It's like a deep, stomach-wrenching pain.

I'm so love-sick it's absolutely pathetic.
It's a beautiful thing that someone can feel so much to be physically sick to their stomach, however, while it may be a beautiful thing, it is also one of the most difficult, painful feelings to endure.

It began with a boy, as it always does.
This boy is so incredibly beautiful inside and out and my desire to be near him is overpowering.
We share the same views on life and love and we have similar dreams and interests in life. We bond on a level that is so high above any other boy I've bonded with before.
We left each other on a good note but now that we're apart, all I can do with myself is cry and feel empty and I find myself constantly searching for people around me to fill the void.. but it's never enough.

I'm away at school.. 5 hours away to be exact and apparently it's customary for every great couple to break things off before school. Why is that? It's not what I wanted.
To this day I still don't know how he felt about everything... I vaguely do but we haven't gone in depth with the conversation. I don't want to ask him because I want him to come to me with his feelings without having me pry.

My friends all tell me I'll get over things soon enough... After all, I attend a University of about 45,000 students, you'd think I would be over everything by now. But that just doesn't seem to be the case.

My feelings will not subside... does anyone know how to deal with a distressed heart? Mine is constantly throbbing and I need some advice on what to do...

 

It's a shame that these days people are too worried about playing the game right that they can't be open and honest with one another, for fear that they might break one of "the rules", and scare the other off.

I've always believed in honesty, complete, naked honesty. Not to hurt, but to remove the obstacles to communication. If you can't talk things out, your relationship is going nowhere, and very possibly it's all built on fantasy, rather than reality. Your thoughts and feelings are only your own, until you share them. It's a risk, but a healthy person takes informed risks all the time, to bridge the gap between oneself and a distant other. It's cyclic, in that the need to risk in communication repeats itself every so often.

If a relationship is built on honesty, what harm could there be?

If not, what kind of relationship is it, anyway?

Learning to communicate is a life-long pursuit, and worthy of the effort. It improves the self, the relationship, and society as a whole.

Oh, and that pain in your stomach? Have something nutritious to eat.

added thought: by the way, do you know what it means to "romanticize" a relationship? It means that you WANT TO BELIEVE so much in this relationship, that you avoid risking an open and honest communication. The relationship becomes your fantasy, lacking in the communication that would make it, potentially, a reality.

 

understandable... i also didn't mention that he's in Cuba for the week with his roommate who is Cuban visiting his roommate's family.

I just want to know how to cure this undying, ever-growing pit in my stomach. It's ripping me apart.

 

Like the previous poster has noted, the only way to fill or "fix" this void is to be honest with your love.

 

well, he's home from Cuba, he has been for about a week.
he texted me as soon as he was home and we talked a bit but things were still very unstable and unsure

so i called him and explained EVERYTHING and he felt the same and things turned out perfectly he had just been feeling the same way i had about talking about it and such
who knew!

tomorrow actually im hoppin on a 3 hour bus ride to NY and we're spending the weekend together then it will be his turn to visit me next and so on and so forth

sooooo worth it to talk it all out. soo much love!

 

"i_got_life"...I think what your problem is...is that you don't have a life.

How do you overcome this "distressed heart"? Distraction. You need to work on yourself, work on your life...work on having a life for yourself. Concentrate on school, on work, on bettering yourself, on your future, your goals, your aspirations...work toward them. If you concentrate on making yourself a better person and living the life that you want to live, you won't need to feel like someone else has to be there to fulfill you.

But in the mean while, you can talk to him about your feelings of course, but PLEASE don't let this guy be the main focus of your life. You can't let your world revolve around some guy. The only "guy" or "girl" that your life should revolve around is if you have children someday. Other than that, focus on your own life and yourself.

 

I'm actually feeling the same way right now. I fell completely in love with the most amazing girl I've ever met over the summer. I had never felt so deeply in love with someone before her, she was just perfect for me in every way. She had to go back to school in Europe and although we talk almost every day it's killing me knowing how hard it will be to make this relationship work and that I might never even see her again. Even though I knew from the start she would have to go it still hurts. I guess I'm just very naive and inexperienced about all this (we both lost our virginity to each other) but I can't get over her. I might never meet a girl like her again.

I feel better now having gotten this out there. Hope I didn't hijack your thread too badly but you should know you're not the only one feeling this way.