http://www.fmylife.com/flop at first when i saw all my firends joining the facebook group i thought i was some gay shit. but i went to the site and some of the stories are fucking funny like Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML or Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML or my favourite Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me, so I decided to be bitchy about it and say "Did I say you could take a picture?" and he replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turn around, and they were right behind me. FML
haha that site is usually pretty funny...i like to read them on my phone while i wait for the trolley in the morning
Is a great site. "Today I went drinking before my wedding and passed out. Luckily I woke up at 7... PM. FML"
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML this one is funny aswell
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML LOL
FML is pretty funny. Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I've read one before, pretty much this girl was petting her cat or something and it jumped up and dug it's claws into her vag, and she said it was stuck for like a minute.. ouch.
My favorite was one dude said that he got smashed one night and was gettin kinda horny so he decided to text his girl friend...he was using t9 or predictive text... when he ment to say...I wanna fuck your pussy. he actually said...I wanna fuck your puppy. Long story short....no more girlfriend.
are these all supposed to be true? i mean obviously they could be made up, but are we supposed to think it's true or just a joke?
fmylife is pretty awesome. i knda like the gift shop, you can bu this pink t-shirt which says on it: "today i washed my white t-shirt. FML" Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML if you like that site, this one might be fun for ya: http://textsfromlastnight.com/ its just a loada drunk/high textmessages and conversations, from the deep to the gross to the just damn wierd. s'funny as hell
Today, I found out that my extremely-flat chested cousin recently got a boob job. When my mom found out, she said "Oh that's great! They look so good!". Then she looks at me and tells me that I should get one. Everyone including my own mother thinks I should get a boob job. FML
(209): is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers? (1-209): yes...dear jesus what did you do? (209): bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off. XD
Today, i finally got the courage to ask the girl i like to the after school dance after the dance things got heated up we decided to go to the back of the school she began to undo my belt a stray dog come and proceeded to attack me and my date. i was cockblocked by a dog. FML
