Weird That Straight Guy Stands Up For Gay Rights?

And there it is again, you have to verbally distance your self.


I get what Shale is saying, civil / legal rights, yeah sure, of course, we should all be for that.

But "acceptance" is another seperate issue.

Us and the girls, we hear you having to distance yourself all the time, and its going to have the opposite effect you think it does. For we know, the straightest of straight guys are the "straight" ones most comfortable around us, and thus they are the ones the girls most want to marry. The ones smart enough to keep their mouth shut

Acceptance, isnt about accepting us, it never was, its accepting just how big a chunk of the population (either gender) that say one thing in public, but then come at us when no one else is watching.

Notice how the talk is always about Gay or Straight, no one ever talks about whats in between.

What about Bi marriage rights? lets fight for acceptance of that, even though most of the time the partner has gone 10 / 20 years with no clue

 

I love going to gay rights parades and cheering them on as they dance past

Plus they give out free clit kits and condoms so thats cool

 

Well Vanilla, true, so instead of saying that I fight for gay rights, I should have said that I stand up for LGBT rights, which covers a much broader spectrum.

Hehe, free condoms I don't often pass that out to be honest, just in case. Or I just take samples and marvel at the looks of awkwardness on my parents face when I give THEM the samples, lol

L_S

 

OK, I think you have taken this simple assertion of a young man, who if he has any gay leanings may have yet to discover them, but who does want to stand up for the rights of gay ppl and extrapolated something much more into it.

Of course we who have been in the gay sphere longer are more jaded as to what really lurks in the hearts of men. However, even I was surprised at the number of str8 men who suck cock and it is an ongoing debate in itself. I wrote an article about it a few years back and hope it fits in this post.
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Straight Men Cruising?
by Rob Boyte
January 29, 2005

In the Fall 2002 issue of The Naturist Gay-zette, a nationally distributed gay nudist magazine, there was a headline "Sex on the beach is a people problem." There were some quotes attributed to a local nudist rights advocate from Haulover Beach that I thought should bear more scrutiny. He was quoted as saying "Most men that engage in inappropriate behavior, in public parks, are married men. They are the ones that will haunt the restrooms and try to engage in inappropriate behavior in front of other men they believe are gay."

I challenged this statement because there was no reference cited to corroborate it, and it sounded like so much politically correct wishful thinking. Initially, I couldn't find anything to refute his statement, but I also couldn't find anything to substantiate it either. Due to the nature of closeting, we may never know how many people are gay. The figure is between 2 percent and 10 percent, a large spread that negates any serious demographic study. Compound that secrecy with ambiguous sexuality, mutating sexuality, bisexuality and self-identification which may differ from actual sexual practice, and you just can't get an accurate figure on who is gay and who is straight.

However, the statement was simply that the busted men were married. I was later informed by the nudist activist that he got his information from a member of the South Beach Business Council, a gay chamber of commerce and merchants group. According to him, that group was instrumental in getting the authorities to curtail the heavy cruising at Flamingo Park on South Beach, and the group's member he spoke with gave him the figure that 80 percent of those arrested were married men.

Of course, I was suspicious of the figures given by someone with a vested interest in taking the negative spotlight off of gay men. The editor of the Naturist Gay-zette also supported that figure with information he received from representatives of two nude beach groups from the Northeastern U.S. He said they had gone over park rangers' records and found that over 80 percent of those cited or arrested for sexual behavior were married men with families.

Additional anecdotal information came by way of a 1998 news report I found on the Net. It was by Mike Wendland who covers the Internet for NBC-TV Newschannel stations. His piece was about a website devoted to chronicling places where men can go to have anonymous sex. I wouldn't doubt that Haulover was listed on such a site, but this article concentrated on the shopping malls listed and the impact it had on children using these restrooms. State police in the Detroit metro area noted there were 26 men arrested that year for illicit sex in restrooms, including professionals, educators, factory workers and even a local clergyman. The article said, "Most of the men caught engaging in such activity are married."

