boyfriend wants to try meth

my boyfriend has made a new friend, and his new friend is a meth addict.

my boy has never done meth, and today he told me he wants to try it.

based on his past experiences, i know it's a bad idea. he agreed with me that once he does it once, he's going to do it again and again and again. i'd even suggest that he would do it until it becomes a huge problem, and not even realize it's a problem. maybe that's a rash judgemtent, but i know how he (and i) can be. i told him that i'm happy that he's making new friends, but he can still be a friend and not take on their problems and addictions.

i've done meth, but i've closed that door. i feel hypocritical telling him not to do it, but at the same time, i think my experience makes my opinion hold some weight. i can't tell him what to do... he is a rational being, and i cannot control him. i want him to not want to do it, because HE doesn't want to do it... not because his girlfriend doesn't want him doing it.

he and i have been best friends for about three years, and have been dating for about six months. so, essentially, i know him well enough to say that if he tries it, it has the potential to become a huge problem.

i don't really know what to do in this situation. i was very clear when i told him it was a bad idea. he knows it's a bad idea, but i don't know if he's totally convinced. i'm just afraid that in a moment of weakness or poor judgement, he might decide to try it.

i'm afraid that if i tell him just how much i am against it, that if he does do it, he won't tell me about it.

any advice on what to do in this situation would be very appriciated.
what can i do?
i'm pretty inclined to think that he won't... but if he does, what should i do next?

 

i think you should say that your not going to stop him from doing it but explain to him what you think might happen if he becomes a regular user, and say that you want him to make his own mind up about not using it and that your not trying to make his mind up for him (basically what you said above was pretty much spot on)...

Say you'll go with him if he decides to try it , for i dont know, moral support (i've never tried meth so i dont know if the first trip is bad or not). It 'll give you a good night sleep knowing he did it in front of you, also i reckon you should ask him after his first trip, whether hes going to bother doing it regularly from now on...

I hope that helps you lawngirl, good luck.

 

You are not a hypocrite for advising him not to do something you've tried. The definition of a hypocrite is a person who DOES not practice what they preach, NOT someone who DID not practice what they preach. The only way you would be a hypocrite is if you told him not to do it while you were doing it yourself. Your opinion just holds that much more weight.

If he does it, and does not tell you about it (assuming you find out) then he will have lied to you about a very serious subject. This merits anger on your part, and if you then felt the desire to leave him, you would be justified. If he does it and does tell you about it, he would still have knowingly gone against your wishes about a very serious subject, knowing full well that his decision would hurt you. If you chose to stay with someone who would knowingly (or even by omission) hurt you, that will be up to you.

-Kate

 

Well it is his choice, and you told him how you felt about it.
You are not responsable for his actions, if he is willing to endanger himself and your relationship over this, you should really take a hard look at your future together.

good luck and i hope everything works out for the best

 

Here's what i think...
it is a serous problem, my boyfriend also did it and it really messed him up and he doenst like it and said tat he isnt doing it again.

you have a right to tell him no becuase it is how you feel and you have been there..

also IF you let him try it then you can be there to make sure he doesnt do it again but remeber drugs replace ALL emotions and can serously srew it up but you dont need to listen to me

but hey i said something

oh and Strawberry nice picture of bush it is his stupid side(thne again what isnt)

 

hey pm me

I can talk to you about thissober. I know a LOT about meth

 

thank you for your replies, everyone!

i definitely don't want him doing it... so i won't be there when he tries it. it would be real hard to turn down if it were in front of me... though i definitely would turn it down. i can't open that door again.

8foot, i told him what you said... that this is a decision he must make for himself, and that i in no way approve of him doing it... but i cannot stop him. he just laughed and made jokes, which shocked me, because he's normally able to handle a serious discussion. then one of his friends came over, so he had to get off the phone and said we could talk about it later.

if he does it and lies to me about it, our relationship will most likely end. assuming, like strawberry said, that i'll find out somehow. if he does it and tells me about it... then... i dont know, i guess i'll have to see. i know if he does it once, he'll do it again... but i wouldnt want to end things because he did it; i think that would just make him turn to the drug even more. arghhh! and thank you for assuring me that i'm not a hypocrite, strawberry.

i spoke to him originally before he left for class, and it sounded like he wasn't going to try it. when i spoke to him after class, he sounded like he definitely wants to try it, but might not.

and whispers, you're right... he hasn't even done it yet, or made a decision, and i'm already giving our future a hard, long look.

i pm-ed you, see in blonde.

thank you again for your advice so far, everyone... i've taken every word to heart.

 

hmmm.

i've been thinking about giving him an ultimatum: he can either continue to be with me, or he can try crystal meth.

i don't think it's totally fair for me to do that, though... is it? or is that just a bitchy maneuver?

i want this to be a decision he makes on his own, but at the same time, i don't know if he will make the right decision on his own. i don't want him to resent me for forcing him to not do it... even though it really is for his own good.

what are your thoughts about an ultimatum? is it just a cop-out for not having to deal with the problem? if it's okay to pull the ultimatum card, when would it be appropriate?

 

Mmm...I'd try to avoid the ultimatum at all costs. It would more than likely make him defensive and feel cornered. Try to get around it if you can by using as much reason as possible.

 

Hmm, i think that just proves that you know him pretty well and that you have a really strong opinion against doing meth
(btw, is crystal meth what we call "P" here in NZ?)
If it is, then i dont blame you for having such a strong reason for him not to do it, that shit FUCKS UP anything that is sane about the world we live in, some people who have been selling "P" in NZ are getting scared to sell it b/c of what it does to its users, its a scary drug.

HE ACTUALLY LAUGHED AT YOU WHILE YOU WERE TELLING HIM HOW YOU FELT ABOUT IT??? Thats so stupid, man i hate that guys can do that and not think that there going to hurt anyones feelings.

