Need help with an affection based on-line homosexual 'relationship'

Well I have no idea how serious this forum is and whether my thread will get trolled to hell or if I will actually get some useful replies and suggestions. However this has been in my head and I really need to ask about this.

I'm a guy and a few weeks ago I met some other guy online. We've been friendly to eachother, just chatting a bit and being generally nice to eachother. However lately things have gone into a slipstream after about a week ago we expressed to eachother that we actually had feelings for eachother, although we couldn't quite identify those feelings yet.

A few days ago we got to the subject where we discussed in what way we liked eachother and whether we were actually gay or that this was just a strong friendship. We both get the feelings in our stomach when we chat and we feel very strongly about eachother. However I read that homosexuality or bisexuality only applies to physical attraction, but we both are only physically attracted to girls, at least that's what we think.

Last night it all went out of hand and we 'cybered'. Before that he wondered if anything could happen to us and I said something like "well maybe we could cyber lol" (jokingly) but he actually thought that was a pretty good idea. By that time we both had a hard-on so we went and 'cybered' up to a point where we both came.
Afterwards we discussed again what this would mean. If this would mean if we were in a relationship now, or that it was just having some fun.

I really don't know where this is going or what is happening. Sure, I've had some basic gay feelings before, but only affectionate... sexually I'm pretty much heterosexual. He maybe wants to 'cyber' next time with a webcam and microphone to make it more intimate. We live in other countries, but still not far away and it has been going through my head to just go and visit him. My attraction to him really makes me want to hug and cuddle him, though on the other hand I'm quite appaled by the fact that we're both men. Additionally, I'm known to be somewhat on the 'ugly' side (a bit overweight, not that hot, etc) and he's supposed to be quite 'hot'.... but the weirder thing is we haven't even seen pictures of eachother yet.


I'm afraid for me this is just a case of lust since all my attempts at relationships with females have failed (even so badly that I've never even HAD a relationship) and that my insecurity and him being nice just bring up faux feelings. On the other the feelings and the 'butterflies' ARE present.

Do you have any suggestions, or tips, or similar experience or whatever for me to help me out to figure out where I stand, what I'm actually feeling and how I should handle this.

One part of me tells me to just get a grip and 'dump' him and go on with my (failed but heterosexual) life while another part tells me to embrace this and see where it goes. I'm torn.

 

I would embrace it. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere eventually it will help you get a grip on your feelings about homosexual intimacy.

There is only so much that advice on an internet forum can tell you. You're going to have to figure out "where you stand" on your own, although I'm sure some people have had similar experiences and may be able to tell you what to expect.

 

I agree with this, just continue talking to him. If it leads to a relationship then it does, if not then it doesn't. I wouldn't describe homosexuality as just a physical attraction. Most people fall in love with the person inside and not just for the persons sexy body. I can't really tell if you are or not, but don't worry about it so much. Just see where things go with the guy.

 

Thank you for your answers, I really appreciate it. I decided to just go on with it to see where it is going, indeed.

The other day we 'cybered' while he was on his webcam, but I decided I really didn't like what I saw, so I carefully told him. He was a bit sad, because he said it really turned him on and he really wanted to see me on the webcam as well.

We're in a bit of a difficult spot right now with that, and we're both horny all the time so there's a lot going on, but we still like eachother so much that I think this is not going to end soon.

 

I am glad you decided to go with the flow. To me, you sound afraid of your feelings, which is not unusual. Even people with heterosexual feelings are cautious, so you certainly are not abnormal for being fearful of feelings our culture wrongfully deems as inappropriate. As someone else already posted, embrace your feelings. There is nothing wrong with them. Don't be afraid to explore. You'll never know what you may find. Life is too short to be left wondering :cheers2:.

 

Just the fact that you've gotten this far, posting a thread like this on a forum asking the opinion of others.......really should tell you everything.

If you want to meet up with this guy, I'd advise you mostly about precautions anyone should take when meeting a web friend, xchange pics first(they cant always be trusted), so then ring each other, talk. Then if you want to meet, meet up in a public place, dont just give him your address and invite him over.

Then when it comes to the meet, who says it has to be anything? It can be just two friends having a cup of coffee bitching about work