Changed after Dexedrine/D-Amphetamine?

I've been taking D-Amphetamine (generic for Dexedrine) 15mg everyday for 2 yrs. I started the month I graduated high school. Honestly, I wanted them to loose weight but it wasn't hard convincing the shrink I needed them to concentrate (even though I graduated with a 4.1). But i definitely have better focus and concentration now... oh and I went from 260lb to 190lb in just over a year.

To say the least, I feel changed. At times, like a different person. In high school I was:
-Sensitive & emotional
-Hard working (but not 'naturally' smart)
-Had no self control/ willpower
-Had ZERO self-confidence...quiet, shy, anxious
-A Hopeless romantic (w/ accompanying hormones) but never dated
-Caring, sympathetic, and loving

The drugs really changed things around. Despite the energy and determination it wasn't until loosing the first 50 pounds that I started to feel comfortable with myself.

In college, classes come naturally. I'm not really challenged (4.0GPA) . Now, I'm so confident that it sometimes borders on narcissism. I spend almost half of my days intensely introspecting and musing about the world.

But I'm also very cold. Emotions are but a thin fog to me now. I'm as objective as possible and am always analyzing things. I still want a relationship but not as much and the sex drive is significantly reduced. Regardless, I finally actually love myself. I'm just not too sure who 'myself' is.

Is who I am now - the way I think and feel - just the pharmacological me? What will happen if I stop the pills? Will my fortified mind start decaying and strip me of my confidence?

My one true pride is my depth. It sounds cocky but I cherish my detached, open-minded, complex, existential and random musings more than anything. Funny thing is no one ever understands me when I talk about it save for one very enlightened friend. I guess I really feel alone...

So I just wanted to see if anyone else is on Dexedrine/D-amphetamine (for legit prescription use not as a recreation drug) and has similar experiences? Any comments would be appreciated.

 

you got older.

 

I don't take those kinds of drugs if I can help it. I like my mind free, thanks.

 

PoetSappho- I know where you're coming from and you're right I definitely could have helped it... But i didn't (and don't) want to stop taking these drugs.

They make me think clearer. I feel like my mind is more free than ever. Before these pills I used to be timid and repressed not just in my personality but in my thoughts.

I've always wanted to think outside the box but I only became open minded after starting the meds. I was rash and easily biased and never saw meaning in much of anything. But in the first years of my meds I literally used to count the 'ah ha's!" and epiphanies I had.

My friends say that I'm deep, wise, and even out-there, crazy, and high (when i'm def. not). This is a long way from what i used to be called just 2yrs ago. I just can't contribute that much change to normal growing up.

but anyways, i'm just rambling about myself and not asking anything so this is kind of pointless... I just wanted to see if anyone else felt like this.

 

of course PSYCHOactive drugs will change you, that's their main aim. I wonder what you would be like w/o them? Probably all of the reasons/problems you took before would be magnified i.e. you were overweight through overeating? well you'll eat more.

Homeostasis & downregulation sucks.