Wierdest reasons for not coming into work.

This actually did happen to me. It was 15 minutes into my first day on the job as a pizza deliver guy. I was 10 minutes up the road with my first delivery. I rear-ended a jeep going 45 km/h, drove straight home, phoned my boss told him I got in an accident and that I had to quit. Then I sat and ate half of the large meatlovers pizza on my couch while I had a few cold beer Peace

 

Its raining and Im afraid Im going to melt

 

its cloudy with a chance of meatballs.

 

I cant.....today is Judge Judys birthday

 

im getting a blowjob

 

I swallowed my left eye

 

workin' on my tan....

 

my tongue fell out!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I gotta puke....

 

I lost my clothes...

 

my car's in park

 

your dad had a baby?

 

i'm sorry. my cat somehow got trapped behind the refridgerator and we had to call a repair person to get him out when suddenly my other cat got trapped in the toilet going for a drink so then we had to call a plumber.

 

cat hunting

 

I got train ganged by the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders....

 

my donkey is giving birth

 

I have a sunburn

 

i think something got embedded in the soft tissue of my ass... :rofl:

 

I have poison ivy, can't stop itchin'

 

my knee broke