i'm currently commuting to summer classes with a girl who's a friend. it's a fifty mile drive, but we don't see each other once we get to campus, until the end of the day. I would like to go barefoot and espescially have the dirty soles as a result, but don't want to make her think of me as being strange for doing so. I wear flip flops nearly everyday, but that doesn't create any of the indignity of being barefoot in public, or the dirty soles that I'd like to have. I actually could care less about going barefoot to any of my classes, and probably wouldn't just to maintain a "normal" impression. It's my friend that I really want to "humble" myself to. One paradox about the situation, is that even though I know she'd think it was gross and that would provide for a little of the superiority/inferiority dynamic I'm looking for - if she knew it was my own choice not to wear shoes, it would kill that aspect. Likewise, I can only suffer the circumstantial situation of "breaking" or somehow other "losing" a shoe(s) once - without it begining to seem intentional - in which case I'd rather go barefoot "outright" - which, I think, would only seem strange to her. I don't see where anyone could have any real ideas for creating the sustainable superior/inferior scenario I describe, but any advice on how to overcome my reluctance to just say ^%& it! and go barefoot, everyday would be useful also, as that is the only feesible plan I can think of. Thanks
Does your female friend go barefoot? If so, she may think it's pretty cool if you do the same. If she's not barefoot, you could try it for a day and see how she reacts. The experiment probably wouldn't alienate her, especially since you're strictly friends at this point. You mention that you're really not into the shoeless thing for yourself. I'm not sure I'm following the logic you've given for why you want to give it a try in front of your friend. Do you really want to go barefoot? Personally, I just decided it was something I wanted to try and thought I'd enjoy it - so I went for it! I've never looked back!
you're thinking too much. either don't give a fuck what she thinks and go barefoot, or try to look good for her and keep the shoes on. it really isn't any more complicated than that.
partially agree, or else you can go bf with flops in your pocket and slip them on if your friend really goes ape. remember, you can't have everything.
If you would prefer to be barefoot and would be barefoot normally if you were on your own or in the company of someone else who definitely wouldn't have a problem with it, then maintaining the façade of being someone who normally wears shoes just for her benefit will cause stress on your part and get you into the habit of doing the same for all sorts of other people and you will end up feeling like you're living a lie. Part of going barefoot is, for the moment, being able to make the statement that you like going barefoot to other people who will find it surprising because they are comfortable in shoes and don't have an inherent understanding of why anyone would be comfortable barefoot. It's the same as being gay, religious, vegetarian or a transvestite. Those are perfectly natural things to be if you fall into one of those categories, but quite strange and unusual and often incomprehensible to everyone else. The question that you have to ask yourself is what do you prefer: being barefoot or conforming? You should find that most people will accept it even if they're really curious and definitely not willing to join in. The rest will merely show concern for your health and express worries about what might happen. Perhaps a tiny minority will decide you're a weirdo and never speak to you again, but those aren't friends worth having. You'll also find that the more you do it, the more confident you get. The more people you find who accept you as a barefooter, the more confident you'll get, and you'll feel perfectly normal because you won't be meeting too much social resistance and you will be accepted and blending in. Consequently, the more confident you are about it and the more comfortable you seem to everyone else, the more accepting they will be. If your attitude towards coming out (as it were) is apologetic, other people will sense that and perceive that you're seeking their approval, and they'll be less likely to give it because you'll effectively be saying to them "I think it's wrong, can you confirm that for me please?" However if you come across as someone who's made a conscious decision, is happy with it, and just wants everyone else to accept it, then you'll be the one with the moral high ground and it'll be up to them not to offend you. I was on a london barefoot meetup the other day and we were talking about how vegetarianism, various religions and all sorts of other things started out as a minority and so were new and unusual and consequently people looked down on them as inferior to the norm. These days it's practically a crime to criticise someone else for worshipping an imaginary friend, and people who eat meat with a group of vegetarians often feel guilty about doing so. Maybe in a few decades going barefoot will be come common enough for everyone to see someone barefoot at least once a month in most big cities in the summer. Then we'll be on everyone's radar and we won't be just a tiny group of weirdos, but a special group of people all making a recognised choice. Anyway, my point to you is if going barefoot is what you really like to do, then you'll have to get used to presenting yourself as a barefooter to other people, and close friends with whom you have mutual trust and respect is a very good place to start. Much better than your own parents in fact, who may be controlling and over-protective.
one way you could "test the waters" is, just before you're to meet up for the ride home, slip off the flip flops and show up at the car barefoot and gage her reaction. That way your feet are too dirty and you'll be barefoot and see what reaction you get and if there is no reaction, do this again for a bit longer getting your feet a little more dirty. If she doesn't react or respond negatgively, just start going barefoot. she may ask where your shoes are the first time and you could say you just felt like taking them off and she what she says. Kinda hard to give advice without knowing the entire situation. good luck and peace, bob
She's not a friend anyway if she doesn't accept you barefoot. Such an issue is trivial in a true friendship.
keep it simple. if you dont want to wear shoes, dont wear shoes. u cant control what other people are going to think, so dont try.
I've always gotten a kick out of these threads. They've come in a variety of flavors, but it's always, "How can I go barefoot"? It's very simple. You untie your shoes and take them off. You pull off your socks and toss them. Now you're barefoot. Go about life as normal. I always feel like the expected answer is something like "Click your heels three times and say 'I wanna go barefoot'," and little doves will arrive to remove your shoes and you'll be whisked away to a world where no one cares about bare feet. It's not like that. One makes the decision and does it. There can be some negative conequences, but 99+% of the time it's just life as usual. When there is negativity, it's usually just some emotional moron who wants to express his/her opinion or exert their authority. There's rarely a basis for their reaction. Remember those Bo Jackson commercials from the '80's? "Just do it"!
+1 "little doves will arrive to remove your shoes and you'll be whisked away to a world where no one cares about bare feet." LOL, that's what happened to me after 500+ micrograms...
I think the point you're making is being missed. You are saying that "I wear flip flops nearly everyday, but that doesn't create any of the indignity of being barefoot in public, or the dirty soles that I'd like to have. I actually could care less about going barefoot to any of my classes, and probably wouldn't just to maintain a "normal" impression. It's my friend that I really want to "humble" myself to. One paradox about the situation, is that even though I know she'd think it was gross and that would provide for a little of the superiority/inferiority dynamic I'm looking for - if she knew it was my own choice not to wear shoes, it would kill that aspect." i'm reading that as it would be hot to you if you were barefoot but not of your control she'd think it was gross, and because it's out of your control she'd be superior and you inferior. And better still, for you, would be if your feet were filthy....More humiliation. (Sorta like when I was a kid at high school my fantasy was that in addition to detention we would be forced to spend the school week barefoot, with the soles getting blacker and blacker). Soo, if I'm right, then be barefoot in the morning and all day long for a week. Even in classes, where "normal" will be affected by the humiliation I think you're seeking. The premise for this weeklong barefoot journey is that "you lost a bet (sports?)" with someone who decided that would be ultimate punishment specifically modeled for you. Many times the cool thing (central) bout having a foot fetish is that it maybe being barefoot as a kid and having dirty feet was forbidden. And forbidden is desireable. So act on it in a way that will get you where you're looking to attain.