Brings to mind our own scandalous bust in March 2001, when local politician, Willie Logan, was allegedly caught masturbating in a public restroom at the Haulover Park Golf Course. Logan, married with a couple of kids, finally beat that arrest by making the cops look like voyeurs for spying on him thru a glory hole in what should have reasonably been considered a private act in a toilet stall. But, during this media circus, how many of us were wondering if Willie was a closet case, another nice looking local politician to fantasize about getting it on with.

My thoughts were that marriage is not necessarily an indicator of sexual orientation. While there may be many married men cruising restrooms, they may be bisexual or even gay. Many gay men of my generation, due to an oppressive society, elected to marry and tried to be straight. A lot of them gave it up, which is why so many of my contemporaries, totally homosexual men, have children and grandchildren now.

While I don't get off on anonymous sex or cruising, and like to do guys I know in the privacy of someone's home, from my anecdotal experience, a lot of gay men that I have been with talk of their cruising and having anonymous sex with other men in parks and restrooms and even some notorious sleazy bars. It is a guy thing primarily, and a gay guy thing specifically.

In the article in Naturist Gay-zette, the nudist activist may have had the best of intentions when he rebutted the comments about gay men being undesirables, and that the assumption of gay cruising "is inaccurate at best and biased and offensive to gay men," but the fact is that gay men cruise restrooms for anonymous sex. Not all gay men do it, and maybe not even most gay men do it, but many do and it has long been associated with gay sexual practice. Even the word "cruiser" was wrested from the spunky mouths of 19th century het prostitutes and is now the 20th century term for seeking gay sex partners.

However, what many people have not been aware of (including myself) is the large number of straight men out there (besides the cops), cruising for anonymous gay sex. Gay historian, David Bianco, in an October 1999 article on "The history of cruising," points out that the art of cruising has been recorded since about year one AD by the Roman poet, and sex writer, Ovid. As early as 1896, the public facilities in Manhattan's Battery Park and City Hall Park were associated with homosexual activity. Historians note that the public facilities, (toilet room or t-room) gave gay men a measure of privacy. But, Bianco writes, "tearooms were also frequented by other classes. The washrooms of New York's subway system were 'the meeting place for everyone,' as one man put it. A businessman on his way home to his wife and children in one of the outer boroughs could engage in quick sex at the end of the workday but still not identify as gay."

This coincides with a February 2001 article titled "Speaking of Public Sex," by Simon Sheppard, co-editor of Rough Stuff: Tales of Gay Men, Sex, and Power. Sheppard writes that, "many of the guys who cruise public restrooms, or 'tea rooms,' aren't even gay identified. They may be married guys in search of anonymous relief."

Dan Savage, in his May 17, 2002 column Savage Love, explored the practice of straight identified men who desire to perform oral sex on other men. Dan noted that there seems to be a lot of straight men who desire sex with other men and referred to the book Sex in America, based on a groundbreaking sex study conducted by the University of Chicago in 1992. That study's findings were that while just 2.8 percent of American men identified as gay, almost 10 percent of men have had homosexual experiences after puberty, which means that 7 percent of "straight" men in America have engaged in oral sex with men.

While 7 percent of the straight male population does not seem large, the actual number it represents is millions of men. Millions of horny, lusty, oversexed, straight guys lurking around the smelly restrooms and condom-trashed parks, looking to suck on some of that larger than average gay ... Oh, I digress! Millions of straight men could easily account for that unbelievable number of 80 percent of men who get busted for cruising the public restrooms are actually married. It also reaffirms the Camille Paglia truism that "gay men and straight men have much more in common than do gay men with Lesbians or straight men with straight women." It's a guy thing, and it's been that way ever since they invented tearooms.

 

i think you're completely overreacting. in my opinion it adds an extra dimension to his claim. now i know that he's a straight guy and OK with gay ppl and concerned about our rights. do you think only us gay people have the privilege to mention our sexuality w/o giving off an impression of trying to hide something?

and bi marriage rights are irrelevant to the discussion because the right to marry is discriminated on the basis of gender not sexuality. a gay guy can still marry a woman. and if a bi wants to marry a man he is denied because it's a man he wants to marry and not the fact that he's bisexual.

