I year ago I found out I was a Princess

It's true.

Even in front of all customers
in Dunkin Donuts Mi Primo Amigo
and also now Manager
calls me Princess, and YOUR HIGHNESS
to let them know of my reign.

He's a very smart man; If his rifle
doesn't convince you after his wits
you're a goner.

A princess can say things like this.

I consider this a thread of utmost seriousness
for I'm going to have to get a
Red Carpet Roller around here when
I return to the Super Holy Shroomery
Lands of Yore; A mythic place.

I used to be cat once. Maybe The Montana
Princess will show up.

I think everyone should find the princess
inside them, where you can qu$een youe
own land like a royal bitch.

I got fucked up off an 8 ball of dew
and some Jazz Cigarettes. 'Tis why
the early unveiling.

There's also been a lot creative build up
which sucks because I don't want to resort
to drive by clownings.

Yours Truly,
From My Kindly Court of the Foreign Land
Princess Apollyphelion

 

if an 8ball of dew makes you feel like a princess then let me get some!

 

You don't know about the Dew?
Here's my Trip Report on it
(before I became a Princess)

Mountain Dew-Trip Report
07/09/07 12:00 PM

Height:5'8''
Weight:155 lbs

Time: 1:33 pm: I was excited to recieve my can of dew, wrapped up in a ziplock baggy; I had gotten a quarter of Mountain Dew, and decided if I was gonna do the Dew, I was gonna do it all. I opened the can, arms shaking as the metal edge pressed against my lips.

The liquid tasted really sugary, and kind of like mung. Yet I was intrigued by its disgusting delicacy.

T: 1:45 What the hell! I'm not feeling shit. I hope I didn't get bunk Dew. This is usually Mountain Thunder, or other cheap imitation brand re-inserted into spent cans:-(

T: 2:11Pm My eyes are dialted, I'm sweating profusely; The intense come up is comparable to Ayahuasca, easily. It's still not to difficult to type, but it does feel like a green tidal wave is eventually gonna come out of my head.

T: 2:35pm 2 hard 2 type, lolz.. OMG .Ifell fuck.

T: 007:00pm Woooooaaaahhh! I DID THE DEW!! That was hella intense, dude! Woooaaahh!!! During my peak, I hallucinated skyboarding to the music of blind melon while trading pokemon cards while the theme song of All That looped in my head; I couldn't imagine I.V.ing this shit! Banging this shit would be like a complete 1990's relapse, complete with Men In Black neuralizing effect. (see Erowid.org) The peak lasted for about 4 hours, with me alternating between a random extreme sport, or some 4 Non Blondes? music...The rest is pretty vague. I'm glad I'm alive, to be honest.

T: 007:22 Well I'm pretty much down; Terrible hangover, arms and legs still shaking; Spontaneous breast growth and green burning piss. I'd compare the comedown some where in between High Grade Smack and Datura extract, so it sucks bad. My penis also hurts, probably because I may have been punching it during the peak.

Time to dose again!! Woooaahhh! Do the Dew!!

It is a puzzle, IT is not fair.

 

hahah at the trip report...especially at the taste of mung!!

 

lol wtf.
i hope you're not being serious.

 

hahah of course he's not being serious

 

lol!

 

Well, in al seriousness I do consider myself a princess.
The MTN DEW trip report was a sham however.