Me and my bf have known each other for 7 years, and been together for 8 or 9 months. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I know I want to, and he says the same, he is the only one for me Now, I don't know whether I want to get married... Not not to him, just marriage in general.. If you get me xD Marriage seems... a little claustraphobic? One of our fantasies is group sex, but I think it would be so cool to say "you are sucking my husband's dick... I'll suck him with you". I dunno, I think its become the norm to be married, in the 50's it was pushed upon couples, but the 60's bought a new era to sex and love, and it was all about freedom. I want to be free, I don't like the legal gargon. I don't want to be bound by lawyers or papers or rings... Or bound by laws that prohibit me or my partner from doing anything we choose to do, together, such as group sex. I've heard of other sorts of commitment ceremonies; my ex's mum and her partner had a pagan one, it was beautiful. What are your thoughts on marriage? Are you married? Are you cohabiting with your partner? Do you know anything about commitment ceremonies?
I'm married and I love it. It sounds like you on the right track looking at a marriage without the legal trappings, a commitment ceremony as you put it, seems like it's exactly what you want. I would say keep talking about it, thinking about it, uncovering exactly what it is you both want to do. Living in the society that we do, a legal marriage does have advantages as far as other legal issue's go, basically to do with government, money, health-care, and the like. I'm not sure how or if you'll be effected by any such concerns in the UK, you may simply be covered under laws for defacto relationships, but maybe you'd like to look into it from this perspective? Anyway, take your time, no rush, better to wait until there are no reasonable questions or doubts, a relationship is really defined by the people in it, marriage in it's purest sense must be a true union of two people with each other right? No matter what you call it or the ceremony or conventions you use to outwardly illustrate this fact?
I think my parents are still deeply married, it's hard to think back about about a murder. Seems that someone got one through a skull, it takes time to die. Still feeling twitches, not so happy about how dad lived but probably pretty okay about how he died. Dying, I don't really get the lingo down. I like peoples pictures, it seems to help with the words that they share. I think I am tired of people having Rainbow weddings, I am not even sure what is real that I have been told....seems like a lot has been real enough.
What makes you think that married people can't engage in group sex? Who says you have to wear rings when you're married? I don't know where you live, but in the US, married people fall under the same laws as the unmarried people when it comes to orgies. If you're not sure why you would want to get married, then that's a pretty good sign that you shouldn't. Like I always say: A ring does not plug a hole. I got married to say I'm here for the long haul, not just convenience. Divorce can take years, so don't enter into marriage lightly, and don't give up on it too soon. A girl friend may leave because of something insensitive I said. A wife has more at stake and is more likely to work things out. Mostly, we go married so our future children would have a sense of family stability. To let them know they were wanted, and that our relationship is based on love. We didn't get married just because she got knocked up...like my parents did...then got divorced because they never really liked each other that much. Just think of it like a tattoo. You CAN get rid of them, but it's a long and painful process that you really don't want to go through unless absolutely necessary. You should do a lot of soul searching before committing to a tattoo. How is that Hannah Montana tattoo on your shoulder going to look in 30 years? Sure Hannah Montana is cool now, but will I still like her when I'm old and gray? Are you SURE this is someone you want to be with 30 years later, even if they are wrinkled and disfigured. Of course, like a tattoo, it's not guaranteed for life. But you enter the commitment with the intent of a life long relationship. There's a different sense of loyalty and trust compared to other relationships I've been in, because you both made that commitment to each other. A lot of people wish they never got THAT tattoo. Same goes for marriages.
Thinking about this some more, I would hate to be married. It always turns out worse than your own parents. Turns out mine were married from Blizzard, some booze and sex. It turned out great for the sisters, horribly for myself. I think all humans should no longer procreate, I guess if you are really a spirit than sure go for that!
My wife and I are coming up on 21 years as an item. We have been married for something over 15 years. We do not know which of us will ease the other out of this world--perhaps the kindest thing one human being can do for another. But because we are married, doctors, hospitals and the like must honor one's wishes as expressed through the other. And if they do not, the survivor of us has standing to demand satisfaction in court and thereby vindicate the deceased partner. (A very important reason why gays and lesbians fight for the right to marry.) The powers that be cannot ignore or freeze out whichever of us has the dubious good fortune to survive the other. I can't tell you to marry or not. I can tell you that the commitment "in the face of our mortality" aspect of marriage is by far the most meaningful to me and to any number of other people.
