I love you Do you love me? I still love you You don’t love me… Do you know how I feel? To feel so lonely I don’t know if I can deal If only, if only… I think about you at night It’s like a kind of blight I lay thinking, awake Only risen by a shake… Your beautiful face You are so perfect Surely it would ace There’s not a defect… Oh, I love her To see you, what I’d do If only she’d concur I’d walk miles just to see you… I'd just like feedback please. this is my first real poem and i feel very strongly about it.
im usually very put off by poems like this [ love, sorrow, emotion, lust, hate, depression...clichés] but this one did something for me, however flawed in technique this might be. aesthetically, you have, on my now second read of this, put me back in time to a place when i had these very emotions running through me as intense as you feel about this poem. i thank you for that, it was a nice feeling. not a bad first post.
It gives me that kinda first love feel to it. Like your not sure if you love someone, and you don't want to freak them out by saying you do, but you don't want to let the emotion go by unnoticed. I loved it.
creativity is what's left i like poems with weird rhyming schemes, that stay away from the depressive.
