So I have a history of cutting but have been fine for almost 3 years. So much so that I got a tattoo to celebrate my accomplishment. I was a cutter for 4 years and tried everything to stop. Then one day, I just didn't feel the need. Recently, I have slipped into a really bad bout of depression. There is not one ounce of happiness or hope left in me and I found myself cumpulsively cutting myself again. I really want to be strong. Then my roommate sat me down yesterday and told me that she was worried about my drinking habits. She doesn't think i am an alcoholic but she sees me on a fast track to becoming one. I just want to go away. Alcohol helps me escape. However, I feel so guilty that my roommates have to deal with me. I don't want to be THAT girl but I don't know what else to do. Medications made me worse. Counseling made me feel like a burden and a failure. I just wish I could snap out of it like before. What should I do?
What helped for me was finding something new to take my mind off everything. Don't be discouraged if you don't find that thing at the start of your journey, cause the search is half the fun!
I'm not really into weed but who knows... I have a very addictive personality, and if I am already having trouble with alcohol why would I want to add something else?
dont try more drugs, since self mutilation is addictive and similar to a drug rush. get therapy. speak to a professional. AA or NA is good and could even help you with the self mutilation. ive known a few girls who 'cut' and didn't think there was a way out. i wish i could give you better advice on this. good luck
I think addiction is more than just 'I'm addicted'. I think it means there's something missing that you're looking for, but you can't find and just fill the whole with huge amounts of whatever you can find.
To the Op. I was a massive alcoholic for almost three years (17- a few weeks ago). All you have to do is find something thats bigger and more powerful than yourself and understand that it's more powerful than you. AA uses 'God' as the option or choice of something more powerful than you. I personally will never be able to believe in a man in the clouds with a beard. I do believe in god as a 'force' so to speak, but thats another subject. I had a bout with psychedelics and never looked back. I realised the universe never wastes, nothing is irrepairable, nothing is forever, life and death are both only dreams. The universe takes you along on the ride because it chooses to have you there and it will choose when your ride is over and it'll help you get to the next one. If that's not something big enough to believe in and respect then I'm fucked. Just find something you can believe in and something that will speak to you. Then you can begin to understand it, accept it, and love it, and in turn you will become an incredibly intelligent, strong individual. Good luck whatever you end up doing or believeing in. I hope you find peace and happiness. The three books I have listed below are incredibly insightful and I think they could help you on your journey. They have helped me immensly. Peace -Modern man in search of a soul...C.G. Jung -The art of being...Erich Fromm -The analysis of mind...Bertrand Russell
Thanks. I agree with the whole believing in something that is bigger than yourself. I grew up in church and went to a private Christian school for 9 years. But I don't seem to relate to everything I have been taught. It doesn't seem real. I have been on a journey for the last 3 years to find something that fill that "bigger than me" hole and have come up short. I want to live for something but my search seems pointless. I really hate being a Debbie Downer, I just wish I could find that answer... at least find the right answer for ME and be confident in it. I will read those books in hope of coming closer to that revelation. Thanks.
First off, quit drinking. Alcohol ables you to get somewhere while sober you were not able to reach. Second speak to someone you trust whether it be family, friends, or a medical professional. If you do not get control of this it will take control.