Thinking about marriage. i lived with my g/f for 5years it was love we loved each other she wanted marriage but i wasnt shure what i wanted .just wanna say we were happy I will never know now .caus we split up shit happned. but it was the best 5years of my life. yes i wish we got married
I never said married people couldn't have group sex 0o I said it would be good... And I don't think I want to wear a ring anyway.
With that attitude, the marriage is sure to crash. Treat it like a prison and you are doomed to a life of hell. - JKHolman
"I don't want to be bound by lawyers or papers or rings... Or bound by laws that prohibit me or my partner from doing anything we choose to do, together, such as group sex. I've heard of other sorts of commitment ceremonies; my ex's mum and her partner had a pagan one, it was beautiful." Sounds like the PAGAN way is the way for you - though do it for the Faith; Not just for the Sex
I love being married. It's been 14 years and it has never felt claustrophobic ore like a prison. I think it depends on the people involved. On the other hand my in laws have never gotten married but been in a committed relationship for 38 years. I don't think the ceremony is for everyone. That's a wedding not a marriage. 2 totally different things. One is a party and one is your life. The most important part of any relationship is the commitment you have to each other. No paper, rings, lawyer or ceremony can do anything about that. As long as you are both in the same page about your commitment to each other then do whatever feels right. I know this is an old post that got brought back up. I'd be curious to hear where things stand now.
Honestly marriage is work and has highs and lows. Don't let anybody try to bullshit you. The sex can get stale but then get better. You could evolve in ways you never imagined 15 years from now and so could he. You could have a very amicable split years down the road or stay together in bliss forever. Anything is possible but the biggest pain in the ass with marriage is that the government takes it and turns it into a business partnership. His debt is yours and vice versa. If you ever decide to split the government is all up in your ass and wants it done a certain way. If there are kids involved and one of you leaves without doing the legal separation period in your state first then it is considered abandonment and the courts will want to fuck you for that. Keep your relationship pure and based on love and trust, not some government contract. My advice is to have a pagan hand fasting. Invite your friends and family. Do it somewhere scenic. Have a nice ceremony and take vows with a pagan priestess conducting the ceremony. I've been to several and they are as beautiful and magical as any traditional wedding. You can have a reception afterward and even have rings that you bless before or during the actual event. With this things you can walk away after a year and a day or choose to renew your love for another year. Seriously look into it. Hope you have a special day your way.
Mothman has some good points regarding the impact the government puts on you once married, but some of it does make sense though. My big thing is kids. IMHO unless you want to be a single parent, the desire to have children with a person is the most compelling reason I can think of to get married. And I'm not touching the topic of a young unmarried couple who accidently get pregnant, I'm talking about two people who are in love and want to bring kids into the world. In that instance I think Marriage is key, mainly for the "family" structure and also because as Mothman points out, legally it can get very complicated involving kids if you aren't married. That said I also think if two people love each other, want to spend the rest of their lives together however don't want kids, is there really a good compelling reason to get married? It's not like you can't spend the rest of your life with someone without being married. Sure there are some benefits such as medical coverage, life insurance policies, medical emergencies, and other things which you don't realize the importance of until the shit hits the fan I'm married, 14 years now and we have kids, but kids for us was always in the game plan, so when we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and have kids we knew we wanted to get married. But again like Mothman says, there are times when it's not easy and you can't just walk away so easy when married, or with kids and maybe that's a good thing too. It takes a lot of love and commitment to stay with the same person and devote yourself to them. I'm not into swinging or multiple partners and honestly have no idea what I'd say if my wife wanted to do that, not that she ever would though, but we are both a little old fashion
I've been with my husband for almost 20 years. We're married and we can fuck other people. Being married doesn't always mean you'll lose your freedom. But if you don't wanna get married, just don't. As long as you're both happy, who cares for a paper?
Totally up to you Don't let society dictate! Reminds me of this Doug Stanhope bit... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXpsT3e8UsM"]Doug Stanhope - Marriage - YouTube
Don't get married. Go to an orgie and tell the girl sucking your mans dick that she looks like she is enjoying your husbands dick, mind if you join in. Who cares. Is the girl attached to his dick going to ask for a marriage licesne? Orgies are about fantisy anyways. Go have a fantisy. Tell everyone he is your slave and has been ordered to pleasure. Play with it. Marriage is a legality for property, titles and insurance, not much more. Get married or not. No big deal.