 

its the way it should be.....me too

 

It's irrelevant???

My main point is that what its ALL about.

If they dont ever tell the partner, and thus no one else, then the rest of society has no clue as to how many married people are actively bi, and we get blamed for all the shit they do

I get what you are saying about a man not being able to marry a man, and which section of the community is most against that?, its not all "straight" people, only certain ones, and what do they all have in common.......

 

Its not wierd my fat freind shaun (who is straight) went to a gay pride fair and he said it was funny, I didn't go myself because I had to go to my Mums party (god i miss her) and that I'm not a big fan of the were here were queer pride shit.
Gay rights? fuck yes.
Gay pride? fuck no.

 

Definately not weird, Im straight (for the most part ) and I stand up for gay rights all the time.

 

I think it's important that we have allies that stand up for the gay community. You can't get equality if you don't build bridges. Some may be more reactionary, but... reactionary politics wins nothing. The more straight people who recognize us as citizens, the better off we will be as far as getting equality.

 

I'm straight, and I completely support the gay community.
Personally, I don't understand how a government can predetermine who you marry =\.

 

weird? no. awesome? YES.

i agree, we need like 6 billion more people like you, for sure.

(i'm not male nor am i gay, i'm bi, but still...)

 

I'm the same way as you man. I get seriously pissed off when anti-gay right people start their ignorant bullshit.

So no, your not weird at all. Either am I.

 

What do you think of "Don't Ask / Don't Tell"?

 

Of course its not wierd to see an injustice being done to a group or even 1 person- which fires you up so much you feel the need to stand beside them and show your support. Its a comendable trait*

Your compassion and attitudes toward people who see thier lives fucked with everyday- either by an ignorant society or an ignorant gov,t ,will make you a better person going forward in life as you meet more and more people who lack the tolerlance of diversity.

To accept a lifesytle without making silly or unfair judgements (as long as no-one is hurt) is something Ive always tried to teach my kids .I think many of us tried to get this point across back in the old days**

you dont have to stand tall-but you really should stand,
regards,JJack

 

Weird? Of course not!

I'm not an animal and still stand up for animal rights, I'm not a woman (nor am I straight) and still stand up for the legalization of abortion and I don't live in an underdeveloped country in Africa/Asia/etc. and still worry a lot about those populations (even though those populations probably see gays as abominations and would have us impaled as soon as they found out about our sexual orientation).

 

Doesn't that contradict itself. You spend your life trying to become accepted by the world, to live a harmonious and liberal life

then when you achieve it, realise you shouldn't be allowed to be happy with what you achieved, and you should be ashamed of yourself. How can a person be entitled to rights but not be proud of them?

I don't find it weird, different strokes for different folks. I am not an environmentalist but I don't agree with much of the unnecessary global pollution.

 

No. It's no more "weird", than white people standing against racism. If a white person can stand up for a black person's rights, how is that any less "weird" than a straight person standing up for gay rights? The only people who would think that, is homphobes. And you shouldnt take any notice of them.

You may as well ask if someone standing up for the rights of any minority group who are different to themselves is weird. Im not a transsexual, but I stand up for trans rights. Im not male, or gay, but I stand up for gay rights. As someone else said, Im not an animal and I stand up for animal rights. There's nothing weird about any of those things.

 

^^^

Yes, better point, or more simply translate the thread title to a different minority:

"Weird that a white guys stands up for black rights?"

Sounds like a stupid question nowadays, of course the difference being that white guy doesnt have to worry about people thinking he might be black

 

That's true. There's nothing weird about a straight guy standing up for gay rights. However, lots of straight guys are paranoid that people will start thinking they're gay if they stand up for gays. And there are very narrow minded idiots that do think fighting for gay rights by default, makes you gay.