One Scoop Past Full (trip report)

so i had an absolutely fantastic trip last night, and of course i couldn't go on without writing up a trip report here. no doubt this report will be too long, but i really want to try to do the experience justice. so skip on if your not up for reading the whole thing. this is fresh off my memory, i am still tripping slightly and havn't slept since. sorry for any edits.

so i started out this trip by learning a very nice little trip booster. i learned that like one might be submerged in water before you would be thrust into other dimensions, you can also use alcohol before you trip to 'submerge' yourself for the oncoming voyage. this is useful because by submerging yourself in alcohol and getting slightly drunk before you trip then one might be able to take a deeper voyage than without it. no way in hell would i have been able to reach the depths that i went to if i hadn't first submerged myself for this trip. i find that with the right amount of alcohol and cigarettes to supplement your trip, your voyage can be greatly enhanced. i smoked a little weed before this trip earlier that day, but none during the trip or after(so far). i got fairly drunk before i took my hits, and drank a little bit during the comeup and smoked cigs throughout.

so, i wasn't originally planning on tripping this particular night. but i had been having urges to trip recently so i guess they finally won over. i was getting drunk at a party with a few hits in the freezer, until my friends came over. at first no one really wanted to trip, but 5 minutes later my good buddies M, A, and D, were like fuck yeah, lets trip! we took two hits each, of some very potent blotter.

the 'cid was probably half a year old, from back when i used to have a really good cid hookup. this shit was fire. but at first we weren't really sure if it would still be good because it was so old, so we meagerly awaited to see if we would start tripping. 10-20 minutes later we all started feeling really 'acidy' and agreed that we were coming up.

so after a few minutes of waiting and dealing with a little bit of anxiety about the upcoming trip it really started to begin. we were sitting up in this little treehouse thingy when our other friend E who was not tripping came up and layed down some mad shit. he just started talking about life and reminiscing about his acid trips, and told us a little wrap he had made up. this shit was amazingly transcendental, and was way above our heads even though we were tripping and he wasn't. at this point i really started tripping balls. i took into account everything he said, and it really set me off. 'oh god, he is right. i just need to let go and let this shit take me.'

so we stayed up in the treehouse and talked for a while, and lots of people began to join us pretty quick. pretty soon almost the whole party was oriented around our little treehouse. i met this girl (let's just call her H) H, and we were all talking when i began to have my peak experience. all of the drunk people at the party were really starting to get on my nerves at this point, and we couldn't seem to find any refuge from them even up in the treehouse. they just followed us up there. so as i was sitting there talking to H i began to realise how incredibly hopelessly dependant we are as guys on girls. it really is true what the doors wrote in riders on the storm: girl you gotta love your man, the world on you depends.

well there was really a whole lot going on in my life, and to tell you the truth i absolutely should not have been tripping. 1 relationship problem, 1 upcoming court date, and a few other things to name the important ones. i was extremely nervous during the initial comeup about whether my sanity would be left intact because of everything that i was going through. but somehow by talking to everyone and relinquishing myself to my absolutely hopeless dependancy on women shortly after meeting H i began to really see past all the little things. i was at once a raging hurricane of chaos as well as a serene little ball of love. i connected deep within the collective unconscious and tapped into that pure and undescribable energy that it entails. suddenly all the little -- even though they were actually a really big deal -- things in my life just didn't matter anymore. all that mattered was that i was no longer myself but i was a flaming ball of pure love encased in a raging hurricane of chaos.

essentially i would say that we are all born unto chaos. but during the course of our lives we constantly search for pure love. but the problem is, that in a raging hurricane of chaos pure love does not exist. yes, that's right. it does not exist. but we spend our whole lives looking for it. helplessly searching, yearning for it. so because we can't find it then we create it ourselves. why not, right? so we create in our own vision true love. but the problem is that is it in our own vision. through our crazy ethics and morals, our insane superiority complexes, what we end up with isn't pure love at all. it is just more chaos. so how then, was i a flaming ball of pure love?

my voyage took me deep within the depths of the collective unconscious. by disconnecting from my life i was able to let go of everything that mattered in my life and succumb to the inevitable nurturing touch of pure love. it resounded through every square inch of my being. but none of the chaos in my life mattered in the slightest anymore, because here i was basking in the infinite glory of pure love. not that none of the chaos mattered anymore -- because it does -- but how can one really expect to deal with all of this chaos without some kind of support? my willpower had been growing weak as of late under the laborious strain of fighting all the chaos. after being emerged in the oceans of the collective unconscious and it's pure love i was given the single most reasuring gift that anyone could ever be given. love. i was inpenetrable to all the chaos surrounding me, that i had been thrust out of. although by all means traveling through the storms of chaos is the only way that one can ever begin going about reaffirming oneselve's pure love and unconscious self. but this love that i had been gifted with granted me the incredible ability to deal with and be inpenetrible to all of the chaos. it feels as if i have been granted infinite compassion, understanding, empathy, and patience. all that i needed in this world, was this gift of pure love that i had been given. this gift of pure love that i had been given, had discovered, had lost, and always had. so how exactly is there no love and love is all that matters at the same time? well i am not exactly sure, but i don't think that it can really be given form. my writings here and only an incredibly underdistinguishing attempt at classifying that which cannot be classified. the vague and often condtractary nature of it cannot even begin to be articulated. so how exactly does one go about finding true love in this storm of chaos that we are all in? well i am not exactly sure of that either. it just sort of happens. but when it does happen, it sure as fuck hits you square in the face.

