Since last year's chronic pain diagnosis I've found it easy to give up. You are a bunch of strangers on here...maybe that's why it's easy to admit it, yes I'm an addict. It's unfortunate when you feel like you don't have a choice and when you need to relieve pain just to complete simple tasks. I fear it will only get worse. Last night I took one each of my two prescriptions and I also drank poppy tea. Normally I would be more than fine, but some days are much worse than others. I was in such excruciating pain that I barely made it up the stairs and then my boyfriend had to help me get undressed for bed. I had to take yet another pill just to knock me out for the night. I just moved. I am now uninsured and my Rx will run out soon until I can get a job and a new rheumatologist. Which only means I'm going to be finding drugs through friends, which is much harder stuff than my normal Rx for Fibromyalgia. I hate that it seems like there are only two choices: live with severe pain or be doped up...both of which options still leave me fatigued much of the time. I'd rather choose the drugs. This post seems nonsensical and a bit pathetic, but I am barely functioning as I type this. I live for the 'good days' when I don't feel like a 90 year old...the days I don't need quite so many damn pills. It's getting harder and harder to say no, even when I don't hurt quite as bad. I'm not really asking for advice here, because there is not much I can do...not without insurance and a pain-management program. I guess I'm just venting. Thanks for listening...gonna nap now <3
I can kind of relate... I've been dependent on pills for a variety of mental health problems for about 5 years...and then I was diagnosed with narcolepsy last month. I completely rely on stimulants to get through every day, and I know I'll never manage without pills...if I'm not addicted yet, I will be soon. The stuff I was prescribed doesn't really work to keep me awake, so I often resort to taking stronger stuff than I was prescribed, which I can get from my brother. My only options are taking the pills every day, or fall asleep randomly all the time and be too exhausted to function. And I still have to nap several times a day, no matter what I take. I'm kind of pathetic... I don't have any advice or anything, but I can sympathize with your situation...
Thank you for sharing your story <3 I'm sorry about the narcolepsy, that's rough. I have sleep troubles at night, I couldn't imagine fighting with that throughout the day.
I was a pillhead because of my own stupidity for a few months.. Methadone, Xanax, Valium, Adderall, etc. I know how hopeless you can feel just being addicted to these substances. But being addicted, and not physically able to give it up, thats rough. there are other ways to get over your pain without medication though. Look into alternative remedies for chronic pain.
With internet access you must have looked into other alternatives (as farfetched as some of them might be) and searched the limits of the super-highway for answers Hotwater
Man, I understand completely. Since my car accident in 2006 I have been in so much pain. Broken bones, surgeries, arthritis.. I've been told I have fibro as well, then told I don't. I'm also seeing a rheumatologist but I have to see one because I had a test that came out abnormal. So, who knows what I'll find out next. I hate having to live on so many pills to make it through. But I tried the other methods. I tried chiropractors, pain management.. I don't know what else to do, ya know?
It's only gotten worse. Not so much with the poppies but with any drug. And the sad part is, every time I use I think rationally "I could die if I do this" and it doesn't even matter. Depression sucks. Not to mention at the height of it is when my boyfriend decides to admit he is not in love with me but then says he'd be crushed if I left him. I left my friends, family and life to be with him. So do I go back or do I stay and wait for him to figure if I'm the right one? I really want to choose neither...I'd rather sink like a fucking brick into an ocean of uppers, downers and feel gooders... Mmm how I want to just speedball into the end. (No I'm not going to commit suicide, I'm just venting) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
if i took pills consistently i know i would be addicted by now. everytime i do it i wait at least two weeks before i do it again, if only to keep myself used to being sober and normal before i get high again. not that it justifies it, but it keeps me from getting addicted.
Don't feel bad...I have a friend who eats Vicodin 10/325's like candy...like 5 at a time. Yet she claims it isn't a problem. I tore a ligament in my leg and had a shitload of them....I didn't take em very often, as it really only hurt if I overdid it....she's done ate up about 300 of mine, made me call and get a refill, which I didn't wanna do, and then between her and her hubby gets abot 300 more a month....plus she buys em all over...man, I dunno. And opiods are sooo hard because you fight the PHYSICAL withdrawal...not just psychologically...there was SOMETHING recently approved for fibro, but damn if I can remember the name of it. Her last caper involved getting into my little stash of blow (which I used very rarely, recreationally.....but damn it costs and is hard to find!), decided I had a "problem" with it (I don't), and "dumped it down the toilet"...a whole fucking quad....I was PISSED. I know it got traded for fucking vicodins. What do ya do? Turn your back on your best friend? I don't think so.
