some weeks im fine and right now im just so sick and bored of life. 22 years old still in the closet, no friends, like zero interaction with people. its gotten to the point where i go out in the day to get groceries and i get like nervous and anxiety or whatever being around so many people. you know what i did for my birthday last week? sat in front of the computer playing an mmo. reason im still in the closet is im saving up and moving away by myself but from time to time i feel its all not worth it. even if i do move, would i really be "out"?
you are who you are. why wait to show the world the real you? i can relate about social anxiety. mine is improving because i make myself go out and do anything every day. it's getting easier. eace:
ughhh i knowww i cant wait to be able to go out and just have fun with friends or do whatever its just i cant come out to my family for some reason, im the only boy in the family and i have cousins and so many people that our family knows, like no other kid in our familys circle of friends that are gay its just i donno...
All change comes from within... I did not come out until i moved away from home, its much easier i think because you can tell your family then, if you you would like to that is, it really does not matter. You do what you have to do to be happy and thats all that matters
Wait, so do you attribute most of your social anxiety to being gay? If so, I think that you might be letting your sexuality define you too much. Not all (probably not even most) of your interactions with your family involves conversations about sexuality do they? But this could just be my post-closet perspective. Now, being gay is such a trivial part of me - I hardly ever think about it consciously... But, on the other hand, telling my family was a HUGE weight off my shoulders... although, it was unbearably difficult. But it wasn't b/c I was insecure or afraid they wouldn't accept me. In fact, my mom had hinted at it numerous times (even saying things like "you know I would love you no matter what your profession, your sexuality...etc.). Its just that bringing it up and having to actually say it was annoying. You just have to push yourself at that moment. Just take a deep breathe and release it. I also second Starfox- I started actually living 'out' when I went to college. My best friend knew b4 that but she was the only one. The distance and new environment really does help. But not only that, moving out let me get to know me better. I've learned so many new things about my self and the world since then- it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Two years later and my hometown still seems to muddle my new-found clarity and understanding. I would suggest the move - why not give it a try? You could always move back...
Yeah, Ditto with the kind of things Abstraction is talking about. You need to do the 'out' thing to see first hand how full of shit most people are. Mums know, mums always know, you'll eventually work out she probably knew from when you were 6 or so. Dads in the end just give a fuck about having to put up with the dumb jokes from their mates. worrying about what everyone else thinks, hardly manly If you've got a sister she's just probably mostly pissed off that you can pull hotter guys than her. Brother, same as the dad, but also pissed off you are more at ease around the girls, so standing next to you, to the girls he stands out even more as the guy too horny to function