so shortly after the fact everyone came down from the treehouse including myself. i had to pee. when a few of us came back it was just not the same group of people at all -- there were no people. we had kind of lost our crowd of people that we were talking with. aparently that girl H was having some relationship problems and she went inside after that and cried and was just pretty upset. i really felt bad for her, because here i was achieving enlightenment while she was inside crying her heart out. it came to symbolise to me the benighted nature of hope. there never really was any hope, only a fool's hope -- and even that was hopelessly empty. but in the end it doesn't really matter because we have been given this cardinal gift: unconditional love. i can say however say that i think that it's unveiling to me had something to do with the my surrender to the incredibly empty nature of everything that we do, and an understanding and surrender to our fears of losing those we love and are attached to. one cannot possibly hope to contain the vast vagaries of life. it's just not possible... but maybe with this unconditional love, it is.

i don't even begin to know where to begin to convey this message of unsurpassed serenity. but all that i have to say is that you are capable of overcoming anything that is put infront of you. any kind of goal you might want, any kind of challenge that you might face, is a meager intricacy because you have already accomplished those goals and defeated those challenges. could it be, that i have been there all along?

EDIT: i edited in a little text here and there as well as fixed up some grammer and spelling. i think im done now though. haha!

 

alcohol & cigarettes = Trip Boosters?

In my experience alcohol & psychedelics don't mix very well.

 

for sure man. maybe not so much a booster as a forceful guide sometimes.

 

I agree...like a social lubricant.

 

of course you have been there all along, i hear, we've all been there.

but when it does happen, it sure as fuck hits you square in the face.

!

 

I agree but after a few beers I feel like taking acid. :cheers2: but if I take acid without drinking, I don't feel like drinking.

 

Psychological effects

They don't "boost", but thinking they "boost" has a lot of power.

 

It sounds like you got a new lease on life

those are the trips you will cherish forever.

Now find the serenity to not require alcohol to be shown these things

You already don't!

 

Oh well bro, the time i tripped i was going through a major turning point in my life and iam not going to lie it had drastic yet great affects on me...Drastic as in i turned myself into a mute haha...Great affects because it numbed me out nicely... However it did increase my deppression only because of the mute thing and other psychological problems haha..Oh well iam better now :cheers2:

 

Oh well bro, the time i tripped i was going through a major turning point in my life and iam not going to lie it had drastic yet great affects on me...Drastic as in i turned myself into a mute haha...Great affects because it numbed me out nicely... However it did increase my deppression only because of the mute thing and other psychological problems haha..Oh well iam better now :cheers2:

Happy you had a great trip though

 

thanks D that was an inspiring story. drunk in a treehouse at a party and pondering love and chaos. beautiful stuff. I can see drinking before a trip, calm the nerves maybe.

you provoked a few nice memories from trips I've had, and new trips that occurred right now. I feel a bit small and awe-struck :^)

 

Bodhi svaha!

 

Drinking alcohol sure helps me trip better.

When I drink I tend to open up, and feel more comfortable with my self

 

I reject that profoundly . . . ask yourself why you need to be in a stupor to come to terms with who you are?

Try it sober, and do the work.

 

beautiful desos thanks for sharing

 

Many would consider lsd intoxication to be a "stupor"

 

Many more would consider it a clarified state of mind.

 

why do you think they call liqueur "spirits"?

looooooooove is graaaannndd!

 

it's been a few days since the trip, and i am having an incredibly hard time integrating this into my life. how can you integrate nothingness? the light which shone for me is slowly drifting away. it hurts, it heals. it disapears, it reapears. i am the most complete being in the universe, and then it is all ripped away from me -- only to come meandering back.

what i meant when i said that love does not exist within chaos, is that it has no reconizable form or defining charachteristics within this reality. our humaness and connection to this reality has a distinct seperateness from the Tao which pervades us.

so as i slowly drift back to basline and back into the chaos, i must remember this absoluteness which exists. this reality prevents us from truly residing within the wholeness of which i speak. we can only really grasp chaos, and that is what we are fated to do. but simply knowing that it exists is enough for me, and it gives me strength.

i do not have infinite compassion, patience, empathy, or understanding. the forces of chaos prevent me from this fact. but simply knowing of their existence provides me with the conviction that i need, and lifts me back up again.

one love. eace:

 

what can there be that is seperate from Tao? nothing, because Tao is not something that is in categories, like 'seperate' or 'one with'. You keep coming right back to your greatest trap, duality. You think that you had an experience (1) and returned to your normal world (2) and these experiences (1,2) are not the same thing but completely different, and one is the enemy of the other. What you don't get is they are both 1, and they are both 2, and they are both neither, unnameable. Even this. Even your unsurety. Even your reluctance to reintegrate into the 'mundane world'. Even this feeling that everything you learned is slipping away again. all of it. That is the one.

You prevent you. Don't trust insights and intuition which seek to divide reality to explain things to you; the division is the mistake; the splitting is the trap; the dual-nature you see and seek everywhere is created by your mind to ease the pain of truly seeing the oneness of your being, because that comes with profound responsibility and harsh truth. That's why alcohol is so popular with tripping, as per this thread. Opiate for the mind, why? What does a Buddha need to be drunk for to permanently awaken? What does an enlightened being need with "forces of chaos"? Do you not see the roots of "satan" "sex" "women" or any other boogyman history has produced sprouting in the damp and dark soil of your hairline split of reality into "the good stuff" and "the forces of chaos"? Why stop splitting there?

I wish I could walk in your mind, you keep bumping into the truth and saying "Oh pardon me, I wasn't looking where I was going, I was looking for the good stuff"