Hey! So my son is soon to be 11. I know that is still young, but I believe is starting to go through puberty. After camping with my dad for the weekend, I checked him for ticks when he got back. I noticed he is starting to get hair on his genitals. I have found porn sights on his cell phone as well. I went through puberty very young, so I expect him to as well. I'm a single'ish mom. My girlfriend and I have him the majority of the time and his dad has him a few days of the week. He doesn't have the closest relationship with his dad, but pretty much talks to my gf and I about everything. I was an only child. I don't have a lot of experience with boys going through puberty. Has anyone read any books or came across anything to help me get through this. He starts middle school this year, and I know he will be exposed to a lot of things, and hormones will get nuts. As a young mother who had him when I was 15, I'm getting scared... Haha. So any advice on how to talk to him about things or what to expect would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
I think the most important thing to do is to make him comfortable with his body so he can open up to you any time. Don't make him feel self-conscious. Let me know all body changes are normal. Encourage him to know his body and teach him boy-girl differences if you're comfortable with that.
okay, i think you're going a little far with this tick checking. if he's 11, he should be able to check his genital area on his own. yikes!
^^I agree. And I wouldn't expect an 11 y/o boy to go to a female for advice with anything puberty related. And he's already looking at porn sites? Maybe mention to him that women aren't sex objects before hollywood warps his mind.
Wow, that seems really early for him to be interested in porn sites? My son is almost 9.5 years old and has no interest whatsoever in girls yet, even though they sure do chase after him. I hope it stays that way for a long time. My husband claims he started to be interested in girls around 13 years old or so? Then again, kids are maturing so much more quickly these days. Anyway, I would just be honest with him...it definitely sounds like you need to have a talk. He's probably confused and not sure what to think of all these new changes he's experiencing. If you're not sure how to approach the whole subject (believe me, I'm sure it's hard from your standpoint, I've already designated my husband as the one to to talk to our sons, I'm handling our daughter!) maybe you could check out a book from the library, look for some suggestions? You don't want to embarass him yet he sounds like he really needs a talking to. You don't want him getting his sex education from the streets so-to-speak. Good luck to you, wish I could offer more help but I haven't really reached that stage yet. {{{Hugs}}}
Back when I was a little kid, I was already playing "show me yours/show you mine" and looking for porn by the time I was six. Sex being such a big part of our culture, it looms and the curiousity is there for small children even if the hormones aren't. And this was before the internet made it easy to find porn! But for Mystik Lilac, when I was 11 years old Judy Blume's book Then Again, Maybe I Won't had a big impact on me. It's about a boy that age, just entering puberty, and the experiences he has with it. It was entertaining, and let me know I wasn't alone. As for more educational things, what I learned was mostly in school. You might try to talk to the health teacher, about what's in the sex ed class. Or even your doctor. Get some pamphlets or books that are recommended.
Agree'd. On another note, if my mother went through my cell phone id lose all respect for her and never trust her with anything ever again. But then again im a way more intelligent and mature person than i was when i was 11. I find that things go smoother with my mom and i when we trust each other.
