Genital Herpes - Nice guy but......

I know this is an old thread but hopefully I can help someone by replying...

I have genital herpes. I got it in college. And actually I think I read somewhere that 1 in 4 people have it I have been married for 12 years and have flareups about 3 or 4 times a year. They get less severe as time goes on BTW. Anyhoo, we have never used condoms and just abstain if I am having a break out (the person can tell a few days before the actually outbreak b/c the area gets tingly or itchy). My hubby has never gotten the disease. So take that as you will...12 years having sex 4/5 times a week...no transmission.

Please understand that it is VERY hard for someone who has herpes to admit it. It doesn't mean we are nasty or promiscuous. It just means we were unlucky. Please don't judge us. I can't imagine really loving someone and then breaking up because he has herpes...

 

how do u get genital herpes? i mean, can herpes of the mouth spread to the genitals if u do oral sex?

 

Of course it can. And HSV-1 is insanely common. Actually many people, some who are probably whinging about partners having a strain, carry it asymptomatically. It is extremely mild when caught genitally though, except for the primary episode. After that, many wouldn't know they had it.

57% of the American population carry HSV-1 (ie. the majority of adults). It used to be more. If you've kissed more than one or two people you've most likely kissed someone who carries it. Never know, you might carry it. Many people also carry the common cold, mono, the flu, every other random virus on earth. Do we quarantine ourselves and check out of society? Just because someone puts STD next to a basically harmless skin disease that you may have trouble with a few times a year or never, doesn't make it something world ending. It seems most of the fear is of social labelling, etc. and not the actual disease. It does give you 1 in 10000 chance of complications during pregnancy also, so if you intend on having thousands of babies and not mentioning to the doctor that you carry it, be careful .

HSV-2 is slightly more severe genitally. And less common. I still don't think it's enough to run for the hills, except for avoiding judgement.

 

So did you get the herpes?

 

You should run chicka!

It is very easy to spread herpes. If this guy didn't tell you before the first time you slep with him, then that is bad. You could have got it without even knowing, or had a decision in if you wanted to or not.

There is alot of good advice on here so far. I had a friend that got cheated on on, he got H, spread it to her and now she feels that she can't ever be in another relationship. How can you ask someone, hey I really like you and want to make love to you.. But I have H. I know this is what your guy should have done, but my friend now doesn't even have sexual desire. Only betrayal.

Good luck, and I hope you didn't get it. You can get blood work done to find out for sure, I would recommend it. They can tell you what type and all. Some ppl nenver get a break out, some get them all the time, some only get it once.

The pills don't help to not spread it, but to help not get break outs.

 

It is very easy 2 get it, skin 2 skin contact down thre even with condom and possibly oral, if u luv sum1 and ur serious u wudnt run away. Sum ppl hav unprotected sex 4 years with a hpv positive partner and dont get symptoms but that doesnt mean they will not have it they just might hav no symptoms, there not much point if u marryed with a person 2 use protection if 1 has it cause ull most likly get it anyway unles u never hav sex

 

I met a lady and slept on the side of the road with here. Like a meter away from the tar, ; ) , she wanted to fuck so bad, i was like whats up with this, didnt do any thing with her, tho latter on that day she told me she had it, luck me, i was warey, never did catch up with her again,

 

Bail woman!

 

you should probably kill him. after all, being one of the 25% of humans who has this affliction, he does not deserve happiness or to ever have sex again. dumping him would be far too kind. even murder, if not designed to inflict the greatest possible pain, would be more than he deserves. fucking diseased piece of shit.

 

1 in 4 U.S. women over the age of 12 have genital herpes. 1 in 8 men have it. When you go to the doctor, they don't screen for it. I'm not sure why there aren't more warnings about it... probably because most people who have it show no symptoms. Doesn't mean they can't spread it though.

 

I contracted genital herpes after graduating college. I was focused on my career and had lots of unprotected sex with no intention of monogamy or commitment. I had a lot of fun until I contracted genital herpes. At the time I thought my life had come to an end. I'm not even sure who I got it from. I can narrow it down to three guys but that's about it.

After being diagnosed, I felt like a marked woman. I felt stupid for having been so casual and over confident that it would never happen to me. I'd sleep with a guy if he wore a condom, but that wasn't as gratifying. If he wanted to have unprotected sex I always told him my situation. Needless to say, my concern about getting overly involved took care of itself after that admission. I know a few girls who were quite careful but still got infected. I'd have to agree that some are just unlucky.

When I met the man who is now my husband, I didn't take him very seriously. We had protected sex, but eventually I had to tell him about my disease. He started laughing! I was hurt and angry. After the tension settled, he told me he also had genital herpes! I always wondered why he so gladly put on a condom when most guys tired of them after a few encounters. It wasn't long before I was again enjoying the feel of a naked dick sliding into me. We both know of each others past lives and enjoy sharing stories about our past encounters. I'm so glad we found each other. :love:

 

I don't buy into all the stigma associated with STDs, we are all human, we all have microscopic oppressors that make us uncomfortable and sick. I don't think and STD is a deal-breaker when it comes to having a partner in life.

I'm old enough to have a couple of girlfriends that have told me that they have HSV or HPV, I respect our friendship and the trust and closeness that we share so that they were comfortable to share that with me. Granted, I'm not a lesbian, so the health of their vaginas is not relevant to my sex life and decisions. I am still happy to be a part of their letting go of the shame.

 

I think that kind of doubts is utterly incorrect from you... If you don't love this guy, just break up with him and don't make up excuses.

 

I know someone who got genital herpes from oral sex.

I give you props to be fucking a person with an STD, flare up or not...that is just disgusting

 

Herpes sounds to me basically like an inconvenience. That being said, I would support the OP in either decision she makes. I myself don`t think I would knowingly expose myself to that inconvenience.

Although, I have probably already been exposed to it (as anyone who's had more than a handful of partners would) and so far have checked negative for it.

However, I will say this...it seems to me it is no more the infected person`s responsibility to say they are infected than it is for the non-infected person to ask for a STD check before having sex.

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I think I have read that asymptomatic herpes has a lesser chance of spreading. It makes sense to me, though I don`t know if the risks are symbolic or very real. Some people are also resistant to it, I think I`ve heard.

If I had genital herpes and was asymptomatic, I don`t know that I would say anything to casual partners. After all, I`ve had cold sores once, and I would feel ridiculous saying that to everyone that I kissed.

I have also lived with two separate partners who had cold sores quite frequently, but I have never had them myself. I am more informed now than I was then, but I still don`t think I would have broken up because of it.

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As the above poster astutely puts, I think the main problem with herpes is stigma. I imagine it`s a little bit like being a closet gay, you can only suspect other people might be gay as well, but it`s a hard question to ask. Awkward disease...the herp, not homosexuality.

After all, if you said, "Do you have the herpes?" to every romantic prospect, 1 in 4 out of those would honestly have to say yes, and I bet they are great fun in bed. :biggrin:

 

If he put you at risk, and does not care about your health - RUN AWAY!

 

someone got sued by there gf by willingly not telling her he had it. I bet alot of ppl do it though

 

yea herpes is cool.

 

that shit stays fo life!

i'd think again about boning this guy... seems a tad risky