Long lasting love

Do you think it's possible to still be in love with someone long term? Like 20+ years of marriage? I mean, on average, the passion in relationships tends to come to an end after four years. I think most people that stay together for the long run love each other, and don't mind existing together, but being "in love" is just a silly term for lust that the movies made up.


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yes
the key is change. if one partner changes, the other partner must change with them.
if they don't, then they will separate and lock things up from each-other.
it is very possible.
it just takes a strong heart

 

Love sucks?

No you suck.

And yes you can. When you meet the right person love is better then anything you can describe.

 

I don't know. I'm currently into my second year of being in love and wondering whether it's really worth it.

 

And you've been in love for how long?

 

I agree.

 

People make it into some big, romantic deal. It's not that. You find someone you want to marry and who wants to marry you, and then you get married. You go through the whole real life, you do your best to be responsible and kind and helpful, and then you die.

Just keep your focus on taking care of the other people in your life, and you'll be taken care of just fine.

 

I was with my girlfriend for 4 years until I had to move? And if I had never been in love it still wouldnt matter. Saying love sucks is really dumb. If love sucks what doesnt?

 

I didn't say love sucks...

In fact it's probably worth it, I just don't think it's enduring.

 

communication is the key

 

I agree 100% with what standingseated said.

Same goes for the whole soulmate bullshit. No, there's not 1 person who's 'meant' for you, it could be anybody. The importance is compatibility.

 

I agree with that

I have found my life partner, and I do get annoyed at him and I do wonder if it is all worth the hassle but then sometimes I am just so in love it is blinding. the relationship is long distance, so I don't get to see him much, but still, we talk everyday and I can't imagine myself with anyone else. God I sound so naive! But I think you have to feel the warm fuzzy feeling and smile whenever you think of that one person to know what true love feels like I'm infatuated ^^

And no, the relationship isnt perfect, I think if he were perfect I'd find it boring. His imperfections make me work for the relationship, which, in a weird way, is kinda nice.. and almost exciting looking back. It makes me appreciate the good times more when there are vaugely bad times.

 

yes its possible , iv been married over 30 years and love my wife even more than before . she loves me too . we have even good sex in bed.

 

Yes, but it seems to be rare. Helen Fisher's TED talk on this subject is great

 

For me, 27 years so far (married 22).

Lust is what you are thinking about here. That comes and goes. You don't see real love in the movies much.

 

Enduring - yes it can be. Your partner must be your twin soul. Thirteen years in to our marriage and the love between us continues to deepen. It saddens me that a great many will never reach or experience this plateau of love and togetherness. Let me assure you that the lust in the relationship never rests and romance is still a big part of our life.

 

yea-Love hurts its not something you can make happen.its a two way thing

 

Love is not just a feeling, it is an action. To "fall out of love," doesn't just mean you've lost feeling for someone, it means you have given up trying to make it work. Relationships are difficult, they're frustrating, and annoying at times, and giving up is soo easy to do instead of taking time out to work things through. As mentioned earlier, people change, it is inevitable, the ability to adapt, communicate, and have an earnest effort to make things work is what keeps people together.

 

I agree with alot of points in this thread. I'm going on six years with someone I've known for 10+ years. I still get the fuzzy warm feeling in my tummy, similar to butterflies. I don't think that will go away. Every year / month / week / day ,,, etc I find more and more things that make him and I so strong together. I feel like I am still constantly learning of him and accepting new things. A major part is being there, being honest, truthful, willing to actually try for each other. It takes alot of work and effort to be in a long and lasting relationship. I can't see myself with another, he completes so many pieces of who I am. I know from us communicating he feels the same for me. Communication, I can't explain how important it is. Its so important to be open, to be able to speak about all things. Be those things the every day troubles in our lives to silly arguments, AND SEXUALLY. A roommate of mine over heard us talking personally and complimented us on our communication. It felt so great to hear that, life with my love has been very rewarding. Tho we don't plan to have children, and live the usual "american dream", we do have our own dream. There are so many things about life together with another that makes up so much that I love about being with him every single day of my life. I don't know how I'd get to bed every night without feeling his leg against mine under the covers, and my hand in his. I can go on and on, it just reassures this feeling I have and I love the feeling just thinking of US. Its a beautiful thing.

 

communication truly is the key to so many things in life, your story is inspiring glow and restores some of my faith in human beings. I hope you find the same thing you have found one day