depressing thought but with validity i've been thinking about this tonight in all honesty no one will mourn me when i'm gone i'll be a blimp "where's jessie?" "oh she died" "that's a bummer,whatever.... let's drink" it will be a sad moment in time for my mother if she's still around but that's about it i do not have actual friends and it saddens me
I would be pretty sad if you went. As for me, I stopped caring about that a long time ago. When I'm dead it won't mean a fart whether or not people miss me or not. Like you, I know that my mother will be devastated.
I'd cry if you or andrew died. I would not cry for my father (going to laugh and piss on his grave) mom, my nephew, and my cats would mourn me. dad and sister would pretend to for the attention.
My family. Hubby, daughter, mom , dad, siblings- a few cousins,and aunts- but- I don't think your post is true at all. ..not necessarily because people value you -( I am willing to bet they do more than you realize)..but just because their are too many mourn-a-thon people out there,I am betting there were at least ten in your graduating class, or extended family.So , should you die they will post your picture on their myspace, they will weep at your funeral as if they were the most important person in your life... and they will talk about it at least until someone else dies. ....so, yeah- too many people around me have died lately- and I am becoming a irritable bitter person.
it saddens me to realize i have no friends that i have not played a significant role in someones life regardless of whether or not i will know afterward that means nothing i know this because when i'm missing for months at a time and then come back to not even be acknowledged means i am not significant whatever happens after i'm gone will happen regardless...but to know that i will mean nothing to most people hurts it makes me reevaluate my role in the play that is life
i don't know how to make friends though... life is a series of ups and downs, right know i'm just down whatever in a couple hours i'll be up again no problem i'll go shopping pity is not what i'm looking for i understand that obviously when we die our family will mourn us...but in essence what i am asking is do you feel you've played a role in someone else's life? who will mourn you when you die? someone that you have touched? impacted? changed for the better or worse? i feel that i have not done this...
As long as you're living the kind of life you want to live, whether or not you have friends shouldn't matter. I'm kind of tired of valuing and being valued by other human beings. Jessie, are you doing what you want to do?
impacting someone else' life isn't what's important. it's examing our own life, and not "fixing" it. but, and excuse the hippie sounding platitudes but, overcoming self loathing, and building REAL self esteem. being able to tell a chick (dude) who you have every reason to date, hot, well off, whatever, to go fuck themselves because they are no good for you. because you matter. because you do matter. you matter enough to be here, the odds of you existing are infinitesimal you do. it's not easy, I've been trying for the past three years, and I am NOT where I need to be. but each step closer to it makes you happier.
What do you mean you dont know how? Just talk to people. Don't be annoying. Do something nice for them.
I get friends by being myself. I know a few select people scattered around the place that will mourn me because they respect my genuineness and vice versa. I don't go around looking to impress people and that is why I won't have droves of mourners at my funeral crying while they play "Wing Beneath my Wings". I feel like I am being overly impersonal and indifferent tonight.
death is magical..I know you're out there.. I can feel you now.. I know that you're afraid... you're afraid of us. You're afraid of change... I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end... I came here to tell you how it's going to begin... I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see.. I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries... A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you....
What he said :iagree: You've impacted my life in the short time I've been here. I would be sad if you were not around. I'm not saying this to cement relations, or make an impression, or gain "rep". I'm saying it because it's true. Our short exchange that one night meant more to me than many of the feeble excuses for conversation that have passed since. I learned from that exchange. Not from the flood of negative posts that resulted, but from the genuine fact of your existence, doing what you do, getting what you get. I've been there, on the unappreciated end of the stick. I know what it's like. Me, I don't care so much anymore. In a way, I hope not to leave much of an impression behind when I leave. I'd rather pass relatively quietly when I go, leaving no "footprint". In a lot of ways, my life has been, or could be called "epic fail". No big deal. I gave it a shot. It's enough. There are others to carry on. It's their world now.