Bisexual Frustration

I'm definitely Bi. I want a wife. I want kids but I also find guys hot... I don't see myself with a guy (though I'd never totally rule it out) but really like sex with men and women.
I can't imagine coming out as being bi as I think it would destroy any chance of having a family. So many people view it as a stepping stone to coming out as being gay or if they don't, they think that you're untrustworthy and they couldn't be with someone they couldn't ever fully satisfy.
My question is this: How many bi-people here are actually out?

 

I'm not bisexual, I'm pansexual but it's similar and yeah I'm out

 

i have told a few of my friends. other than that i go about my ways with my private life.. if someone is curious to ask me then i'll give them an answer.

 

What's the diff between bi and pan? I've never heard of pan before and just looked it up. There doesn't seem to be much of a diff.

 

I'm married to a great guy & am bisexual. ^_^ he is heterosexual but that is cool. he loves me for me and i love him for him.

 

I don't mean this in a bad way. But I think it's easier for a girl to say to a guy that they're bi then it is the other way around. Most heterosexual males would be turned on by it on the other hand I don't think heterosexual women are turned on by it or even very open to the idea.

 

Actually, quite a few of girls I've told have said they think it's "hot" to be bisexual. Completely confuses me what about it appeals to them, but meh.

 

I suppose there's the exception but having spoken of it (without being in relationship to me) most girls have been repulsed or have said they couldn't deal with the trust issues... Then I am in Ireland... No matter what people say, we're slowly coming out of our past... Even my parent's generation would be practically homophobic in general.

 

I feel exactly the same as the topic creator... It's really tough.

But I plan on telling people close to me because remember: If they don't accept it they're not the kind of friends you want anyway.

My thing is I find sex with a guy and a girl very very hot and i often find myself looking at the guy more than the girl, but when i tried looking at gay porn it didn't do anything for me. So I'm very confuseeed. I like penis but only if there's a girl there? lol

Edit: and i'm not into kissing, holding hands, touching, etc.


strange shit

 

Sounds familiar except the part about having a girl there at the same time... I've never been in a threesome. However, I do kind of want my friends and the problem is I don't think they'd stop being my friends but it would just always be an unspoken barrier. I don't know how to write what I'm thinking, may be later.

 

This to me is sort of the bottom line. To thine own self be true. You are what you are and if ppl can't accept that then are they really the ppl you want to consider friends?

I was with a guy for about five years, then met my next partner a woman. Before we got too serious I told her about my former lover because I like to be open about who I am. Turns out her fav brother was gay and she had no problems with my sexuality.

I never told her about the couple times I was with a guy but I'm sure she knew. She even knew when I was enamored of another woman (never did anything) and just told me "don't bring anything home, no disease and no babies."

Agreed, you won't often find a partner that open to your sexuality.

 

I feel as if it's absolutely necessary for me to be open about my bisexuality with anyone I get into a relationship with, but if I'm not sleeping with a person, then it's really none of their business. I've told every girlfriend I've had since I was in my early twenties and I've only had one relationship end because of it. I figured that was for the best, though. If someone doesn't accept who you are, then you shouldn't be with them. I don't really talk about my sexuality much with my platonic friends, but I probably wouldn't do that no matter what my sexual preference was. I'm sure most of my close friends either know or suspect, though. I also think that people should understand that just because you are bisexual doesn't mean that you are any more likely to cheat on them than if you were heterosexual or homosexual.

I've had a number of threesomes (mmm, mmf, and mff) in my life, and I've even participated in a couple of full-fledged orgies with people of all sexualities present, but never when I was in a serious relationship. I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with group sex, but I also don't think it is a good idea when you are in a serious relationship. Actually, the strangest thing I've ever experienced was meeting a girl at an orgy and then ending up in a relationship with her. I mean, how many people can say they met their girlfriend by having her come up to them and start jacking them off while they were riding another guy's cock. It even turned out to be quite a good relationship that lasted about 2 years, and, as far as I know, neither of us ever cheated on the other. The only thing I've experienced that's even close to as strange as this was having sex with an ex-girlfriend and her fiancee. It seemed great at the time, but it kind of freaked me out after the fact. They ended up splitting up too. I guess that reinforced my idea that group sex and relationships aren't compatible.

 

when i first came out i asked my husband if he was attracted to guys. he had never thought much about it before. we watched some gay porn together and he explored but came to the conclusion that he only liked one woman...me. lol! i honestly only find two guys attractive in all of life (unless i come across someone else) johnny depp and my husband. other than then i like women.

 

I have never openly said in words that I was bi. I don't know why and I don't plan on it. I do however enjoy sex with my gay female friends and feel totoally relaxed and at my best with her. I only crave and want her though. So am I bi or pan? Who knows who cares. I just know I enjoy it and will continue to. I also love bi men. Very much a turn on to me.

 

I'm out to my friends. No family yet. But while supportive, I feel most of my friends view my bisexuality as a stepping stone to "becoming" a lesbian. It can be frustrating, but I'm over it. I don't care what they think, as long as I'm happy.

 

i believe the whole point is to be and love yourself. who cares what others think. i felt like crap for so long but now i have embraced this part of me and know who i am.

 

im bisexual and i have the same exact issue as urs dude.. i love woman but lately i catch myself checking out a dude or fantasising about doing something with a male. if i was a full blown gay then id tell friends and family but i'll never do that cause i like women also and do want to have a family one day, and if u tell ppl ur bisexual they'll still look at u differently forever no matter what u know. god i love this forum finally a place to say all this shit to lol

 

I used to look at it like you, acs, but now I don't give a fuck. I am different. I am loving.

And I am proud of that.

 

Keep it in mind that if your friends (and your family) truly love and care about you, they'll accept you for who you are.

It took me a long time to realize that... I was always so afraid of coming out to people close to me because I didn't want to lose them. But I did it anyway, feeling like I couldn't keep it to myself. My family still loves me unconditionally. Some "friends" didn't want to talk to me anymore, and I'm glad they didn't. I really don't need people who are unsupportive of me like that in my life.


My point is that, in your own time, it will be okay to come out to people. Those who still accept you are the ones you want in your life, and you will find someone to love and accept you for who you are that you can have a family with.

 

I'm not sure this is true. The predicament for bisexual people is that they have a sexual urge (or at least some do) for both men and women and denying the urge is difficult and problematic. And this predicament is not of their own making. So 'cheating' is not as straight forward as some would like it to be.

For example, if the cheater could switch off those feelings and urges, I'm sure many would so they would never need to cheat. So it's not so simple.