I Need Advice about my 2Faced Little cousin-PLEASE HELP

In a nutshell, I have an 18 yr old little cousin and to me she is like my little sister(Im an only child) and i have known her well..since she was born really.


Last Dec, She would have been sitting in the house doing pretty much nothing,I got her out the house quite a lot, asked her to the pub,Introduced her to my friends with thinking well if im not in the pub and she goes there she will have people to talk to, im not ashamed to admit this i deal with depression and anxiety,ocd and im on anti depressents and i drink. End of dec i suffered a HUGE paranoid/anxiety attack thinking she had fell out with me,she hadnt but was trying to get in contact to see what was"wrong" So through the year a few times i thought she had fell out with but it again was my paranoia and each time i saw her i aplogised to her to her face for being like that and she would never reply to my txts,stop replying to me on a social networking site but everytime i saw her up town id be like"we cool?"etc& she said yes& if i was annoying her she said she would tell me,again no reply to my txts,online msg's,she tells me things are ok but then goes and ignores me and and when she said she would add me to her friends list on a social networking site, she turns round and declines my request, to me i feel she been lying a lot to me and very 2faced ,Any Idea WHY she is being this way?? i know she has been lying to me and 2faced.

& if i was being annoying she said she would tell me,again no reply to my txts,online msg's,she tells me things are ok but then goes and ignores me and and when she said she would add me to her friends list on a social networking site, she turns round and declines my request, to me i feel she been lying a lot to me and very 2faced ,Any Idea WHY she is being this way?? i know she has been lying to me and 2faced. Of Course iam Hurt and angry and In The Pub on Saturday I was standing at the jukeboxwith my friend, i saw her and her friend enter, i shot her a pissed off look, 5 mins later my friend and i go to our seats and drinks, within seconds she has drank her drink quickly, storms out the pub with her friend walking behind her Also later on that night i was in another pub and had my back turned and she walked in front of me with a very pissed off look....I mean i have said to several friends in the bar that look out for her if she gets into trouble and help her and they said they would as she is my cuz and would call me..Iam Hurt and confused why she is being like this.

Please Help.

 

I'm not going into a deep analysis of her. But I have to ask why is her opinion so important . She's 18 whatever her problem is it seems to leave her acting unstable. As her friend you shouldn't rely on her. If she ignores your messages you shouldn't be surprised or hurt it seems like you let yourself get hurt by her. As an older family member you should have her back if she comes for you for help, but if she doesn't want to hang out with you or doesn't care enough to respond to your messages I don't see the point getting upset. Why she can't say this to your face doesn't matter? Actions are always louder than words and I hope that you don't have to have a stare down ever time you guys meet and that you do not let animosity keep growing. Just say some time "everything's cool right" if it isn't talk it out and if it is don't expect her to respond to your message and you don't need to worry about the stare down. If you really like hanging with her just waiting for her to approach you is the best way. If not when she comes (social not for help) then just put her off gently. Since she's family I have a different two cents then if she's not.

 

sometimes, people just aren't on the same page. she just prolly has a totally different lifestyle, that she may just not want to share with you. throught no fault of your own. maybe she just doesnt want to hurt your feelings, but her reasons for not reaching out to you may be because of her own guilt, wether she feels guilty for not responding to you, or she feels guilty about her lifestyle. and thinking of you as a sister, she would feel like a bad role model if she has certain things going on in her life. when she says everything is cool, she means she doesnt have anything ugly in her heart against you, so you know its not personal.

also, i've come to realize that when someone doesnt want to hurt someone elses feelings, the tend to come off as being "twofaced", but im pretty sure that isnt her intention in this case.