A rant you may or may not want to read

I just wrote this up on another forum, I wanted to share it with you guys:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

SWIM saw an old friend yesterday who used to accompany SWIM in grand adventures through psychotropic playgrounds. SWIM met his buddy the first week of college in the dorms and for a few years SWIM found himself, his girl, and his friend together at all times. SWIMs friend began to develop habits of excess with a great many things over the years and it was hard to watch such a talented young person's mental stability and passion for life diminish so rapidly. Although SWIM partook in many things, SWIM doesn't feel he followed the rabbit as deep down the hole as his old friend. SWIMs friend stopped going to school, began working in the restaurant industry and drifted away from SWIM and SWIMette as he found new aquaintances more accepting of his new direction.

SWIMs friend eventually made a poor decision involving crystaline LSD, half a bottle of xannax and god knows how much whiskey. His dear friend entered into a prolonged state of psychosis following an epicly bad experience from which he has never fully recovered-- forgive SWIM if he finds this hard to explain, but that youthful fire in his eyes has never returned. SWIM is very thankful that his amigo had a supportive girlfriend and parents that would absolutely never give up on him. SWIM only wonders now had some of us been better friends, could we have steered him in a better direction? On a happy note, SWIMs buddy went through drug and alcohol rehab, finished college clean and sober and now works to help other youngsters as a drug rehab counselor.


SWIM just wanted to take a moment to ask everyone reflect on those whose paths we have crossed in our lifetimes. Those that are still with us, and those who have chosen different paths, and those whose paths have ended all too early. SWIM feels it extremely important to be ever-grateful of what we have been given, but even moreso to be aware of what all we risk losing. The majority of swimmers out there have no problems partaking in a responsible manner, but SWIM knows all too well that everyone can go through rough patches in life and isolate themselves into making poor decisions.

SWIM urges everyone to be responsible about their drug habits (unfortunately there's no guidelines for responsible usage-- but everyone who parties knows 'that guy'), to be honest about one's own mental health, and to have the courage to seek guidance when/if you find yourself in a darkening cycle. But further more, fellow swimmers, don't stand idly by and watch someone you know self-destruct when you know that you should say something to that person or inform someone who will. Good friends are hard to come by, and everyone needs to be picked up and dusted off from time to time. You may feel awkward confronting someone about habits you yourself are not ready to give up, and you will likely lose a friend for atleast a period of time as it is often necessary for these folks to seperate themselves from negative influences of the past, but in the long run you will both be thankful the topic was raised.

Reading this probably doesn't give you warm fuzzy feelings all over... There's no doubt every situation is different and SWIM certainly doesn’t have all the answers, but he wanted to get some things off his mind. Now another short story--

SWIM ran into a girl at bonnaroo who had a head full of acid and was headed towards a nightmare she would likely never forget as her boyfriend of 2 years broke up with her just after dosing so he could go run off with another female and a bag of moli. SWIM was pretty spun, halfway lost, trying to find his way back to his campsite so he could ditch his sweatshirt when he came upon her. SWIM recalls seeing sadness in her eyes as if she had just lost her best friend in the world. First instict was, 'damn that sux', but suddenly a wave of empathy came over SWIM as he remembered all of his friends who had their first "bad one" and he took a seat next to her without speaking a word. Babysitting someone on a bad trip is not necessarily the funnest thing to do, especially when you are having a perfectly wonderful time yourself, but SWIM feels he helped turn a pile of shit into something very productive as we discussed philosophy of life, relationships, and the need welcome change. SWIM tried to keep the emphasis of the conversation away from the events of that evening and more towards where she had come from, where she wants to be going, and how speedbumps along the way play an important part in shaping who we will become. Eventually the drugs really wore off as the sun began to rise. We shared a few beers and SWIM remembers catching a glimpse of her beginning to smile as the sun rose over the tent city. She joked that she hoped he enjoyed his time last night because walking back to vermont wasn't going to be nearly so fun-- funny thing is she wasn't joking. She was now aware of her own worth not only as a beautiful girl but an awesome person who deserves more. SWIM helped her pack up her jeep, gave her a hug and as she drove off the thought of a buttefly emerging from its coccoon filled SWIMs mind.

Although you may not know someone well, it never hurts to extend a friendly hand. Oftentimes you never know how appreciated your actions will be. In past lifetimes, SWIM must admit that his reaction to similar situations was to turn and run and he feels guilty for what he sees as his own selfishness.






