Hi there! I need HipForums people's advice =S I'll tell you my problem: I asked my bf to have anal sex 2 months ago and he told me he wasn't prepared yet. You see, he's a beginner so I don't want to press him to do nothing he doesn't want. But yesterday, I asked him again and he told me the same thing: He said that he would like to do it, but he wasn't sure, he said he was afraid of hurting me or something. So I didn't insist again. The problem is that my ex bf and I used to do it very offenly and I loved it. And I don't want to press him, but how can I manage to make him understand me? He told me that when he were prepared, he would tell me... May I believe him? Or is that just an excuse? Help please! EDIT: I am a girl and he's a beginner in EVERYTHING, not only in anal. We've been together for almost 4 months.
Hi..i would like to help you... first: he got the massage!! but he REFUSES anal!! as a man i tell you this for 100%! second: there are some points which i need you tell cuz it plays big rule in the answer: 1- are you are a girl or a gay boy ?? 2- how long are you together ? 3- do you often talk about sex with each other?..or he is closed man ?? 4- has he ever tried anal sex before (even with other girl ) ? 5- is he especially TOO CLEAN man?(does not like give u rimming or..or..) ?? i ask these cuz its important know where is exactly his problem that he refuses give u anal sex..then we can give good advice about the best approach
1- I am a girl 2- 3 months and some weeks 3- I try to talk with him and he does too, but he's quite close in general 4- No, I explained it before, he says that he isn't sure because he's a beginner 5- He's always clean but I dunno if he refuses to anal because of the hygiene If he refuses to anal...
He could be anxious because of your short relationship maybe ? and hygiene can certainly worry first timers aswell, i know i worried at first. Plus with you allready reasuring him that it wont hurt you, it could well be either of my above suggestions ... I often fantasized about doing anal, long before i ever did with a woman, and i also worried a little when my girl asked if id like to try it. Just keep reasuring him about it, and keep talking openly about sex in general with him, probably just needs to open up .. Anal can be marvelous when the 2 people involved get it right, ive just had realy good anal tonight with my ex girlfriend, possably the best yet .. swiftly after delivering 6 orgasms to her oraly .. Good luck ..
Thank you Deranger. He's a beginner in sex so I don't want to press him... but I love anal =( So what do you suggest? Should I leave him alone for some time?
All i can say is with him being so new to sex in general, maybe it will take time to find himself, when did he loose his virginity ? Maybe you should explore a little in other ways first, gently coaxing him towards what you realy enjoy " anal sex " i mean maybe he wants to feel as if he's got the hang of other variations of sex first ? Then it would be a progression to anal - on his terms .. if you get me ? The way i saw it was my introduction to anal was through gaining self confidance through the mastering of giving pleasure in all other ways before " naturally progressing " onto anal sex. But this only relates to a confidance thing ^^^^ if its down to hygiene worries on his part then it could be far harder to get round .. I mean i cant realy say more than that, as im only relatively new to anal ( around 8 months since i started ) so im no guru .. My post is only my opinion and not hard and fast rules ... Very best of luck, as you know anal can be wonderfull when 2 people get it right.
He lost his virginity with me, soI suppose that I must wait until he's more confident. He's very new in all this terms so I won't press him anymore. Thank you very much, Deranger
WOW! What a change, a girl that wants anal and a guy that's not interested. I suggest you let him know how much pleasure it brings you, and that if it hurts you will let him know. It's glad to see that he cares about you enough that he doesn't want to hurt you, some guys are so selfish they will fuck you in the ass even if you are crying and begging them to stop, I know of such a person, and that's sad. I think that you should start with fingering. Let him finger your ass. If he see that there is no shit on his finger, he will know you are clean, also, if he sees how much pleasure just a finger can bring you, he may be interested to try and use his penis, not to mention once he sees how tight your ass is on his finger, I am sure he will be curious as to how that will feel on his member. That's my suggestion. If he is not ready for full on penetration, take baby steps, you said he was a virgin, so go slower.
OH MY GOSH!! By the way, thank you for the advice =) When I feel we're prepared I'll not tell him to do it with his penis, but with his finger ^^ That's good! thank you very much!
