No Kids By Choice

You could say that about a lot of issues besides this one.

If I was going to undertake any project approaching the magnitude of raising a child, I would want something damn close to an absolute guarantee that there was going to be a positive and worthwhile end result to come out of it.

Once a person has decided to take the plunge, they need to believe that their efforts are going to be useful and well-rewarded. I don't care to rain on their parade. It is those who have the decision yet to make who need to really give this issue serious thought, with an open mind. I have heard too many people say they had kids just because "that's what adults do".

For me, this is more about feeling good about the decisions that I make, and less about changing the world, which I know that one person cannot do.

Thank you for saying that, and for the rest of your well-written post.

 

(Removed by me. I re-read what I had written and it was totally inane.)

 

When you want nothing more in the world, it does

 

I'm not having children either. Environment and over stress of the earth is one reason. Adopting is a much better option.

 

Think of this: if you, who probably have progressive views and will likely instill such views in your children, have no children, remember that the Mormons and Evangelicals and conservative Catholics are having as many as they can and will overrun America with their kind in time. Adoption works for this too, though, but there are only so many children to adopt and for some reason it's damn expensive.

 

If there is such a shortage of adoptable children why are they still out there in the system for life.
Adoption is not all that expensive if you foster first. Adopting from other countries is very expensive though.

 

i've been thinking about this no kids choice myself. i've always wanted kids, coming from a big family i always enjoyed that, although lately i've been madly fluctuating between the two ideas. some days i would love them and other days i think i dont. mainly because i dont see myself setteling down, i want to travel, to explore and live a very varied life. i have also thought of the enviromental implications and watched a documentary on a family who chose not to have children because of this reason. i agree 100% that the population needs to decrease, but as others have raised the point of saying, the people doing this will all be people like ourselves who do care for the enviroment and have the knowledge and understanding that we should be sharing with the next generation, the people that continue to have lots of children may not necessarily posses this knowledge to pass on. it's a hard situation and one that will need to be taken seriously by everyone. which is where the problem will always lie i think.

 

No, because imo, regulating how many kids I or we have in rich countries is complete liberal horse manure.
We can afford to and must have more children infact.
Now, in poorer countries it is wise to not have so many kids...the irony being, we have fewer and they have more. Go figure.

 

Everyone wants to adopt infants. It is hard to get older kids placed. If I was going to adopt, it would be tempting to skip the diaper-changing years.

If it comes down to a breeding war, I don't think the progressives can win it. It has to be done through education. Teach children to think for themselves, and they won't feel obligated to live out their lives as mindless clones of their parents.

 

In my thinking about this topic, I raise my conclusion from the base that this worlds masses will not surmount to a massive change nessecary to strike down the problems that exist before large catastrophes begin to occur. Ie. War, Famine, Disease, are all ticking time bombs that presently will go off, regardless of any efforts. Presently, it is my belief that there are far to many people taking resources from this earth than it can carry and even if we start 'waking up' it would take a way of life that is centered around complete subsistence to even come close to solving such problems we face. This idea is simply laughable to most people out there and they would rather stay in the ignorance that they think protects them from a harsh reality. Many people just DONT want to hear anything about the future, they are in a state of habitual denial and the conflicts they have with one another, are far to immidiate and debilitating for them to step out of immidiacy and think long term happines as well.

I will then have children, one every 5-8 years, starting at around 30-35 depending, on my spouses age to maximize emotional energy input and expansion.

With that said; I would like to answer one of my questions.

I would teach my children a very simple way of emotional intellectalization. Namely, pride and shame, guilt an honor, love and hate, are emotions that help you change things(Negative ones) and that help you to try and keep things the same(Positive ones). Jelousy wll be taught as completly as a reflection of what you want and as a drive to mimic those who have it. Fear will be simply taught as your attention being stimulated by a percieved threat and can be changed if its irrational through focusing techniques that I will teach them. Food and sex will be given equal treatment and I will hope to teach these two as if they are from the same source. Food as sex, sex as food. I will als show my kids my own sexuality, in a number of ways, masturbation and especially sex with another. This will depend on whether or not we live in a rural area or a city. If Ilive in a city, which i highly doubt, I will not bring them to this, because they will have a VERY hard time with their need to balance societal status and their beliefs with us, plus their subconcious acceptances and rejections. I will also show them that they will feel differently than I do about the things I have taught them and will explain to them how my upbringing has shaped so as to minimize confusion. I expect them to be better than me at emotionally intellectualizing and will look to see myself in that situation and how i will handle it, that is unless I recognize that emotional intellectualization is a process.

 

I didn't fully understand your last paragraph, and I don't think I really want to.

For what purpose? If you are right about civilization being doomed (I tend to agree), do you want to see your children and/or grandchildren suffer terribly when everything falls apart? Do you want the responsibility for them being alive at that time?

Yesterday I watched a documentary on the collapse of Mayan civilization, which could be similar in some ways to what awaits us. They once had the most advanced and sophisticated society in the Western Hemisphere. When a lack of resources led to chaos in what is now known as Belize, their behavior sank to a level near the lowest possible extremes of human cruelty. I wouldn't wish that experience on my worst enemy.

 

If it comes down to a breeding war

So who's gonna fire the first ... ummm ... shot?

 

I'll defer to the Love & Sex forum for the answer to that question.

Serious answer: The lead will be taken by members of religions that oppose birth control in all situations.

 

I've already flooded the world with children...so blame me

 

So...you took care of your share and mine as well. I'm off the hook!

 

No problem.... glad to help

 

Damn I read the beginning of this thread and was going to say the same thing

 

I don't want kids for my own selfish reasons. But that's a good rationalization to make me sound altruistic. Thanks!

 

I'm there with you, I am not sure that I want kids as the environment is more important. IF I do have a kid, then I will have only one. There is also a website that expresses this called VHEMT. You can find it at www.vhemt.org

 

Raz can't get you pregnant anyway.

You're welcome. Whatever works for you...

Thanks for the link! It will take me a while to read all that material.

I assume that their name is meant to be funny. We are so far from reaching that point that it is totally absurd.