SWIM feels emotion pouring from his fingertips as he writes this and could likely continue to ponder the matter much further, but is honest about his writing skills and knows most of you are probably looking for an abridged version already


Please feel free to discuss your thoughts on the matter, critique SWIM's point of view or actions, and perhaps you will take a piece of this with you and continue to spread love to all our fellow human beings.

---------------------------------------------------------

 

"SWIM" doesn't really do anything besides make the article a pain to read btw, lol.

That's unfortunate really though, I had a kid like that in my area take the psychedelics a tad bit too far, and he still is. He isn't even aware of how off beat he is, he can barely form a coherent sentence.. lol, and now he's just doing any drug available.

Oh well. People seem hard to get to when they start getting like that. What can you really say to slow them down?

 

People tend to take drugs as a spiritual tool, but I've seen it happen time and time again. Have many friend who have abused drugs and ended up in a bad place.

 

As a person, thanks for helping her.

 

LOL! My head is SWIMming after trying to read that...

 

it was so hard to read!!!! lol

 

No doubt a valid question, one to which there is not a single proper response. I feel as though many people use drugs (not LSD in particular, but hard drugs in general) to avoid confrontation with reality due to a deeper psychological issue whether or be depression, social anxiety, or what have you. Instead of seeking productive outlets to channel that extra brainpower, people tend to take the easy route and inhebriate. The real kicker is that eventually the drugs stop giving a person the high they desire so much, and they hit rock bottom.

Unfortunately, I feel it is often times only at this point when a person can make a change for the better. The first step is one of self-realization and then they must be commited to making a turn towards being sober. The people that tend to hit rockbottom are generally extremely smart, talented individuals who simply lose their desire forward in life. The whole act of getting high is not what entirely does it for them, as they have a unfulfillable desire that most people aren't capable of comprehending. No amount of money, fame, pussy, cars, etc is going to satiate this.

I basically quit using most drugs several years ago, im a twice weekly toker, and occasional tripper. I went through a rough phaze of my life a few years back, but I had good friends who dragged me from that path and showed me a better way no matter how many times I blew them off or how far my head was shoved up my own ass. Luckily I don't have an extremely addictive personality, but I feel like I'm on the edge and can relate alot more to those who struggle with substance abuse than most.

I apologize about the clarity and direction my drug-induced rant this morning. I recently had a heart to heart with my old friend and he told me some rather chilling things about how close he was to calling it quits. I find that alot of people tend to turn their backs to those that can no longer play the game, saying things like "wow yeah he/she has been acting real crazy lately" and oftentimes with good reason not including them in social activities. I feel like people tend to forget they used to be friends with that person, and as long as they havn't personally fucked you over you owe it to them to let them know you support them as much as possible.

Needless to say, I had a insightful experience last night. One that made me worry about a couple of friends who have drifted into isolation over the past months and what I can do to let the know they don't have to go it alone. Sure they may be acting kind of 'crazy', but as these people realize their need to change, giving support to their efforts in whatever way works should be the least we can do to get people back on track.

A followup question:
If one of your best friends that you really loved fell into a really bad drug habit, would you notify his family or others that care about him/her, in order to bring the full court press so to speak? Realizing full well you may destroy a friendship in atleast the short term for outting him, when do you know its time to intervene, if ever?

I wouldn't consider doing that for most people I know even though many of them tend to drink and smoke herbz on a near daily basis. I've known people like you and me who turn into raging coke/meth/H addicts in a matter of months, and in the past I've tended to turn my head and just assume its not my decision to be made. I distanced myself and moved on as these were not the type of people I tended to hang out with.

I've never called someone's parents or anything like that, but I had a strong close-eyed experience last night where I was first person in my own body at an old roomates wake. I watched as his mother for lack of better words completely broke down in the front row. Drawing these memories back up and the mental images associated with them sent chills deep as waves of guilt washed over me.

I thought about standing in the cathedral at age 6, watching my family bury my mom's sister after her long struggle with depression/drugs and finally overdose/suicide. Innocent and oblivious to the brevity of the situation, I failed to take much away from the tragedy aside from a few images that my opened mind easily connected to fully relive the event from an adult mindset.

Believe you me, my mind doesnt usually ever have the urge to wander down this path when im halucinating, but as awful as the above may sound, this was not a rollercoaster ride I was trying to get off of. Calm, gentle revelations of emotion turned into waves of euphoria as I felt empowered with this new gift of insight to go forth a better, more caring individual.

I felt a great sense of blessing today, thankfulness for all I have done and all I have seen, but knowledge that, at least at this point in my life, everything has really fallen in place. Any problems of mine are rather trivial compared to others' around me and I should be more empathetic and lend a hand to lift up those that have fallen behind lest I know the day may come when I need a little help from a friend

 

Well try this approach.