If you like this guy and he make you feel good otherwise, you should be patent with him. If he has had no previous experience with sex he maybe afraid of doing something wrong, or making a fool of himself. You have not said how old your boy friend is. It sound like he may be younger that you. Anyway, just enjoy what you can get.
He's one year older than me, he's 20... But there's a difference: I lost my virginity at 14 and he lost it at 20...
Wow 14, that's young. Anyway, I agree go slow. It may be good to talk to him about it, and really see if there are any religious or social reasons. Some people thing anal is wrong, or that it's homosexual. Talking about it will help you understand him, and possibly get him excited for anal as a side effect.
If you want an experienced and honest answer follow my lead: Guys like to see their partner turned on by actions they have control over. If you are giving him a blowjob or are even eying his dick just look at him and tell him you think his dick is huge and want him to fuck you in the ass with it. You have to be bold here. Say "I want you to fuck me in the ass". Set the tone as to how taboo it is and tell him that in some countries it is illegal and that you want to watch him fuck your asshole. If he really won't budge on the thought of you being massively turned on by him thrusting you in the ass then he just won't be into it. Move on. Trying to appeal to him like if you want to watch a relationship movie is not going to work. You need to appeal to his instinctive drive to fuck the living daylights out of you. If he goes for it but you sense that he is not into it, find a way to turn around and look at him or the dick in your ass and tell him that if he wants your ass he is going to have to fuck you like he means it. Guys are really simple here, and trust me, this will work if you have any chance at getting it into you. I had huge hesitations, then I had the right setting, mood, and girl. Seriously, just like the first time I ate a girl and really liked it. Being comfortable with someone, having the respect for reach other, but then being wildly naughty has a sexual experience that makes life worth living. SO repeat after me: "take that huge cock, and shoot a load in my ass" If it means lots to you, don't be foolish. Move on to another guy. At our age it just isn't worth it. I would kill for a GF again to let me put a load in her ass. Just remembering her screams when the cum came out gives me a boner right now. She woke up the neighbors and everything. I came so hard I couldn't walk and I nearly passed out.
Twenty is quite old for a guy unless there a good reason. It will maybe a religious objection. If that is the case I would tried lightly. That can be a hard one to get beyond.
My guess is he is either grossed out by the thought of it (probably because he heard some stories from male friends), or he is religious and thinks it is immoral or will make him gay (or make you think he's gay - even if you're asking for it). My first gf would wave her ass for me but wouldn't let me touch or lick it (and later on had a one night stand with a guy and let him butt-fucked her bare-back, go figure). After that it was several years into having sex before I got "interested" in it so to speak so I don't think it is natural for a guy to be into it right away (or even ever), lets face it, pussy is good... Maybe you should try some 69 with you on top... plenty of opportunity to grind your ass into his face, not very subtle but it might get him used to enjoying your butt up close and personal. While eating you out its hard not to Or if you're on top, horny as hell, the lights are out and you're already prepared and loosened up you could try the old switcheroo to hole number two (a few drinks might help too). That's rather unfair, a bit of a low down dirty trick some might say [pun intended] (and they'd say much more if a guy was trying it on his gal). You'll need to be sure what you're getting into there and really need to be prepared with plenty of practice with a dildo first. So it would be way easier if you just wait for him to give it a go on his own accord.
I didn't lose my Straight virginity until I was 23, and that was from being raped / molested by a nymphomaniac in her 40s. At first, believe it or not, I did my best to resist, but after a while the testosterone levels reach such a level that the natural mating instinct kicks in. You may wonder why it took me so long to lose my virginity. Well, that's quite easily answered. I've never been any good interacting with people, and my social skills have never been up to much, resulting in my being pretty shy & reclusive. However, once I had lost my virginity, it seemed the floodgates were opened & after that it never seemed quite so difficult to approach the situation. As far as losing my Gay virginity - well, that was a different matter. Apart from the usual adolescent sexual adventuring, which I've never counted as being true Gay sex, even though it involved Mutual Masturbation & OraL, I never could get up the nerve to put my yearnings for Gay Sex into practice until I got onto the Internet once I was into my 40s & discovered some of the many Online Dating sites, such as Adult Friend Finder & Silver Daddies (the ones I use most). By signing up to these I have been able to get a regular supply of other men, usually married, who also have Gay/Bi leanings, with a strong yearning for sex with other men, but also with a vital need for discretion.
