Okay so, i am with my bf that i lost my virginity too, and I mean we've been having sex for like two years and atleast once a day. Heres the thing, i was never much of a masturbator and although i know how to make him blow through the roof, i have no idea how to make myself, or let alone show him how to. Im not sure if Ive every experienced a true orgasm, and REALLY want to. Help please?
Heres the thing with that, masturbation was never my thing. Maybe i just dont get it or something...but i cant seem to make myself stay focused on it. Even sex takes a while to focus on if we didnt have enough foreplay. I guess a girl could answer this better: what helps you focus when pleasing yourself, or gets you into the mood?
I think what he means is you have to be comfortable with masturbation and not see it as sick or degrading or something that is weird. Its being comfortable with it mentally. If you have a feeling that its not good or not normal or the kind of behaviour is not healthy it may impede your ablility to have an orgasm. If you can put your vulva under a tap in the bath and just take in the pleasure thats a good thing. I think orgasm is not just about pleasure its also a good way of relieving stress and allowing those naturl opiates to make you feel good and happy. If you can masturbate to close to orgasm or even orgasm its that much easier to reach orgasm with a partner. Because you can already let go and enjoy sex. Sex can be very exciting and pleasurable, and when one has negative feelings associated with it it really does take the fun out of it. So if you can tune into what feels good for you then all the better.
I focus very much just on the feeling, relaxing and enjoying it (while masturbating, I mean), closing my eyes and enjoying it (if I have the time), but I also focus quite a bit on fantasies that turn me on. I think just relaxing and enjoying it is kinda the key. Then just let it build up, don't be afraid of when the feeling gets real strong, like before you're gonna orgasm, and just don't stop.
i didnt know how either, then i found heaven. i posted this in another post a few months back, but ! Bath tub. Lay under the running water with your legs spread and well, yeah think about him too. hopefully it works. gl
Yea, the shower-massager is a big, big help. I forgot to mention that, despite the fact that I use it all the time, and also with my friend, taking turns, watching each other in the shower with it. The hot, strong stream of water is such an incredible turn on. I love it. Aim it directly at your clit, find the strength of stream and water temp that's best, close your eyes, and it literally is heaven. God, it's so good.
C'mon woman, forget the masturbating if it hasn't or you think won't work! You've enough disappointment in your sex life, without forcing yourself. From what you say about daily sex for two years, it sounds as tho junior is enjoying himself and forgetting that YOU are his responsibility. Tell him! No shit! That is the problem with starting so young. Guys can immediately, but it takes women some experience to come to enjoy sex. You probably have not had an orgasm. Has he ever fingered, or better yet, slow and lazy tongue licking your vaginal lips before pulling them apart and digging deeper with his tongue, mouth sucking and slurping all the time? Has he ever kept the thing in his pants until he is certain you have cum? Has he gone home/ or to sleep without cuming, but spent all his time holding you, loving you, kissing you (not just upper lips!) Is he selfless to a fault always working for your enjoyment. Talk about these things. Tell him you haven't gotten much out of the experience. Don't be afraid of hurting his feelings, if he isn't thankful for your honesty - get yourself a cazanova. His secret was to never worry about himself, always work for the woman's pleasure. He was a successful lover, your friend is not. Rule of thumb: if a woman is unfulfilled sexually it is the guy's fault. The guy should want to know it. He shouldn't have to ask "how wassit for you?" (silly?) If you've got a guy who thinks only of his dick - get a new one. Plenty of us around. Don't worry about being so young - think of all the time for sex you have ahead of you. Go girl!!!