The bible says...

If your brother wrongs you, go and show him his fault, between you and him privately. If he listens to you, you have won back your brother.
Matthew 18:15

 

Insightful you are my hawaiin friend... does that mean a serious sit-down, blunt and straight to the point, "I don't agree with x, that shit isn't healthy", or does it ever get to that? I feel like sometimes when I tried to drop subtle hints to someone I genuinely care about they are quick to brush off the judgement and without much confidence pronounce the fact that they do not have a problem and they are just having fun.

These type of habits are often hard to break down into a logical debate, as soon as one points out that this behavior often leads to some negative consequences, the person tries to flip the argument on you or flat out refuses to acknowledge it.

I think everyone judges people, whether it be by the way they carry themselves, converse with others, or what they choose to do with their free time... I do my best to withhold judgement pending a fair assessment of the person/situation, and I find myself rather non-confrontational when it comes to passing judgement. I try to get my point across in a subtle manner which as I said is often brushed off, leaving me wondering if they can't respect my opinions in the most sincere way I can put them, how can they deal with what I'd like to say? I personally don't do well with someone yelling at me, telling me what to do without taking my POV into consideration, but addicts have such a skewed perception-- where is the middle ground?

 

You need to be lovingly blunt. It worked on me to get me off crack years ago.

That verse goes on...

"But if he does not listen, take along with you one or two others, so that every word may be confirmed and upheld by the testimony of two or three witnesses.

If he pays no attention to them [refusing to listen and obey], tell it to the church;(substitute his community of family/friends) and if he refuses to listen even to the church, (substitute his community of family/friends) let him be to you as a pagan and a tax collector." (they didn't like tax collectors in the bible...hmmm)

It's called tough love. Don't become an enabler, that does more harm than good.

Good luck my brother. :cheers2:

 

Well, the thread title did warn us I suppose

 

IS there a word,

in ANY language,

that means i-love-you-and-care-about-you-more-than-you-could-ever-know-and-if-you-want-to-get-away-from-your-life,THAT-far,Give-it-to-Something-higher-than-yourself-and-still-stay-here,with-the-rest-of-us?

'Cuz i don't know what it is...



and if it's really out there,

i'd truly like to know what it is!

 

I think you've got the general idea right, but the semantics of following through with my intended purpose are going to require significant forethought as to not close any doors before I have a chance to open any minds.

Generally, in years past I wouldn't so much consider myself an enabler as a friend who lives vicariously through others. I felt like no matter what I was doing or how responsible I was being, some friends of mine would find others like themselves to justify their actions and take sanctuary in their combined excuses.

That being said, I would, perhaps a few times a year get a wild hair and feel like going out and eating a dose, and a xannax, and doing some blow or whatever the night led us into. Far from a regular occurrence, I feel little shame in admitting this, but makes me curious to wonder if these persons just spread out their sinful ways among many people to lessen the ... judgement passed their way?

Just out of curiosity my hawaiin friend, do you find great insight in scripture? Just curious because you said you kicked the crack habit cheers2, and I know most rehab options seem to be the 12 step program centered on putting your faith in a god. I find myself to be an atheist after logically debating the existence of deities in my own head over many years, although I must admit I cannot prove my theories or disprove the theories of others this is where I've wound up and feel many others feel as I do.

So, if one truly doesn't believe in a higher power, then they are infact completely responsible for their own fate, and that leads me to question the effectiveness of the 12-step like process on said individuals as it is (as I understand it) a prerequisite to accept that you have no power of your actions and you must place your faith in a higher power.

Geeze, I always knew making a logical, well-flowing argument was never my cup of tea, but is it really that hard to read? Would it help if I went and replaced swims and he's with I's? I guess I can't expect much after a night on 600 mics of fluff

 

no it isn't hard.
people are just lazy and do not like to read long posts

 

Yeah..this is much better...

 

You know,

sometimes you just HAVE to hate folks...

As an example?

i'm reading along, stoned to the bone, thinking i'm getting the munchies-what's to eat?-

and SKIM the post,

only to find YOU,

posting about us SKIMMERS!!!

Yeah.

Some peeps...

 

Or,

in my semi-immortal words:

...

uhg...

i sort of forgot what they were...

BUT THEY WERE semi-IMMORTAL,

i can PROMISE you THAT! :rofl:

 

get used to it
I'm ALL OVER these forums :cheers2:

 

And the thing of it is?

It was ONLY TWO WORDS...


Thank GOD for decent herb!!!

 

lolWut?