ive been going in this deep depression, its been hell. I get into deep thought about our existence and our purpose and life and i stared realizing we are all really nothing but bacteria, we kinda have no meaning in life but to be and and to create, and that just fucking scares me. Then i thought about other people and how they live there life like robots, you know, they all try to follow certain rules, look good, fit in, be rich, have a great job, like really what has this world come too? we really don't appreciate the smaller and greater things in life, i know sure as hell, our purpose in life is defiantly not to be rich, money. I don't know i feel like lately ive been going down a deppresive road you know? shit dude, drugs really open my eyes to how theres better things in life but they really fucked up my brain chemistry m scared, of finding the truth behind life, and behind, me im scared of really finding myself, and whats causing these feelings, im hiding, and im scared, because then ill know all the good feelings that came to me before, were not real and my life was lie, like what now? feeling what i feel and knowing what i know, i dont know what do with it, , im scared of leaving behind, everything i had, im scared and it sucks, i know, what you feel, im sorry you feel the same way, but im glad im not alone, im scared, i feel so vulnerable, i feel like sometimes i might loose, it get such anxiety, and fear and deppression. Im wanna get out of this and try to find happiness beyond, where i have gotten it from. I know theres so much out there, but i dont know i feel like a messy deppressy bun of mess, i want to make it throught this hopefully i will, im even suicidal the only reason im not is cause i have a family that loves me and friends that do and i dont wanna hurt them. Im so upset, i wanna get better. i dont live life, like i used to now i just feel like a miserably insane blob, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`` these feelings have caused me to not be able to sleep, being scared of going to school, or riding the bus, i even wake up at like three in the morning and i feel like im high, i see patterns like i have when i was on mushrooms, and i feel like im going in another dimension, or sometimes at night i wake up, feeling horribly deppresed, and suicidal, feeling as if everything is in my mind and nothing is real as if im imagining everything, i feel so alone. i eat, but i always feel lightheaded, i feel like im going insane. the pressures, and the corruptness of this world have gotten to my head; nothing that used to make me happy makes me happy anymore. i dont do drugs anymore im a week clean; please someone help me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ive been watching terrance mckenna videos, and now im scared of my life, and how i was living it before like a corporate zombie, these feelings are like a million thoughts racing thorught my head, and im jottery and i cant stay and in one spot,
a week clean isn't that much, you need to give it longer... meditation, exercise, and seeking your own truth will make this transition easier... what transition you ask? well it would seem you're moving on from the innocence of youth into the sometimes cold skepticism of adulthood....It can be very uncomfortable, and terrifying at times.... find an outlet to release all of this, it will soothe you and help you see clearer.... art music dance writing anything that makes you feel good inside know that this, like everything will pass finding yourself will take you out of this hole, it's natural to fear it- but still move forward and embrace it....
what drugs have you been on. you're not going to feel completely well yet. you're probably in withdraw form the drug you were on. unless it was weed. understand this; being clean is real important to your state of mind. go run a mile and 1/2. notice how clear you feel after. try it. go ahead. what do you have to lose when you don't really care about living.
Yea, like rambleon said, i know that some drugs can have that effect when suddenly stopping taking them (talking about mdma, amphetamines etc..(some medical drugs like rilatine contains amphetamines..if you take large doses (taking it to go numb) of it and suddenly stop, it can cause such thougts and emotions). The best thing you can do, is focus on small things, stop thinking, stop having your mind wide open, clean up in house, work a little in the garden, or try doing some things you liked to do as a kid (sounds weird..but helped for me), take a shower now and then, read a book, etc..just keep your focus on small things, eventually you will start feeling better...if it doesn't goes away and keeps getting worse...you should go talk with someone about it. and its really important to not do any mind numbing drugs anymore. but once again..if it doesn't gets better, go talk with a psych or someone you trust.
Great advice, Pellinore, and well worth following! feels like seetheocean has gotten too mental, vibing too high as it were..... get back to simple things that will ground and center you....yes, life makes no sense, but it is up to you to make your own sense, your own world and happiness....even if there's "no point to it" (meaning life), make your own point what you feel and think is what you attract - why not make it great? certain foods help to ground and center our vibrations as well - red meat, red foods in general, and root vegetables (potatoes, carrots, beets, onions, etc.) will help alot ..... bathing/showering or simply being near water each day will bring lightness and clarity, for it changes the ionosphere around us
*sighs* i don't feel like making this topic into a discussion topic, as i see it the poster just wanted advice, and i did my best to offer that. A wise person here once told me, that finding the bigger answers about life is like a gooze chase, the harder you try to catch it, the more you scare the gooze away, you just have to wait, and when the moment is there you will catch the gooze. I once had a point in my life that i didn't want to live anymore unless i found purpose, and answers, i tried thinking so hard that it just made me insane and depressed. Especially when you have your serotonine (or how its called) levels imbalanced because of drug use, its not something you want to start thinking of, you would just end up getting more depressed, its impossible to contain the big answers of life, just by thinking really hard, you have to experience life itself and wait for the time to come. thats atleast what i learned. the best thing to do when you are in a state like the poster described is to return to yourself, and take care of your mental health.
thank you guys so much you really helped. Im still feeling the same but i just need to take my mind of off these thoughts.