Well i say, do what ever comes to your mind first thing when you get up in the morning.

Hope it helps, good luck.

 

Meth is a very dangerous drug. If your boyfriend wants to do it, it's his life, but your life doesn't have to be wrapped up in it. I would drop him like a hot potato.

 

yeah, crystal meth is the same thing as 'p.' that's why i was a bit freaked out.

whew. i talked to him again, and i think it's going to be okay. i explained to him what it was like to crash off of it, and i think that's what convinced him. i told him what it was like when i came down from meth, and other additional things he might experience. i told him all about cross-tolerance (which i assume he would have), and all sorts of side effects and consequences, and overdose&addiction info.. it definitely scared the shit out of him.

when he would say things like, "oh, i know it's bad," or, "yeah, there are a million reasons not to do it.. but im still interested," i assumed that he actually knew what those reasons were... but, of course, he definitely didn't. and i didn't tell him all the info at first, because i didn't want him to feel like i was patronizing him. in hind sight, that was just silly of me to assume. he was under the assumption that a meth experience would be exactly like doing coke, so he didn't bother to find out anything about it. i just assume thats what most people do... research the drug before you consider doing it. how could you not? aye.

reasoning with him worked; i didn't give him an ultimatum. i think it was the fact that he originally laughed at me when i tried talking to him about it that inspired that idea. initially, the very last thing i wanted to do was give him an ultimatum... but when he made jokes about my concerns, i just got livid. strawberry, you're right.. it would have totally made him feel defensive.

thank you for the advice again. i appriciate you guys taking the time to read my rambling posts. you really helped keep things in perspective.

 

smokinmg or eating it.?

 

the coke crahs is way worikse.

 

yer but with "P", some people can become violent while on it. At school we got shown this slide show of what happend when this police-man showed up to a scene where this guy had holes in his flesh becauce he thought worms were tunneling through his skin so he was trying to catch them so he got a knife and dug out his skin...twas very disturbing. we got told a story of someone who thought their kids were burning so they ran a bath and drowned their kids because they thought they were putting the flames out. it's not like normal drugs where you just trip, it apparently makes unthinkable things seem extreamly real
(i wouldnt know and will never ever know because ive been traumatised by the many pictures seen during "P" presentaions at school, which is a good thing). They showed this guy on T.V here aswell coming down off "P" and he just would not stop smashing his head into the wall, the orderlies and nusrses, even the male nurses were afraid of him. It was so sad, all he was sceaming for was more.
(None of the things i've said here have been made up to scare anybody off using the drug, it's your choice if you want to use it, but be carefull, it's a Fucked up drug!

 

Let me try this sober.

First of all, meth is in no way comparable to pcp. I have never done meth, but have been around it a good amount, and I know all the effects. It's just a euphoric high, that slowly comes down and will keep you up for sometimes days. Smoking it fucks you up WAY more than eating it. It is not a drug that turns you into a junkie after trying it once, but it is damn addictive. Especially when you are up, it is super easy to want more and go on insane binges. It's not as bad as most people think, although I would never touch it and don't recommend anyone else does. But the crash is actually way less severe than a coke crash... One thing to note. If your boyfriend has a history of abuse, especially uppers, it's probably best he doesn't try meth and see how good it feels. It's a fucked up path to sobriety once you are a tweaker.

Hope that helps some. If you have anymore questions feel free to ask.

 

oops sorry, the confusion about 'p' might be my fault...

8foot asked if crystal meth was the same thing as 'p' in nz.. so i googled it, and found an article that said 'p' is what they call meth in nz. then again, i might have just found a bad source. sorry about any confusion that might have caused.

the crash i got off of meth was much worse than i've ever gotten off of coke. then again, i did meth a few months before i had ever done coke, so maybe it had something to do with tolerance. meth gives me insomnia for a couple days, coke only a few hours, tops. crystal made me twitch and itch after it wore off, and that doesn't happen with coke. my brain went haywire, then into a funky depression for a few weeks. etc, etc. the descent was slower than coke, yes, but the lingering after-effects were much harsher and lasted much longer. or it did for me, anyway... everyone reacts at least slightly differently. since my boyfriend's got a history of depression, i figured the after-effects would probably include lingering depression, like they did for me. and yeah, he does have a history of using uppers... so you're right again, it's a bad idea. thanks for all the info.

 

Yeah I was wondering... Never heard dust called P before, but then again I'm don't claim to know everything about drugs so I went with it. Yeah it definitely affects everyone different. Also your body could have been off balance from something else. I know a few meth heads who function pretty damn well despite their habit. Coke heads tend to fuck up way more. Just the observations from one guy though. Either way, it's bad. I hope he doesn't try it. And yes if he gets depressed at times, that is a bad idea in itself. I could be wrong, but I think meth causes a huge release of serontonin. After it wears off those neuro transmitters are all out of whack, and you'll get depressed as hell. If I don't take SSRI's the same thing happens to me just from taking my Adderall. I can't imagine meth...

 

yeah, i think you're right about it effecting serotonin. definitely a bad idea.

also, i looked over your other post again, and i noticed that you said smoking it can fuck you up worse. maybe that's why i had such a bad come down, cause i was sniffing and smoking it.

i know coke can cause hallucinations, but how often does meth?
when i was coming down from meth, i'd see things like a bug crawling around on the floor.. but once i really focused on it, i'd realize it was just a piece of lint or something. or i'd see a movement of color/light/shadow out of the corner of my eye, but nothing would be there to cause it.

 

Stuff doing a drug where you see BUGS, im shit scared of them. If i hallucinated about seeing 1 bug then that halucination would probably snowball into a million bugs. EWWW yuk! Just stick to weed i think lol.