about "moral values"...kinda personal

I've never posted much on this forum before, but I write poetry all the time. Here's one I wrote recently - we had to write something in response to a prompt which quoted the adage "the personal is political." It's basically about the great irony that the Bible belt is so gung-ho for so-called "Family Values" yet they're throwing their own kids out of the house if they're gay.

Takin’ Out the Trash

We’ve got life for sale –

What’s yours worth?

Four bucks an hour, or a grand?

No such thing as class here in an America

That cuts the fruit from the vine

See the way we treat our kids?

Root around the trash can of

offspring tarnished with

unfortunate genetic defects:

that’s where you’ll find

The morally devalued American rejects.

Because, well…

It takes a lot of screwing up

to get kicked out of the house

at 15.

More than failing a test

hitting your sister

or crashing the car.

Musta crossed a thicker line somewhere

Maybe just being honest, youthful flag of truth

burned with a gasp

Chucked out the back door

Console yourself: it was for the best.

Otherwise someone,

God or country,

would have intervened.

So go ahead!

Push it all back! throw it to the deep dark

censor squash shovel throw away cover up

hide deny betray conceal and finally forget


And if you do reject
your own creation

expecting a thank-you note

to appear in your mailbox

red white n’ blue trim

That reads:

Thank you for being God today.

She can’t make all these decisions

Herself




Don’t count on it

She’s up to the clouds
in paperwork

always a new kid pulling the trigger

shooting up feeling alone feeling helpless

feeling sick feeling betrayed

that’s a lot of prayers to answer

Besides, She reserves

all after-dinner thought

for the Catholic Church.


Busy, busy busy

One can imagine the relief
that America, in the name of God

decided to take Family Values

– quote, unquote –

into her own hands.

 

wow, sorry about the size. i thought the font had adjusted. plus the spacing is all fucked up. oh well, you get the idea.

 

I know how you feel and there's a lot of energy here in the phrasing. It is something that needs to be told and retold. But it's too long. I was ready for the ending here:


Thank you for being God today.

She can’t make all these decisions

Herself

I'd put some time in around that passage and you could have a helluva an exit. Good luck!

 

I really liked that rock n roll girl! Keep it up

 

Nice work, rocknroll girl! this part hit the strongest for me; one of my best friends quit doing drugs, drinking, and smoking, got a promotion at his job, and is doing the best I've ever seen him do, so he told his mom, who didn't know his history... She replied "well if you had christ you would have never had to go through that" and disowned him.

Just thought I'd share that.... thanks for sharing this!

 

Fantastic! Channel that frustration into something creative...and pass it on for free!
We're all poets, if we let ourselves be!

S

 

Thank you so much, guys. Yeah, I agree that it was drawn out and that a sharper ending would be more effective. There were some parts I enjoyed writing, but others felt forced and cliched (some of the cliches were sarcastic, though, such as all the synonyms for "deny.") Maybe I'll end with "don't count on it" and stick the family values line in their beforehand.


much appreciation for the comments

 

those are my favorite lines...i like how u refer to God as a "she"...not many ppl do...good flow and bits of sarcasm...i liked it...

 

mmm, yeah, for some reason I typed He at first


then I realized, I think of basically everything in a woman context, why should I think of God otherwise? I don't know what I believe, anyway