Outside of my own home they always seem to be a hassle. My entire family eats meat, and I always feel so out of place at dinners. After 5 years i thought i was used to the feeling of being a burden, but tonight was kind of lame. They ordered Chinese for my G-pas birthday and every single item had meat in it aside from rice. I was expected to just sit there and eat a bunch of rice, and when i had finished my little spoonful i was continually asked why i wasn't eating any more. >_<! I wonder. Christmas dinners are usually fine, I have my tofurky prepared and all is well, but it's nights like tonight that just make me feel awkward. I just felt the need to vent Does anyone else have this problem? Most times there are vegetables and other options for me, and I will be content with that, but they still seem to think they need to get a bunch more food-they make it a hassle. Which is where the 'burden' feeling comes from I guess. :cheers2:
(((((((((hugs!!!))))))))) Yep, I get it too. My parents are constantly trying to find "a nice place" where they can take all of their kids & grandkids. They're really good about checking the menu for what's low-carb & gluten-free, but "that vegetarian thing" kind of gets forgotten. This last time, we all went out to Olive Garden where the ONLY thing I could eat was the salad - sans croutons. It was one of the nicest (meaning there was more than just iceburg lettuce) salads I'd had OUT somewhere in quite some time, and I didn't think anything of it until halfway through dinner when my mom realized that was my entire dinner & had a bit of a conniption fit because that was ALL I was eating. (sigh - this from the person who invites us over for dinner, announces the menu, and cheerfully announces "and you can make a salad!") It's so much easier to just invite everyone over some days, isn't it? love, mom
I get it, and it frustrates me with a stepparent who was veg "back in the 70s." So I missed that label by 12 months, going veg in Nov 1980, but geeze, did you forget everything? In our home, which is mixed, the rule is veg in home, order what you want outside. Dealing with extended family is difficult. My inlaws are the worst. They act like they will die if they don't get six serving of carcass/ byproducts each day. So here's some of my coping with the clueless hints: absolutely know your boundaries (I don't freak over traces of egg/milk in a difficult situation, IF it is truly the best option. But I know that I'll eat baked potato and salad with oil/vinegar if available. Did I mention I don't like iceberg salad?) Have suggestions (ie: could we get a small portion of country style tofu and veggies with that order? I'll pay for it" or The XYZ restaurant has dishes we all can eat) have snacks. (meal bars are your friend) Ask discreetly about options for a veg*n.
Same here! My family too eats meat, all except me. Initially, they felt awkward around the dinner table which made me feel awkward, especially those special occasions...my dad's side is filipino and all their dishes (even side dishes) have meat in them. I feel bad just sitting there with my bowl of rice and vegetables while they pig out. My mom's side is Mexican and it's just as bad. What's worst is that they make me feel bad and I don't even ask for anything just for me. When they offer to make something on the side, they do it last (which makes me feel bad) or they make a huge deal out of it. But I brush it off now. Not that weird anymore.
I've been a vegetarian for over a decade and I still feel like a burden. My family has never made an offer or effort to make any dishes meat-free at family dinners and get togethers, yet they act offended when I bring my own food to eat. (And it's not a matter of not bringing enough to share, I've offered and no one wants my "tofu crap". haha) My boyfriends parents and a couple they hang out with are great about it when I'm around though. They usually make small portions of stuff without meat if they know in advance that I'm going to be there, and there's always a plain veggie salad and bread. These are BBQing fools too, so it really surprises me how gracious they are to me. Sometimes you just have to grin and bear it because some people will never be accepting of it. Nowadays I always stop at Subway and get a veggie sub before family dinners and just sneak it in the fridge when I arrive. If there are vegetarian dishes, awesome! If not, I head for the sub. I usually decline restaurant dinner invites if I can't see a menu first or know there are no options to save myself and the rest of the party from feeling awkward.
