Oh....... My........ God..........

Okay.

Okay.....

Okay.

I can't begin to explain how fucked up tonight was. But here we go.

I went to go meet this girl I met off this website. Her and her hot metal chick friend were chillin. This chick lives sooooo far away. Like a 3 and a half hour walk. At 9:30 her dad called her and said he was too tired to drive me back into the city (she lives in the middle of nowhere).

So I was pissed. PISSED. Stranded out in the country.

Then I knew what I had to do... Steal a fuckin' bike. I said "okay girls we gotta go scope out a bike". They laughed and didn't think I was serious... But I was very serious.

So we start walking through a survey. I spotted one right beside a house!! I said "okay I'll got get this bike, and ride down to the end of the street. I'll wait for you guys there".

I got closer to the bike and was like "aww fuck this is a little girls bike".

I hopped on and it was actually a really good bike. A good seat and was pretty fast.

We started walking towards the highway so I could get home. At the end of the normal road we said goodbye and I was on my way.

Okay, I'm riding on the highway at 10:00. Hardly any cars, maybe 25 went by at the most. I was listening to music at one point and goin' nice and fast when all of a sudden a beam of light comes from behind me and I knew what it was.... I turned hard left as fast as I could and the car screeched it's brakes. I was like "Oh my god, I almost died there".

I turned off the music after that.

So I'm drivin' along. And then I see it... Mcdonalds! Tim Hortons! A grocery store! I was back in the city. CIVILIZATION!!!!

I felt so happy because I knew where I was now. About 5 minutes into being in the city it gets scary.......

Ok, this is where the story REALLY begins.

I see a cop turn his lights on and I thought "this better not be for me" and he turned around and I was like "awwww shit I'm fucked".

He stopped and I stopped too. He said "what the hell are you doing" and I said "just tryin' to get home man" and he said "It's pitch black out, I can't see you at all kid. Your dressed in black, your reflectors are broke, no helmet. Your out of your mind kid, your lucky your not dead",

Then he asked me all the normal bullshit.. Name, address, D.O.B.

He says "okay you want a ride?" I said "...Uhh I can't man. My parents would kill me if I got brought home by the cops". He laughed and said "don't worry, I'll drop you off a street before or something".

The whole time he was talking to me I was SO nervous. I had a little over a half O on me all baggied up, a scale, and the stolen bike.

So we put the car in the trunk and he opened the door for me. I slid in and hit my head right off the plexiglass that seperates the seats (I did that the other time I got arrested too). The cop starts howling laughing at me. Normally I would tell someone to fuck right if they laughed at me for that, but this was a cop. And I didn't wanna risk pissing him off.

Then a couple minutes into the drive I think to myself "oh my god, I have to record this".

So I pulled out my mp3 player and hit record. We didn't talk much. He just told me how it wasn't safe and stuff. I asked him how the night was going and shit. He seemed like a cool guy.

When we got near my house he let me out and helped get the bike out. He shook my hand and stuff. Then he was like "You like Metallica?" I'm like "oh yeah man". And he said "Shit, I shoulda played some of that in the car for ya".

Then I left. I went down to the field to ditch the bike but then I thought "no, I can't do it here". So I hid it in in this old parking lot that none really goes to and put it behind a van.

I was shitting my pants the whole time. If he searched my bag I would have been fucked.

This was a fucked up night...

I'm gonna upload the recording to a site in the next couple minutes....

Such a fucked up night.

 

did he give u a free piece of bacon ?

 

You're so lucky karma is just a bunch of hippie bullshit.

 

Shit man. Thats intense. Im surprised he didnt question the little girls bike.

 

Shouldn't have stolen the bike, but that's no biggy.

All in all, sounds like an adventure.

 

How is that fucked up?


Seems pretty cool to me.
Thrilling...
Like a movie or something...

 

I know. I felt absolutely terrible for taking the bike.

I hate stealing bikes. But I was stranded with no ride home.

I consider that an emergency. It was a bad thing for me to do, but I wasn't walking down the fuckin' highway. That's for damn sure.

 

Probably thought that OP was a homo, but he was sympathetic because he has a gay brother that's frowned upon by the entire family but he knows that he's a good guy inside even though he disagrees with the lifestyle.

 

what a dickmouth dad...

i dont get why you went to hang out with said chick if you ddnt get any play though

 

That's what I thought.

It was just a purple bike. There weren't flowers or anything on it.

It could have been a boys bike for all I know... I just assumed it was a girls because of the size and colour lol.

 

You can usually tell by the bar:



Chick bike.



Dude bike.

 

I know, he even picked me up at a Walmart at first and said he'd drive me home.

I went because I've talked to her a lot on msn. And she told me like her life story. Then she said how I was the first person that she could have a "real" conversation with.

For a decently hot chick she was screwed up in the head. Not retarded... Just crazy and addicted to random pills.

I would have fucked her or her friend in a second if I wasn't with someone...

 

Yeah, stealing a bike is dickish, however I understand the need. It's like stealing a loaf of bread when you're poor or something. But yeah, that is a ridiculous story. I almost poo myself whenever I have anything just in the car w/ me & I pass a cop. I couldn't imagine being in a cop car while having a bag of weed w/ me. And yeah, like someone else said, I'm surprised he didnt say anything about the bike b/c it clearly wasn't yours.

 

Dudee ='O ... You Rock Hard ! =D

 

The funniest thing that happened in the car was this.

Me: At least I was riding on the shoulder man.
Cope: Yeah... At least that's half smart.

I almost bursted out laughing, but I was able to control it.

 

some cops are actually chill dudes.

if you ever stole my bike id prolapse your anus through your mouth

 

No. You'll bitch about it and then ask your parents for money to buy a new one.

 

This was a pretty cool cop. He could have arrested me for riding without a helmet or being on the highway...

And just don't leave your bike unlocked outside your house and it won't get stolen.

 

wow - i totally would, wouldn't i?

what would i do if my car broke down, then?!

 

Yes, you wouldn't know who stole your bike.

Hell, I'd probably bitch about it myself and then build myself a new one out of old bikes.

You'd call AAA if your car broke down, that is if you're white enough.