AS I write this, it's 6 am. I took a roll with my friend at 12:30 and I'm about to go to bed. This was some good shit. Here are my thoughts as best as I can document them: What makes my feelings more important than yours? From a larger perspective, it makes no difference. Yet we are selfish to the core, friends. How have we become so impersonal to each other? We treat the world like our play ground, disregarding others' feelings as our DNA lives through us - our final product being the host - in an attempt to replicate us. This selfish programming is the root of our ego. Our egos work for their own agendas - not ours, not others. The ego is sneaky as anything we can ever imagine. First, it entices us with some indulgence. At the early stages, we can recognize it is "wrong" and ignore it, but give in to the ego and its voice beckens stronger...stronger and stronger, the more one gives in. Until finally, the ego convinces one, "I am you. And you are me. To disobey me would be to destroy yourself." Psychedelic (shrooms and e being all I have tried) are a release from this perpetual cycle of meaningless, temptation, and ultimate unsatisfaction. For what the ego wants, it craves - and can not have enough of. Like a cancer, it infests our innocent minds, telling us what we need and what we should do, and most importantly, it never lets us find peace. It makes promises, "Wait until this time", or "Get this and all will be better" and ultimately lies. It's an infestation - it really is. I think most children are free from this, but society tries its darndest to infect us all. What I am concerned about is that it always creeps back up. It causes me anxiety and affects my judgement. Is there some permanent release from this struggle, or are we only allowed glimpses of these higher truths? If one believes in evolution, ego-based thought is simply the best method of survival. Can such a powerful force be overcome? Earlier tonight I toyed with the idea of creating distance. Don't allow the ego to "become" you, but instead observe it. "The ego wants me to do this" and then, ultimately, decide for yourself. So I'll be experimenting with this in the next few days, but I have felt the same way many times after shroom trips and eventually felt the same as before. Yeah, I just got off a best trip with my best friend. He picked me up, had white russians, took the pills and smoked some cigs. It was really a great experience as we opened up to each other and enjoyed each other's company, as well as listen to music. It wasn't "pure" bliss though, I did feel quite anxious on this pill. Another thing I was thinking of, is how freaking impersonal we have gotten. While listening to some music, I finally realized how most artists are pouring their hearts and souls into their work. Why, when we don't appreciate someones art - which is truly everything a person does - do we try to bring them down with us? Is it so hard to have a little respect, to simply think, "This is not my kind of music, but thank you for the effort". WE hate, but why? For the lulz? Browse any popular forum and you will find that if a member's art/style/whateveryoucallit is not appreciated, he or she is brought down in a barrage of ridicule. Have we become such sick beings that we enjoy making others suffer? Just some things to ponder. I'm off to bed
Why do people consider MDMA a trip??? I understand that it can teach things, but if your rolls are killing your ego, then you aren't taking MDMA. If anything I think MDMA builds up the ego with false love and emotion for everything (not knocking XTC, I like it, but its not much of a "learning" drug)
I agree, good post. I think that it's often best to only allow our egos enough room for us to survive sufficiently. I do think that MDMA can definitely be a learning drug. Imagine if everyone had that much compassion flowing through them at all times?
That is ignorance and is ENTIRELY false. In all honesty, I have probably learned more on the deep meaningful conversations while rolling than I have when tripping on any psychedelics.
ageed. i think mdma is an ego-enhancer, not unlike alcohol in that respect. i say this based on plenty of inter- and intra-personal experience with it. this is distinctly noticeable whenever I'm on a psychedelic only trip and in the company with someone who is on an mdma only trip.
I think a few of us took the post the wrong way. he didn't have ego loss during the roll, he made a realization about the ego during the roll. I love ecstasy, it enhances my creative side. I can definitely see how you got this, its a great realization. thanks for sharing
