Answer me this

Discussion in 'Politics' started by element7, Nov 15, 2004.

  1. element7

    element7 Random fool

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    Got this in an email.

    Dear President Bush,

    Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's law. I have
    learned a great deal from you and try to share that knowledge with as many
    people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for
    example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be
    an abomination. End of debate.

    I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of
    God's Laws and how to follow them:

    1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female,
    provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine
    claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not to Canadians. Can you
    clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

    2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
    21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

    3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
    period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I
    tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

    4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
    pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They
    claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

    5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
    clearly states that he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to
    kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

    6. A friend of mine feels that, even though eating shellfish is an
    abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I
    don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there "degrees" of abomination?

    7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
    defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
    vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

    8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
    around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.
    19:27. How should they die?

    9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
    unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

    10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different
    crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two
    different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse
    and
    blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of
    getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev. 24:10-16)? Couldn't we
    just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people
    who sleep with their in-laws (Lev. 20:14)?

    I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy
    considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

    Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. :D
     
  2. LaurelBayTree

    LaurelBayTree Senior Member

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    LOL This is really funny! Think it would be wise to send it?
     
  3. randy

    randy Member

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    damn i have sinned alot, i had no idea! damn! :O
     
  4. Elle

    Elle Senior Member

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    That was funny:p
     
  5. HuckFinn

    HuckFinn Senior Member

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    Of course, if people were seriously interested in understanding the relevance of the Mosaic Law today, they could try reading the New Testament. What a concept!
     
  6. phillyrp314

    phillyrp314 Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

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    Hahaha...silly fundy. Most people aren't interested in studying the relevance of these laws today because they have no relevance. Is it that hard to understand that some people don't want age-old fictional texts telling them how to live their lives, let alone telling a country how to live their lives? Just because you believe your way is better does not make it so.

    Ahhh...the irony. Now that's a concept. Unless you don't get it. Then it's just plain ignorance.
     
  7. Shane99X

    Shane99X Senior Member

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    Isn't this a take on that infamous "Dear Dr. Laura" letter?

    funny but not original.
     
  8. Co0kiezGurl

    Co0kiezGurl Banned

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    Yeah i've seen it a million times
     
  9. element7

    element7 Random fool

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    What's the Dear Dr. Laura letter?
     
  10. Angel_Headed_Hipster

    Angel_Headed_Hipster Senior Member

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    Uhh, if my memory serves me she is like some church lady who has a radio show or something...and that was a letter to her...i think...

    Peace and Love,
    Dan
     
  11. Hippievixen

    Hippievixen Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    All of those verses are from the Old Testament...

    If you are a New Testament Christian, it wouldn't apply.
     
  12. homebudz

    homebudz Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

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    Would that be like,"new and improved"?
     
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