I've been with this guy for almost a year. We fell for each other pretty quickly. A few months ago I became pregnant with his kid. I'm 19, he's 26. I'm moving in with him in a few months. My family keeps asking me when we are going to get married. I keep telling them we're putting it off because it costs money to get married (ring, wedding). The truth is, he doesn't want to get married. He said we argue too much, and haven't been together long enough. I thought being in love and having a kid together was a good enough reason to make it an official family. I guess not? Anyway, now I'm all depressed and feel like I'm not good enough. I especially feel like a fool for admitting to him that I wanted to get married, then being rejected. How should I feel? What should I do?
well You had his kid. Marriage should wait since a child is a lot of money alone. Your parents shouldnt keep asking you about that, I understand if they think if thats the "right" way but to your guy it isnt. He says you guys argue too much but why are yu about to live together? Thats gonna worsen it. You give it time, its only a year, see how everything goes then listen to your instincts and how you change well or not Keep in mind you guys are STILL a family, married or not
Just because he doesn't want to get married doesn't mean you aren't good enough!! You have only been together for a year. Do you want to get married because you want to be with him forever, or because of the baby and your family pressuring you to make it feel like a real family? I don't think you'll be happy if it is the latter. Seems like everything has been rushed. I know that can't be helped ith the baby and whatever, but do you really feel you want to be with this guy for the rest of your life? Forget the kid. Forget your parents. Is this bloke what you really want? You shouldn't get married if it is just to make it a 'family'. Marriage is about love. Making a promise to share yourselves for the rest of your life. You have only been together for a year. That is nothing compared to the many many years of your life. Take things slow. If it doesn't work out, fine. If it does, cool. But I don't think you'll be happy if you rush in to this. Really think if this is the guy for you. I hope you make the right decision.
how long into the relationship did you get pregnant? id wait for a little. whats the rush other than your parents asking you? after you and him move in together, try not to fight with him even if you think its his fault. try to let some things go and then maybe after a little time he will see how wonderful you esp being a mother to the child. maybe he will eat that up! try to enjoy everything you can. you have your whole rest of your life to plan a wedding. whats left to do after marriage? live!
I encourage you to stick with the relationship and try to make it work. You say that your partner doesn't want to get married because you argue too much. Have you given some thought to why you agrue? I would start there and try to stop doing what makes you two agrue. It may mean some compromise on you part, but it's worth a try. I was in a relationship where we agrued a lot (it was my wife who started all of the agruments). I figured out that it's not worth the push-back (agruing back). When I met my second wife, I decided that I would not get into that bind again, so I became mellower (and started to share some of the household chores).
