Insecure or Cheating?

Hi all,

I'm new to this forum so here's a little background.

I am 22 years old and have been dating my current bf for over 2 and half years. Early on in our relationships, problems arise due to me being insecure. This would cause me to question everything (what you been up too? Is that all? Who's texting you, who are you meeting? where? etc....)

I know through this I have pushed him away. The problem is, do you think my boyfriend is actually cheating or is it just due to my insecurities?

Last night I went to work for 3.5 hours. I came and my bf was painting. I noticed a tissue next to the bed which was damp and stunk of semen. I questioned him on it asking if he had masturbated and he said no, then I asked what about this tissue. He said it could of been an old one and he picked it up of the floor. I sat there looking at him then I said I didn't believe.

My bf got extremely angry and had the last straw (this has happened a few times where Ive not believed what he said and still constantly questioned him).

Whilst talking he said he's fed up of me not trusting him, and he doesn't know what to do anymore. He feels like I'm his father, telling him what to do and always questioning him. He refused to talk about the tissue because in the past he's tried to explain and i never believe him.

Things that confuse me are;

1.) He always asks me to come round to see me.
2.) He is not emotionally distant (earlier that day he wanted to cuddle with me before work.)
3.) He hardly ever goes out much so doesn't really have a chance to meet new people.

Basically I don't know what to do from here?

Is it my insecurities or is he a cheater?

 

I also made it very clear that if he wants he can end this relationship as before I would practically beg to stay. I just don't understand why he would want to stay in a relationship with me if there was someone else as there is nothing keeping him with me. He's said he's not met anyone else and has said before that if there was someone who would make him happier then he wouldn't stay in the relationship.

 

Okay honey. It's been a while, but there have been no new replies so I might as well go. I can't say I know for sure on this one, because it's not me in the situation. And I know you can't be 100% sure that he's being completely honest with you. But it sounds like you have a bit of a trust issue. I have had similar issues with insecurity, and I know it's mainly just because I'm paranoid that I feel like this. But it sounds like you are being a bit overprotective because of your insecurity. I think you need to try to trust your boyfriend a little bit more. From my experience, with my doubts, they are usually being more honest than I think. If he says he wouldn't stay with you if he would be happier with someone else, and he is still with you, he is probably telling the truth. I think you're being a bit possessive though. You need to accept that he can talk to and meet other people, it doesn't mean he is cheating on you. You can hang out with or talk to your friends and just be friends, without cheating on him, right? As for the tissue thing, I can't think why he would want not to admit that he was masturbating if he was, and if he was trying to hide something he would probably just say he had been masturbating to cover it up, so he's probably not lying, I think you could let that one go.
Hope I was a bit of help.