Dealing with this

lol I know and the guys who dont have a past, theyre not really interested in me yes im taking a break from it all. Im gonna hang with my friend tonight instead of him and tomorrow we wont hang cause hes going to a rave club but hes off monday so im betting he'll want to hang then

 

I'm Learning, I just need a past chick that hates me to cling to and I'll be set :tongue:

Would just say keep it flat out, no games, no sidetracks.. If he prefers getting beat up on the phone over you, then he can marry his phone Would just keep up a friend level till he divorces the phone for good

 

I like your advice star. He hasnt talked to her since. but the other night I realized that he does care about me because one he always always wants to hang out and I was talking to him about dating and what was his deal with her and hes like I know for SURE we're not getting back together, shes not the person I liked anymore and I realize how she turned into a bitch but the feelings havent gone away for the person she WAS and hes like looking back she was the coolest girl and I treated her like shit and I was an idiot to her and she just stayed so cool with me and if I start dating you, with the feelings still there, Im gonna treat you the same way and I dont want to do that to you, you put up with me now but I DONT want to be an ass to you

I totally got what he was saying because it reminded me very very much of the last situation I was in. I fell in love first sight I seen him and I didnt realize how I was being treated by him until 3 years into our friendship and one day all of a sudden how much of a douche he was and the feelings went away and a big big relief came along with it

I told him that and Im like when that day comes, its so amazing and hes like I cant wait for it, its a god awful feeling to have, we're on the same boat then and Im happy about that, you know what Im going through, Im not bullshitting you

I finally put it together and its a stage people go through especially with their first love

 

If youre going to fuck someone without it meaning anything it's a good idea to make sure you;re both clear about the situation first. Just having sex and then leaving straight away is pretty low to be honest, unless it's a prearranged thing, like "hey, lets be fuckbuddies". You know. To some people it means more than a quick screw

 

I agree he sounds like he is into you alot, Just have to be judgemental. You do not want another relationship the same as the last, so just point out the things to progress .. For instance burying the phone =P .. can get a tombstone for it, to make it look nice lol =P. Keep dwelling on the past, you end up its watchful resident which is rather depressing..

All ya have to do is pick yourself, say you where an idiot and move on. Much better path ahead and he just doesn't want to focus on it.

 

I have to say you always give the greatest advice. I love reading your posts and I agree with what you are saying.:cheers2:

 

he really does and I appreciate your help. I come here because none of my friends really give good advice and I gotta get like a confirmation before I make moves of my own and thats when star comes along lol

The sex we have does have meaning. we dont do it a lot..maybe once every 2 weeks, when the mood strikes i suppose but thats fine. it tells me that not only sex has strength in our friendship we still entertain another, i still pend on breaking from him for a bit but i just cant seem to get at that corner cause his aunt and uncle want me over too

 

Thanks you two =) .. It's easy for me to look at it all, with a more independant stand point lol. Though atm finding myself getting into trouble with new found gemini/snake I met up with online O o ... Hopefully can find a way to keep her =D

 

Sorry to hear that its going rough. I'm sure all will go well.

 

Yea Realy Hopeing So. Can now see how all the stupid things can just appear in time once hooked in . The trouble I am getting into is literally Me, Myself and I lol

But since my two feet are pretty much back on the ground after first date going so well I can pretty much amend other thoughts on it, and its actually easy to see when a guy is hooked lol.

For starters:

Random obsticles may appear O o. Right before the date, I got a text message from the other Girl I dated a few days until was told she wanted to go back out with ex ~ which apparently didn't last long according to new text messages lol. Fantastic timeing! But responed to her saying was seeing someone cause A. I am.. B. Would just be a repeat cycle i think from last time.

Other thing to note, Is constant up and down thoughts dureing seperated time. This is good/bad in many respects and can understand in stacy's lulu's case with attention wanting. Cause that was Me =P.. Bad thing is, Your mind can see it as being to needy obviously but this is only done due to the thoughts of the person just up and dumping ya ;/ which sucks. Logically its all mind conflicts and has no basis, but still is a pain. And just have to be rationalized in the right manner, but I bet alot make wrong decisions at this stage :/.

But one big different thing about being hooked this far that I see is. Normally the incoming after thoughts on future settings which I had the other 2 times... How will this go, what will need to be done... etc. This time I wasn't worried about anything, and everything seemed like it was nothing but "right" and fullfilled.

So inretrospect all I can say is, Expect any dumb thing to happen, Just make forgive it all, Unless it remains a consistant thing weeks down the line lol .. Then for sure it's something to work out.

