Constipation...The Dreaded Shit

I have shit two days in a row! its absolutely incredible. It was still a huge shit but wasnt extra round so didnt hurt really but I still bleed alot because I think it reopened the wounds from my shit yesterday. If im lucky maybe ill shit tomorrow. If I shit tomorrow it would be insane Honestly I dont remember the last time I shit two days in a row. Well over a year.

 

Thank you for the good thread Source. I'm most def getting my ass some metamucil.

PLUR

 

Apple juice is good. Apple's keep ya regular, hence the saying "An apple a day keeps the doctor away"

 

i have diareha all the time except when i take opiates, it sucks.

 

No problem. youre ass will be thankful once you start taking the metamucil. Its so ridiculous how backed up the shit can get in your body.

Everyone has seen trainspotting right? The part at the beginning where he quits and hes like "heroin makes you constipated. the heroin from my last shot has worn off and the sepositries have yet to take affect. I was no longer constipated." and he runs to shit. And he sits down and immediately takes a shit and has like a big smile on his face.

Its like no dude. thats not how it works. He would be crying and the shit would not have come out right away because it would be so fat it could barely make its way out. Believe me I know. God I hate thinking about those shit I took that made me cry. sitting on the toilet having my ass stretch and stretch just saying crying to myslef "no no no I dont want to nooooo oh my god there it goes ooowwwwwwwwwww noooo oh my godddd sniffle sniffleeee." I never want to do that shit again. And then you go to flush the toilet and your shit is so huge it wont go down and it clogs the toilet when it does. god fuck that shit.

 

man funny thread but hell yea. 100% true. railing 80s all day, im almost always scared when i have to shit every 3 days lol. and u know what fucking comes out. a train. and it takes you a damn hour to get it out. scary stuff. i know ppl who friggin bleed lol.

 

Haha I always skip through the bit where he's taking the shit I watch the bit up until he enters "the worst toilet in scotland" skip a bit and watch again where he gets sucked into the toilet into that sea scape lol. The bit in the middle is enough to put you off lunch haha!

 

I pretty much bleed everytime I shit. It sucks.

 

Dont mean to drag out an old thread but just had to share...

Oh man, some of you guys/gals are hilarious. Being a long term opiate abu.... I mean user, I can TOTALLY relate with pushing the milk dud roll of salami so big that I have to bite down on a towel from the pain.

Well I just got off the crapper after my first NON painful dump in over a year! I've tried a lot of laxitives (I just cant do the enema thing, but hey, thats me) and almost all of them seem to work, but the cramping I get in my stomache is almost as bad as squeezin one out.

Yesterday, my wife came back from the grocery store and said she had seen a different brand laxitive then she always had seen before, so she picked up a box and that maybe I should give it a try. The 1rst thought to mind was that its going to cause the same bullshit cramping. But on the box it said ''Works Gently, Works Overnight'' so I figured fuck it, I'll swallow one right before bed time and not to be surprised when I'm awakened by the WWIII going on in my gut. Well to my surprise... NO CRAMPING and I slept great (thank you valium).

So off to work I go, stop at my favorite coffee spot for a cup of joe, light a smoke, have a few sips and uh-oh, I feel one comin on! I race home in nervousness that I'll be biting on a towel again. Get home, drop the drawers, have a seat and then to my surprise it came out in a nice, long, smooth, turd!!!! (Sorry for being so descriptive) I almost cried from the pure joy that filled me.

The stuff I used was called ''Senokot-S'' I think it was $2.99 for 10 tablets. Box looks like this but a 10 count...



Anyways, just had to share my poop story with you all that battle the same as me. Shall your next session at the throne be as painless as mine was, good luck everyone and Happy Holidays!!:xmastree:

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You guys think you've got it bad? Imagine going through all the above with inflamed hemorrhoids. I swear to God I quit eating for 3 days once because I was so afraid to shit. That's something, when a fear of shitting can override a basic survival instinct like eating. It hurts so bad you take more pain killers to help with that pain, and it just constipates you more. It reminds me of that movie "Dream Catcher" by Stephen King. You know, the one where the little alien creatures incubate in a person's insides and then force their way out the victim's asshole when they're the size of Iguana's, all bloody and shit? That's what it's like with hemorrhoids. My solution was to eat a lot of oatmeal, and apples, and whole grain bread and pasta. It's not 100%, but so far I've managed to avoid getting addicted to laxatives. My grandmother got addicted to Ex-Lax, and by the time she died she was taking like 50 a day.

 

so update:

My shitting hasnt gotten to much more regular but when I do shit the metamucil makes it so that the shit is soft enough that it doesnt hurt to bad most of the time. So even if it has been awhile and Im scared then I go it hurts a little but nothing like it used to be.

 

I may try Metamucil again. I remember a long time ago I developed a bowel obstruction, and it hurt so bad I thought I had appendicitis. It was weird, because I had been shitting, although not very much for about 2 weeks. And I know for a fact it was not opiate related. All I was doing was smoking weed and drinking brew. Anyway, I went to the doctor, who told me it was a bowel obstruction, and to take Metamucil. It was sort of gross, but I took it religiously for about 3 days, and then wham! Oh, blessed relief! I got up and looked down at the toilet and saw something that I couldn't believe came out of my ass. It looked like something that came out of a Rhino. I had to flush 3 times to completely get rid of it. So yeah, maybe I'll try it again, if only 2-3 times per week.

 

one time I was in jail and ate like a whole jar of peanut butter a day with cookies and got so fuckin constipated that I got sick cuz I couldnt take a shit it was fuckin terrible.

 

if you're like me you don't have this problem, because I am a tank. No Opes? DOUBLE PLUS UNGOOD. Imodium and prep H. coffee makes your head feel better. Bowels, not so much.

 

ok i have to type this. i figured out how to bare the shits! lolz. you push slowly and clench so it breaks and falls so your technically cutting it into peices everytime. and you can physically manipulate the shit to be smaller if you add pressure to where your tailbone is, you can feel it and push to make it thinner lol. just sayin. now i can always get through it. might be nasty but im not gonna push hard and bleed ever again. i dont dread my shits anyymore! yay.

 

Try to remember and shit everyday, set an alarm if you have to.

 

What good is an alarm gonna do if your intestines are packed with concrete?

 

Drink Prune juice...

 

this shit makes me laugh, youre discussing the best technique to take a shit. Just take less you addicted retards.

Opiates are good, but not worth my ass bleeding....

 

thank you!rettyplease: