Initiating sex: I just don't get it.

I'm 19, finishing up my freshman year in college, and still a virgin. Technically I've had one chance, I guess--but when she found out I was a virgin she said she didn't want me to lose it while I was that drunk anyway.

Personally I just don't understand it. A girl's not going to initiate it, but the guy can't either--that would make him a creep. If I say, "Do you want to have sex?" the girl's going to think I'm fucking nuts--but otherwise, she won't know I'm interested! (Kissing or touching is equally out of the question, for the same reason.)

Sure, part of the problem is not being able to find a girl who likes me in the first place, but when it comes down to it...I just don't get it. You have to initiate sex to have sex, but initiating sex is completely taboo and practically social suicide. HOW DOES IT WORK??

(For the record, that one chance I had, the girl pretty much just said, "So do you want to fuck on the beach?" Which is something I don't expect many others to ask me.)

 

Actually, kissing and touching does just happen. You don't ask to kiss. When you're talking to someone you can normally tell when they wanna kiss you. Just find the awkward silence and kiss! As for sex, I don't think I've ever asked either. If we're at a party normally someone will just lead the other to somewhere more separate or you'll just get into it if you already are away from everyone else.

Personally, I'd say it's more about picking up the signals from the girl about what they want to do.

 

Where did you get the idea that initiating sex is taboo?? That's what guys are expected to do. Meet a girl, get to know her, get her naked and have fun. What's so complicated?

 

Find a slut and get some practice. It will change your life.

 

you can kind of just go for it and it'll happen. just don't be awkward about it.

 

If I say, "Do you want to have sex?" the girl's going to think I'm fucking nuts

well yah, if you put it like that ... LOL. you don't go from zero to 60 straightaway ... you have to kinda work up to it. see how she reacts at each point along the way. start out touching and hugging and stuff, then to kissing, then to feeling. if you get your hands inside her clothes, see if she'll take them off. if she does, that's a pretty sure signal that you're in.

but don't ask her if she wants to have sex. that's a turn-off.


otherwise, she won't know I'm interested

ummm ... you're a guy, right? well then, she knows.