 

Minor Update: Everything is going realy well =D

 

we've been bickering but we made up ( I thought)

its a long story and im making it short...hes racist..against black people. Im not. I didnt know how racist he was. we were at the fair and I wanted to go on a ride he didnt, I said with my sarcastic ways "I'll go on the ride with that black guy" yes I knew the guy cause the guy laughed when I said it but Brad went nuts. and walked away TOTALLY ignoring me and he was arguing with me how "i didnt get it the first time that he didnt like blacks" and I said im sorry i didnt know how sensitive you were

So we let it blow over...or so i thought

we were talking and he brings up my friend, Jon. who i hung out with recently and whos half black.

and he goes on to say have you slept with him recently? but in a con voice and I said I told you i dont sleep with him anymore..he just uses me but we still hang out

he still thinks I sleep with him but then goes on to say we're not going out so you can sleep with whoever and I said yes I can but Im not

he drags it on...

Something's bothering him about it obviously. Either he doesnt want me hanging out with Jon cause hes black...or cause he thinks im romantic with him

last night we were laying down..he was drunk and asked "whats the biggest n***** cock youve had?"

Im like did you seriously ask me that? I knew he wanted me to say Jon and indeed I did say jon and he got soooo insecure about his size and not pleasing me good enough and it got H.S. all over again

leaving him is not an option. his self esteem is low and leaving him would just lower it more.

 

He needs to be hit on the head to wake up ... But I do not advocate violance :tongue:

I personally could not stay with someone very closed minded, or started haveing issues with friends I have made. And thinking it would just draw out even further if not confronted on it.

He sounds like he's keeping alot of his issues to himself and getting depressed and just sinking further into it. Only thing to say is, take the initiative and have a straight discussion trying to figure them out and get a understanding out of it.

Though the getting drunk and throwing that question out is childish. Its not your fault. He has the issue with it, you didnt create the issue lol. And the issue has no real bearing on anything unless you decide to force it on him. which I highly doubt you did.

 

I was gonna talk to him tonight about it but i think we're partying tonight cause i just had to lose another friend today so maybe tomorrow night lol

 

Loseing another friend ? O o

 

yeah a ex friend of mine bailed out and Im still kinda upset about it but its what ever now

no problems yet lol

 

update:

this guy is a bit closed minded, indeed im moving on. hes at a immature in love stage with his ex that he got a fucking tattoo that says MISU its polish for teddy bear and it has to deal with her

I'll laugh so hard the day he snaps out of it because i know he will. i JUST been through what he is going through and he'll look down on that tattoo and regret it


and then he says I dont ever want a girlfriend because they get me in trouble. He beats up the guys that try to hit on his girl


whatever though. all I can say is his loss. I told him im not like the other bitches you went out with that ran to you and nagged to you at every time they got hit on so you can beat them up. Topical every other woman right there

I just basically explained myself to him. I said I ignore every guy that tries and hit on me, because most of them do it in piggish ways and thats NOT me, Im a very classy girl who needs a man
I stand up for myself, if im getting messed with, you ARE going to get a punch in the nose

he was really listening and smiling when I was telling him all this and he indeed got closer to me after last night

but when things were looking good, he was sober and i was a little sober, i was talkative and he gave me feedback...until he got a call (this was earlier before all the talking) friend asking if he could help him paint this chick's house and after complaining he agreed.

I was kinda upset because I was in the mood to get drunk and chill with him. yeah he was up for it but the time we had, he didnt drink and that is STRANGE with him, hes a drunk. I guess he wanted to stay sober for painting.

but total buzz kill when he bailed out like that especially when we were talking like mad

 

That sucks. Nothing to do, other then let him live with his own issues he for some reason cheerishes so much to keep :/.

Wouldn't drag myself along into that. As for those that are close minded, I Do not think theres much to work with them. Couldn't date someone like that myself. And worst part is, it sounds like he thinks its free rain to go beat up on friends just because he thought they hit on you ? If he hasn't yet chances are its only matter of time..

As for his issues with women. He has to grow up out of it. Unfortunetly I do not think many will try to do that. But blameing or holding new girlfriends/boyfriends to issues you have had with past relationships doesn't realy correct anything, but can potentially worsen anything to come about with others that have no intention of doing such things to begin with.

If he can't get past any of it, Then let him dwell in his own mess that he prefers to keep staying in.

 

thats what im saying, let him hit rock bottom. im not gonna completely discard him but i am straying away. i realize that dating isnt for me right now

 

Your fucking joking right?