How do I tell my partner...

Ok I have a conundrum folks. I met this guy at work awhile ago and we've really hit it off. We have a lot of fun together, he's smart and motivated, he listens and is supportive and all that good stuff. Neither of us is really looking for a relationship, but we hang out a lot and he's pretty much my main guy. There's just one problem...

God I really hate how superficial this is going to make me sound but well, the guy is pretty big. He's at least a foot taller than me and also close to 150 lbs heavier. It doesn't really bother me how he looks because I care more about his personality than his looks anyway. The problem is that sex isn't very pleasant, and neither is cuddling because he insists on being on top. He doesn't seem to realize how much weight is put on me when he lays on top of me, or when he puts my legs up on my shoulders and rams into me. It is literally sometimes hard to breathe! I usually try to roll him off and get on top of him, or come up with a way to get him off so I can breathe, but I think he's starting to pick up on it because he's started asking me if his weight is a problem.

What should I do? I'm nervous that if I have an honest discussion with him where I admit that yes, it would benefit our sex life if he would loose a few pounds he'll be upset because he was expecting me to deny it. At the same time, maybe if I was supportive he could diet a little. I don't know what to do. It's not like I'd break up with the guy just because he's overweight, but I do feel like I should be honest with his questions, especially if it means a better sex life!

What do you all think? Be as honest as you please

 

If I were you, I wouldn't try to make him change to make the situation better. I'd make the situation better by working on ways to have awesome sex with him just the way he is.

 

just tell him he's a big dude and kinda heavy when he's on top of you. you be on top.

 

^ yeah there are lots of ways to work w/it

 

Tell him, for sure.

He sounds like a cool guy, and should understand what you're saying about bed-pressing the additional weight.

What he might want to hear is that,

the truth,

instead of worrying about you maybe thinking he's fat.

Both my husband and i are big, so "missionary position" is definitely out ~

but what joy finding the other positions that work! :rofl:

 

You don't need to tell him his weight is a problem just tell him the sex positions are making you uncomfortable.

 

tell him that his weight is an issue. im bigger but not huge i could do with to lose a stone. and finding the motivation is hard so this might help him. you are his motivation. if he realy likes you then he will try and lose abit of weight. if that doesn't work tell him you want to be on top

 

Tell him the weight isn't an issue except in that it makes the sex uncomfortable and/or painful.