Understood! I had a addictoin to heroin. 12 years clean, broke my back at work. 1997 they said oxycontin was less addictive than vic's! Well I asked them to make sure they would help me get off med's when time came to do so , because I was an addict. I should have known better. But like you I needed releif from pain. Long story short, I'm in a methedone clinic. I've lost everything I had before the accident. Yes I've started over. I have a buetiful g/f. We're exspecting a baby in oct. You can turn this around. But I've found you have to do it. Personly I found the med's weren't strong enough to be pain free. I always looed for no pain. That does'nt happen. Yoga has helped more than anything. I'm biker type , so beleive me, that seems weird to me. But it works. I'm on methedone, so yes, I do take something for pain. But it's given to me daily. I can't mess with it. Your in for hard times . No way around it. Just use your head, don't always listen to others. Learn about what your treatments are BEFORE you do them. Hope you the best.
GET HELP, life is a beautiful thing, and from what I see of your photo you are a beautiful soul. Get off the pills, smoke dope, I had both my knees crushed when I was in the army 37 years ago. Every day I have pain, sometimes so bad that all I do is lie in bed and read. I take no scrips every now and again I take some Ibuprofen other than that nothing. Years ago the Dr's offered me Oxy (perks), I refused, I knew myself well enough to know that if I started doing those I would get hooked for sure. Pain is a bad thing but trust me in time you and your body will get use to it and not dwell on it much. When I need it I have a bong hit and that's all I need now. However I must admit when I was young (20 yo) the pain seemed worse than it does today. I think that the pain is the same today as it was 37 years ago. What changed? I did, I came to accept that this was just how it was and I need to learn to live with it and I have. Please save your beautiful soul, don't fuck you life up with pills, if I could I would give you a big hug and tell you that everything will be OK, failing that get some help. Life is wonderful, try to concentrate on the road and ignore the bumps because the ride is great even with the bumps. Reminds me of the line in the movie Gotti, the old gangster is dieing and tells the young gotti that this fucken life only last 5 minutes. Enjoy you five minutes and concentrate on the road and ride. If you BF does not love you find someone who loves you. I love my wife very much, more that I can tell you with words, but we never would have found each other if we stayed with the people who did not love us. Look for love I promise you'll find it. Peace Dan
Ya, even if you don't get high off opioids, you can definitely get addicted....at least to the extent that you will withdraw if you don't get them. I've never been much into pain pills, but have had several friends who liked them too much. If my pal don't get her Vicodin (which she got started on after a surgery) she will fucking trip out, and be on the warpath til she gets more. I have NO tolerance to em...she fed me an oxycontin once and I passed out and drooled on myself. Good luck!!! and best wishes!!!!
Hey Usfcat im sorry your going through such a rough time. I was browsing youtube like usual and came across this EFT thing. It really works for anything and all it takes is yourself and tapping points on the body. Heres the vid. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75D56JICBRQ Its just an intro but theres videos showing how to do it in the sidebar, best of luck!
Wonderful post. Thank you so much I decided today that I am taking steps to stop. Two days clean off benzos...I'm fucking sick, anxious and grumpy but whatever, I'll deal. Keeping my pain pill usage to a minimum especially since I just did a strong opiate last night. As for the boyfriend, we talked. He loves me dearly...he's at a point where being in love is not of priority...which is understandable. I can't believe the amount of stress he puts up with. He tells me I am a great relief. Lately we have been enjoying each others company much more since the talk...and he's helping me kick the junk (he's been in the same boat). So things are looking up (even tho I still feel down). Thank you everyone <3
How do you enjoy being a slave to 16 your old on the internet? That's right, because your my new bitch.
you need to stop the poppy tea. if your doctor finds out you abuse drugs he will stop giving you the prescriptions and you will be forced to live with the pain.
pills destroyed TN. every town has murders and horrible child abuse cases becuz of pills ripping apart familys
