Okay so here is the situation... My girlfriend (whom I love very much) has never had an orgasm. She says she has tried masturbating but she doesn't feel anything good. Recently I was touching her over her panties (because she wont let me get in them - yet) and I rubbed her clit for a while but she said it felt vaguely good but it wasn't going anywhere. I don't know if she could put into words what she really meant but she said her clit was really sensitive and it felt like rubbing it should hurt but it didnt. I said maybe it was because I was doing it OVER her panties but she said that wasn't it. Then I told her to keep trying and that we'd do this over again next time and see where it goes. I'm just confused and I want to know if there are other girls who dont really find stimulating their clitorus pleasurable. And if someone else has been through this what would you suggest she does?
Make friends with Betty Dodson's site. Show her this artice first: http://dodsonandross.com/sexfeature/first-time-orgasm Then she can watch some of the video-podcasts.
i wouldn't force her to keep trying with your way.. i agree with the others.. encourage her to try a vibe and read/watch guides but let her do this on her own time. she has to be ready and open. it's her journey p.s. i mean this with respect. i think it's great that you're trying to help her!
One of my friends in high school was this guy named dean, who was actually captin of the football team, he ended up going through 1/3 of the girls in our form, most of whom would tell their boyfriends that they werent ready for sex, or they were saving themselves for marriage or for it to be special or they were afraid it was going to hurt
thank you for your opinions guys. A vibrator might be a good idea. I think maybe i should just let her be. But I feel like she's really not open about this and I'm trying more than anything to get her into this and try to explore herself.
Until she opens to you, sorry! Once you have a free and easy relationship and can lay around naked and start to explore each others' bodies, you can start kissing her vagina. Kisses lead to tongues digging in. That leads to lips playing with a clit. That leads to a full out oral attack. Best for the clitoris, 'cause no pressure (as with finger), much more intimate, and usually successful with the most frigid of women. That doesn't work? Sex therapy or new woman!!
I think your approach is wrong, build up the trust first by being nice to her. This were all men go wrong, they are just to eager to get the penis into that vagina. If she's ready ... Kissing, cuddling, caressing, romance, why straight for the vulva ? Have you ever seen some one try to get a woman off by violently fingering a women it looks so stupid when a guy does this. And then there's the vulva grind till the clitoral hood is red raw and chaffed. Women are not robots where you press a button and it lights up. People are so lazy these days they want everything so quickly and effortlessly. Through away the dildos, and all the bullshit, just use your fingers to caress a women and make love to her in a gentle and loving way, that is none selfish and pretentious. Read my other posts maybe it can help you. GB.
I'm with GentleBen. She isn't a dude - get out of the pants, and focus ont he rest of her beautiful body. Show her you deserve it!
I have the same problem, I don't orgasm by penetration inside my vagina. I have to have my clitoris stimulated and its alot more intense with a vibrator. If you have a new relationship with this girl, then you need to take it slow. She needs to understand that you love her body, and her before she will be comfortable enough to want to have sex (physical or oral). I would suggest asking her if you can give her oral sex, consentrate on her clitoris but be gentle and understanding. And advice for any man, let your women bring their toys into bed with you. You wont regret it. If you both like to experiment with drugs, try ecstacy. I get my husband to open up alot more on e, we learn alot about eachother every time we take it. We don't do it often, but it is great to just take a chill pill as we call it. It makes us slow down from our reality life and concentrate on just us being together.
My wife has the same problem as Mrs. White. No orgasm via penetration. I have found that the tongue is the most effective tool for gaining orgasm. I also agree with those who are telling you not to force it. Be patent, show her you love her, treat her will. If the chemistry is there she will come around.
If the vibe doesn't cure her problem, just hang it up and move on. If you don't, you'll end up resenting her and things will get really bad then.
=S What? Isn't that his decision if he would resent it or not. My girlfriend's still never let me make her cum (she stops me when the "weird feeling" comes) It's been this way for over 2 years - I still get mine, and she still loves it, so I have no true complaint =P
Well, he sounds rather frustrated about the situation...and rightfully so. More often than not that can lead to resentment despite the initial desperation for that to not happen. I'm giving it a "chances are" or possibility response. Not, "Oh, this one guy has the same problem and is happy either way". Otherwise, the initial poster probably wouldn't have started a thread about it if he were stoked about it either way. That's all. Nothing personal. :cheers2:
