Do you ever feel like you have several sides of the same self?

For example, I feel as if one side of myself is crude, selfish and cowardly and another is tasteful, compassionate and brave.

Do you ever wish that you could banish the bad part of you forever? Do you ever feel like the bad part of you swallows up all of the good things about you and wrecks your life? What does it take to bring out the better side? Another person? Purpose? Action?

I know its more complicated than that in reality, but I am being simplistic for the sake of discussion.

 

I embrace the "bad" parts of me, they give the "good" parts depth.

I'm crass, and genteel. and sometimes one is more efficient, other times, the other is.

and sometimes one just feels better than the other


they are not sides of self

merely tools utilized by self


a tendency towards each, a bias, is who we are. and why we have those biases.

 

I need the bad to balance the good. I tried in the past to be a "perfect lady", I was miserable and everyone treated me like a doormat. I decided to be selfish again and be crude and rude when I wanted. It was liberating, but I understood that I needed the balance within myself. I don't think it's bad to be selfish, you have to look out for yourself because no one else will.

 

i'm alot smarter and wise than i let on but i've always been told to dumb myself down
i'm also alot more sensitive and vulnerable than i let on
i use humor as a defense mechanism
i come off as a train wreck alot of the time, that is a part of me i'd love to be able to hide...or eventually change
i am a strong woman and sometimes i wish i could be the damsel in distress, but it doesn't work that way
fact is everyone plays a role and once you're in that role it is very hard to change people's perceptions of you

everyone has different sides to themselves
it's what makes us complex human beings

 

Cowardice is not the same as crassness. Cowardice seems to be one of the most destructive traits a person can possess. Having said that, reckless bravery can be a better way of harming yourself than cowardice. I can never seem to reconcile the two and live my life reasonably and I am tired of it. I am one extreme or the other. I am the guy that makes a girl fall in love with him in one night with his confidence and recklessness and then avoids calling her for days because as soon as he is alone again he just wants to hide.

Matters of personal taste and matters of how you ultimately live your life are two different things, the latter having the most consequences.

 

There is no self.....

 

Yes there is. You're a fag.

 

Suck a dick you idiotic bitch.

Tell me what a "self" is then you fucking moron....

 

I get what you're saying...

I"m in that same boat.

 

?????

for reals?

 

The little guy in between the ears.

 

Yes.... what is "self"..... There is no self....

Self is defined as "The self is the individual person, from his or her own perspective. To you, self is you. To someone else, self is that person. " (Wiki)

But that is not true or words like "yourself" "herself" "himself" would not exist.... so by definition it is its own contradiction, is it not?

 

That is your mind, is it not? Are you your mind? What about the rest of you? Central nervous system, spleen, heart....

 

go drink piss

 

The complicated interwoven psycho-biological mixture of emotions, memories, preferences, attachments, self-images etc. that exist within our minds and is affected and affects the external world from the moment that we are born until the moment that we die, largely exacerbated by the fact that we can hide our innermost thoughts and feelings from each other.

Even Buddha had a self. The idea that the self does not exist is a dogmatic, illogical myth, unless we get into the mind-matter debate after which the issue is infinitely more complicated than anything we can cover in a few posts.

I admit that the lines are blurred between the "self" and the body, as well as the self, the body and the external world, but ultimately a self is definable, if not loosely.

This forum is made up of selves.

 

Why wouldn't it be true? All that it means is that it's in relation to a perspective.

And for the sake of this thread, I think the context of self can be examined from the first person. Only we can pass the ultimate judgment on ourselves that has any real true effect to the psyche.

 

Suck a dick bitc..... Just because you saw face eaters cock or some shit and decided you are friends with him after months of sitting around bitching about him doesn't mean you should be interfering in grown man discussions....

 

Oh yea... don't feel bad when it isn't yours, bitc.....

Some of us a more mature then that.

Good try!

 

Whenever I get the feeling of the bad side taking over, I just tell myself things like, "This is only a ride and that I create my own experiences." Then I try to snap myself out of it by bringing up a certain kind of energy that ends up making me feeling wacky and in control (at least of myself). Will is a very powerful tool, but sometimes it's hard to call on it on when a bad mood sets in because sometimes I feel that I am not in control of my mood... in other words, my mood that I am has its own philosophy and I can feel entrapped by that philosophy because that philosophy is 'telling me' that it's not possible to snap out of it and that I should just accept it... it self perpetuates itself. But its something you just have to learn how to do... you have to remind yourself that the philosophy to remain happy IS possible and to just push it forward... strain it out a little before it gets to the good stuff... because sometimes it feels like it won't work, but it ends up that it always does.

But most of all, accepting that there are high and low points and just splitting yourself from your moods can be helpful... in other words, don't let your moods dictate your attitude. Sometimes the two seem to merge as one, but in fact, they are two very different things. When they are seen as two separate forces, then its helpful to transcend the mood while keeping attached to the attitude.

 

Not having dark thoughts would be strange. Everyone has a bad side. I'd like to be able to not act on any of those thoughts, but even if I were, I think doing so would make life less exciting.

Everyone is selfish. Like Tree-Hugger said, you gotta look out for yourself. That doesn't mean you can't be unselfish at the same time; by being selfish in the first place (earning a living, being happy) you are able to share the love.

I don't let my bad side out very often, not in ways that matter. It's been a long time since I hurt someone. But I like to be mischievous now and then, might get bored otherwise.