While you were dead

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by mrsmorrison27, Jun 8, 2009.

  1. mrsmorrison27

    mrsmorrison27 yoda piss

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    This is a poem I wrote about my feelings towards my brother who just got out of prison after long time heroin use...this is what I felt before he went in and was still using.

    I can't imagine
    what it must have been like
    day after day
    night after night
    the only thing on your mind
    the only thing in your veins
    your silent screams and dry tears
    it's almost too much
    for me to bear

    And while you were laying on the floor
    staring at the ceiling
    praying to the ground
    I was laying on the ceiling
    praying for the floor
    my veins going insane with virginity

    Show me what it means
    to be disgusting
    addicted
    alone
    tear me down
    chew me up and spit me out
    I wish you knew
    how sick I've become



    A bit depressing I know...but since when has heroin ever been pretty?
     
  2. inbloom

    inbloom as the crow flies...

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    Wow, very powerful. I love how honest it is. Great work.
     
  3. BlackBillBlake

    BlackBillBlake resigned HipForums Supporter

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    Yes - that's excellent. Compact, powerful, with a very honest feeling.
     
  4. Jamaica2u

    Jamaica2u Member

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    Well done :)
     
  5. DonaSoledad

    DonaSoledad Senior Member

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    very nice..the last part was really flowing..good job:cheers2:
     
  6. paperairplane

    paperairplane Banned

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    this is intensely wordlessly beautiful, and you got there through words, its living
     
  7. mrsmorrison27

    mrsmorrison27 yoda piss

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    thank you all for your positive words :)
     

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