I was diagnosed with PTSD awhile ago.. I was in a really severe car accident that resulted in me having brain damage. I have epilepsy now. It also caused a lot of other issues. The guy driving was my ex-boyfriend.. who has also caused a lot of issues in my life. The wreck wasn't his fault, but we still don't get along now. He used to always date me for awhile.. then leave me when he wanted.. and then I finally learned my lesson and got away for good. We were on and off for 5 years.. I got pregnant when I was 16 but lost the baby because I have an auto-immune disease - lupus. All this plays a heavy toll of my life.. but I deal suprisingly well. The thing is - I don't deal in my dreams.. rather nightmares. I am completely over my ex boyfriend in the daytime. In fact, I never think of him. It's really strange... It's been nearly two years since we broke up. So I'm not messing around.. I really am doing fine. I've been in other relationships and things and haven't had any thoughts of him. I'm completely fine during the day.. (except on a day like this after a horrid night) It's just at night, he haunts me. As does the accident. It's horrible. I have the most vivid dreams, about him, and his family (who was pretty horrid to me.) An example of a dream... Last night, his mom was driving a car insanely recklessly and was about to crash. Every time I close my eyes I can feel that feeling, that about to crash feeling... The loss of control. It's so awful. I don't even know how to describe it really. It all makes me feel like I'm loosing my mind. I hate having these flashbacks to the nightmares. I hate them waking me up and keeping me up and I just hate them haunting me! I REALLY do not want to have to go back to a psychologist. I was in a lot councling after the accident and then more about 8 months ago and man I do not wanna deal with that again.. Anyway I can deal with this and stop these nightmares on my own???
Perhaps the best thing you can look into is lucid dreaming. That's the kind of dream where you know you are dreaming and you control what happens in the dream. It isn't easy; I know I certainly haven't mastered it.
Hi bluedragonfly, here is another suggestion. Of all dreams, nightmares may be the ones with the greatest potential of self growth, as you are confronting issues that you no longer hide or ignore. And so, it does not really matter if you feel like you are done with the issue (in your waking life). Something's obviously stronger than your ratio, and to see it is what the dreams ask. The first step would be to acknowledge them as gift (medicine), or places of transformation, instead of wanting them to stop. They are literally ment to wake you up - even from the state we usually call awake when walking in plain daylight with eyes wide open. Just consider which part of you is still asleep and why you seek to wake. Sometimes we are so attached to the the victim role and the drama that we forget it's a trap. Perception may get customized by this society's needs for pidgeon holes in order to hide a deeper truth. The deeper truth is that you are the one in charge of anything that happens to you, and of the changes that follow. And now it's like you step out of such patterns as you claim your own power to heal and be more whole inside, through your dreaming. And maybe then you find the fear is nothing but a watch dog sitting on the threshold. How far do you want to reach out ? So just try and change your view, and make the toll a blessing. Imagine all the people who are involved come to help you see what you already See, like reflections, on your own road to a higher goal. And just turn tables ... haunt your own self ... make the dreams your wonderful assistants ... include the love, and the humour that is yours. Just thoughts ! Thank you for sharing.
