Why children?

I would like to hear some of your thoughts on the idea of bringing a child into the world, I personally have never felt the urge to have children and In all likelihood probably never will.

Are there any members who feel a primal need to reproduce, and if so can you go into detail as to why if it's not to much trouble?

And although I'm sure the distinction is obvious for most readers I'm not proclaiming no children based on celibacy or anything of that nature, it just seems that I would rather spend my time with the people I love and learn about the world without a small child who would need constant attention.

Anyone have anything to add?

 

I dunno if people, well men anyway, have a prior urge to have kids. I was repulsed and horrified by the thought of my first kid until I met her then I was sold. I'm pretty sure many women have the visceral urge to procreate though. If you don't want to have kids though that's good and don't let anyone convince you that you're missing out on anything. You might be, but ppl with kids are missing out on just as much or more lol

There are environmental concerns that ppl say can be mitigated by stopping births, but there are countries that have tried it and it served to weaken them b/c the workforce wasn't replenished, etc. Besides I don't think there are too many ppl on the earth necessarily, just too many ppl to carry on the habits of the past.

 

It's not true that men can't long for children. My husband had wanted children all his life before we had our daughter. I was never "longing" as such for a family, but that is not to say I don't love my little girl. I love her more than the world itself.

Those who don't have kids, and choose not to, well that's your decision but don't ever completely rule it out, kids are great.

 

I don't have any interest in having kid(s) myself. Its just not the type of lifestyle I want to have. And that's really the difference, lifestyle. People with kids can be very happy and fulfilled, but miss out on a lot of opportunities, like travel and being able to do what you want when you want. Plus, kids are expensive, require a lot of attention and they will change your life, for better and for worse. Its a big choice to make, but remember, its not too late if you end up changing your mind.

 

I wonder if it is lamentable that so few people these days want to reproduce. Even just two generations ago, things were a lot different. I feel the same way as you guys, but on the sociological level I have to wonder if this is a good thing or not, and what is the cause of it.

 

I'd say its a good thing for now. Earth is over populated. It cant sustain the amount of life currently residing on it. Less reproduction would be a good thing for a decade or two.

 

I am very young so i definatly don't want any kids right now but i do want them in the future.
I want two of my own and i want to adopt one..

I just love kids and think its a great thing and i wana give them things i have never had.

 

I've always known I'd be a dad someday. And now I am.

 

The earth's not overpopulated. There are just a lot of people who'd like you to think so.

 

I don't mean to sound patronizing, but I don't think the question "why have children?" has an answer that will be understandable by those who don't have them. It's just not something you can explain very well in words.

Don't get me wrong ... I have no argument with those who prefer not to have kids. Nor do I think it's necessary to have children in order to be "fulfilled". Either way, having kids or not having them, it's your choice.

All I can say is that I cannot fathom my life without my children and grandchildren. Most parents will tell you without hesitation that the birth of their kids ranks as the most memorable moments of their lives. I would add that the same is true of grandkids.

I understand the arguments against having very large families, and I don't disagree. I also know that you could add up every emotional feeling I could ever have in a million years, multiply it by the number of stars in the universe, multiply it again by the number of grains of sand on the earth, and it would not come near to equaling the intensity of my love for my children.

I'm sorry I'm not able to explain it any better than that.

 

Granny, you've hit it right on the head. The love I have for my kids is beyond words. The decision to become a father is the best decision of my life. I took a different approach to parenting though. I too feel the world is grossly over populated, for that and other reasons I decided to adopt all my kids. They were all at least 6 years old, all "Hard to Place". These incredible young humans were headed for the junkheap of society, orphanages or other human warehouses. What a rush to have these kids join me in life, grow up whole, healthy and happy. We connect at the level of heart and soul. We talk about how life would have been if we hadn't had the chance to be in each others lives. I'm grateful to them for allowing me to be their Dad and they have rewarded with more than I could ever give. All these healthy families now with kids of their own or their own adopted kids. WOW, what a rush for an old hippie. I believed in all the things we said in the 60's, about love and peace and kindess...and it was all true.

 

I noticed that it is speculated that for most parents the birth of there children ranks as the greatest moments of there life, but it seems that with so many other people sharing nearly the exact same experience everyday it would take some of the wonder away?

If someone with children was to admit that the best time of there lives was not the birth of his or her first or second child and instead reminisce to a Pink floyd concert and the first time they smoked grass instead would it make them less fit or less loving parents?

Does society attempt to guilt trip people into the miracle of birth?

 

I wouldn't say that's true for all cases. Maybe some. Not mine though. Nothing compared with the first time I saw my daughter after I'd been carrying her for 9months and a bit, no weed or Pink Floyd can beat that!

 

Yeah I suppose the first time I smoked weed at age 12 was every bit as seminal and life-changing a moment as meeting my first kid. My first acid trip may be even more so. I lost a lot of fear when I first looked into the eyes of that bewitching baby, it probably made me grow up more thoroughly and instantly than anything else.

 

What do other people's children have to do with it?

Wow ... that's quite a misunderstanding. You really think the only reason I loved having my children is because of some guilt trip????

Incredible.

 

all I know is the first time I ever cried tears of joy, as in I was laughing and sobbing at the same time, was when my wife gave birth. No other life experience has ever had that effect on me.

 

I think you may be misunderstanding of what I was suggesting, what I meant was there are a great deal of people who share very similar experiences of child birth, it would seem that the concept of birthing an infant would seem rather tawdry and expected not exiting and life changing.

Just an opinion.

Again you have misunderstood what I was implying, at no time did I say loving your child is a guilt trip, I said saying that it's physical birth is the greatest thing in your life because it seems to be the politically correct answer towards someone with children when asked of life achievements.

 

How would either side know what it is to live the life of the other.

Breeders: "I love my kids more than anything", "You dont know what love is until you have kids", "I'd do anything for my kids"

These are phrases people are going to say anyway, whether they believe them or not, so the other side is never really sure if its true or how true it is

Non Breeders: Life lived interacting with everyone else


As a non breeder myself, when this topic comes up, half the time the conversation goes something like this:

"I love my kids more than anything, I'd do anything for them"

"Well, probably the most important thing you can do for them is give them a couple more brothers and sisters to grow up with"

"Oh, god no, no more fucking kids"

 

I just think that it's unnecessary bringing more people in this already overpopulated world. With that being said, it would be interesting to have a son in my lifetime, just to see what they are like.

 

I'd like to see the world's population decline about 80%. The survivors would be better off in every way.

Most guys have kids because their wives pressure them into it.