I don't really need it. You just have to be sure to save a bit of money in the bank or under you mattress or whatever in case of emergency. Other than standard living bills, the only other bill I have are my student loans.

I refuse to send my children to daycare. I figure I can screw them up just fine on my own, I don't need help. The biggest issues that most stay at home parent seem to have is that they feel like they are always stuck with the kids. They working parent will work their ass off all day and usually don't seem to want to do anything but plop down in front of the tube. I know this isn't the case with everyone, but it happens a lot. I always make sure to help out. No matter how tired I may be after work, I always want to spend time with my family. They are the reason I do the thing I do. They are why I work, and go to school, and live in a house and drive a car etc.

 

I dont think it is right to judge. I always feel like I don't know what goes on in other people's houses, so I can't say that they are doing things to keep up with the jones's.

I do know that rent is not that cheap everywhere. We pay almost $1400 a month for rent here for a small house. We could live in an apartment here for about $1000 a month. For us, the little bit more is worth it. My children all share a room, use cloth diapers, are breastfed, wear hand-me-downs, and we eat out very little. We also drive cars that are paid for. I feel very lucky that I get to stay home with my children. I never thought I would want to be with them, as I did enjoy working, but once they were here, I couldn't leave them. I know some people feel better when they are working and get the break away from the kids. For a mom that stays at home, there are never any breaks, so it can be quite challenging and some personalities may not be able to handle it. Also, I feel guilty often that I am not helping out financially, while my husband is trying to figure out how to make ends meet. I took a part-time job where I can bring my girls along during the day just to bring in a little (very little) bit of money and not be away from my kids. I love to be with them and feel very anxious if I have to leave them even for a while. But I know others do not feel like that. I have friends that cannot wait for their kids to go to school, or even to move out (like another thread talked about). I don't feel like that, I would keep them small forever if I could and do not expect them to leave home the moment they turn 18. I guess my point is that there are different strokes for different folks...and that's what makes the world turn and because I get to stay home with my kids, it does not make me any better.

 

A lot of people work because they do not find fulfillment sitting at home and leeching off of a spouse. A lot of women enjoy having their own money and their own say in how a household is run. Studies have shown that children who spend a lot of time in daycare are no worse off, but perhaps better! They are better socialized and form better bonds with people as a result, and are more resilient and less upset by change.

Some women, I am sure, are content with the traditional man/women roles. It's a matter of preference. There is no algorithm to ensure happiness to all women.

 

Bullshit.

Wonder why there are so many problems with today's youth? I don't wonder. It's called lack of parental involvement.

 

Damn right! Where the hell would someone get a statistic that says that a child did better without being around their parents is absolute bullshit.

 

I can't imagine how screwed up I'd be if my mom wasn't home waiting everyday after school. I WAS HER JOB...she always asked about my day, fed me a snack and had time to listen. I'm sure many people with working parents turn out fine...but having a parent home with me really enriched my childhood.

 

sometimes you can have too much parental involvement.

 

I'm a stay at home mom and my husband only makes 26,000 a year for a 4 person family, we struggle all the time, but it's all about how you manage your money!

 

It depends if you are more material-centered, I think.

Also, parental involvement is a balance, and I think it is worse to be not involved than really involved. It seems to me, like why would anyone have kids if you weren't going to put your heart and soul into them...so what are they to you then, pets??

 

Great topic... Honestly. I'm A mom. I'm 21. I'm married also. I work from home as cookbook writer and I'm a graphic designer. My son will be 1 next week. I have been working from home from years. Even went to college to get my 2 degrees online. I don't work to make myself look all fancy. In fact we are even on food stamps.. because my husband JUST lost his job. I work because I would go crazy if I didn't write all these recipes down.. lol.. I love what I do. I can take care of my baby and see him grow up while still being a business woman.
Being a mom is my main job.. however once he gets older he will go to preschool and make friends.

 

Both my parents worked full-time jobs and I was always at daycare. I'm a perfectly normal person with a college degree. I think daycare promotes responsibility and social skills. Of course, parents have to do their research before sending their children. The cost of living varies from one place to another in the USA. Where I live rent costs $900-$1200 and food is getting more and more expensive. When I do decide to have children my job provides long maternity leave and I have summers off.