you can never really know someone

Yeah sometimes its impossible to tell how evil someone is, no matter how much you THINK you know them. The problem is theres too many people in the world and about 50% of them are evil.

 

gotta expect the unexpected. we get suprised when someone dosent live up to our expectations, but thats only human, no one can compleatly know what anybody will do in different enviroments or situations. The best way to learn about someone and the choices they might make is to communicate, to get involved in all aspects of their life. other wise dont assume you truly know them. Plus people change. As we learn more about the life we live the more we change the way we react to it

 

Sometimes some people feel more comfortable revealing themselves with complete strangers than those that they know. Probably because they don't really care what the strangers think and that they could be this interesting person with their group. While if they acted that way, displayed themselves to the ones that they love, then they would risk shattering the image that their loved ones have of them.

Personally, I wish that we can show the real us to everyone.

Would love to see it start happening.

And I agree with you, sometimes the unexpected can happen. I am just unsure whether or not that unexpected behavior was something left latent inside the person, or that it started to develop later on. So it's not really a matter of not knowing the person, so much as not being able to predict what that person could do in the future.

 

I think this quote fits perfectly with this thread =)

 

I agree with this.

I KNOW that I know my sister and I KNOW she knows me, though. The only person in the whole world that I'm 99.99% sure of.

♥ her

 

Personally, I think I have 3 "lives": public life, private life, secret life.
But, they are inter-linked.

I come here and I have spoken to many of you...you may know some of my opinions but I doubt you know me as a human being.
Well, I think that works with my friends and aquaintances too.
Perhaps even some people I have gained a connection with here and other places, I trust more than my "real life" friends and they know more about me.

People you don't associate with as a proper friend don't wish to use it like even good friends wish to do - they use it as leverage.
They (real life friends) may know what I think about certain things, perhaps because of time spent, they know a little about other aspects of me. Perhaps even things I am not aware of.

I most deffinitly have a secret life, that NOBODY knows about.
It is the secret life in my head.
Peoples "secret life" doesn't have to be "fucked up"...it is just none of anybodys business. Nobody wil gain anything from it.

I keep wishing to mix up private / secret and personal.

To some my personal life is secret and private.
I might verbalise aspects of my secret / personal and private life, so people get to know me.
But I'd never wish to tell anybody about everything about me...or wish for anybody to try.

I guess it boils down to finding a healthy balance with each person you know and attempting to find a balance with their life and their personality.
Sometimes it is possible...sometimes not.

You don't always need to know everything about a person, though.
Who'd actually want to know everything about each person they know?

Finally:
I reckon the more ways we get to express ourselves the more fractured ourselves become.

 

I didnt let it ruin every situation. I still have some trust for people but I do have a lot of guards up, so many gaurds that it does ruin most of my relationships with a lot of people

I still stand by not really knowing people, because ill never really get to fully know people, because theyll never get to know the real me. Yes I do have emotional problems. you can blame my past

 

i like to have a plan in my head, or an idea of myself in a new situation before it bubbles up and becomes a reality and in the eyes of the public. i do things and make great strides to create things of beauty for myself and then let other people see them when i'm damn well ready for them to be seen. its not like its some deep dark secret, i just wanna hold on to it for a bit like my secret lil pearl. i'm the clam and i'm letting it swirl around and grow a bit before i show it to anyone. some of my darkest secrets started just as a grain of sand swirling around inside my shell and became pearls with time, and then i was ready to show them and they were awesome.

 

I think this is very relevant. Everyone is "fucked up" only because most people lack empathy and understanding for the quirks of others. It is important to understand that what is weird to one person is completely natural to another. Understand this, and don't mock/demonize/vilify/etc the things that strike you as strange, and your fellow man won't feel he needs to keep his true nature secret.

Pretty much all people are good. No one believes themselves to be evil, again it's a failure to understand our fellow humans and make assumptions based on our own values and interpretations. Hitler is the classic example of someone who genuinely thought they were doing a good thing, doing humanity a favor, but most people would agree he was very misguided.

If you walk around thinking every second person you meet is evil, you are making some pretty bad assumptions. Instead try to realize & see the good in others, and try to empathize with them and see why they think their actions, that seem wrong to you, seem right to them.

 

i agree with the OP in that i don't think personaly i truelly know anyone.
i really know next to nothing about anyone in my family and they know the same about me.
me and my fella are having lots of problems and thats basically linked with these three lives that have been mentioned, and me every so often coming into contact with his 'secret' one and finding all sorts of things that he's keeping from me.

i dont think everyones secret lives are wrong but everyone has one to varying degrees i think. and having a seperate social and private life is fine. i dont behave in the same way at work as i would at home, but thats normal. i think in some ways it's good to have areas of your life that people don't know about and are just for you to do/think about. as long as these things are causing no harm to anyone it's ok to not be a completley open book.

 

I don't think I want to know people's secret lives. No one really does unless they share it with them. Everyone has sexual quirks and odd habits and stuff like that... it's normal. It's rather weak to say that you don't know them simply because you aren't familiar with those.

 

i don`t even know myself, how can i know other people

 

You beat me to it.

I only have to add that co-dependent relationships lend themselves to surprises. A lot of relationships stagnate into role-playing because people put themselves and their friends in boxes in order to feel safe. And then other sides of their personality which you never risked getting to know for years for fear of losing the relationship, eventually come flying out.

 

Of course, it can be pretty shocking, really, until you've experienced it first hand, it can really make you take a step back. I've also learned that people never really change.

 

People can change.

 

I know everything.

Now join my cult.

 

Where do I apply?

 

At the Center for the Illiterate. However, you will be the only one, as the others do not know how to read or write.

 

Here!

Just state why you want to join, how you'll be useful to us, and pay the entrance fee of £10/$400 or alternatively, if you can't pay, send me a vial of your blood, a lock of your hair (preferably with eyelashes) and a toe (this can be from anyone).

We had to be moved out there cuz some bozos kept stealing all the pens and using them as ammunition against the secretary.

 

It doesn't make a difference if i know what the person does all the time in their private life. The only thing that really makes a difference is if they are not up front about what kind of person they really are. Like people can put up a fake personality just to get you to think they're ok then they'll stab you in the back when they can get the most out of you.